Not In That Way
by Racheli
Summary: Edward has been in love with his childhood best friend for years, too afraid to tell her how he really feels. Now, she's about to marry someone else and he thinks he's lost her forever. What will he do when fate steps in and gives him a second chance?
1. Chapter 1

Hello again. It's been a long time since my last story. RL got a bit crazy since then with a new baby and going back to school but I finally got back into the swing of things.

The original idea for this story came years ago from a dance on So You Think You Can Dance set to _If It Kills Me _by Jason Mraz. If you haven't seen it, google it! It's one of my favorites, beautifully done. The rest of my inspiration (and the title) came from Sam Smith's song _Not In That Way._ If you are not listening to Sam Smith, you should be. Seriously, his whole album is amazing. This story begins in EPOV but there are a few chapters in BPOV as well. This story is looking to be around 25 chapters and is only a chapter or two shy of complete so there should be no long breaks in posting. I'm planning on a Mon, Wed, Fri posting schedule.

So, that's that. All mistakes are my own and unfortunately for my bank account, I do not own Twilight. I just play with the pieces.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_"I'd never ask you  
>Cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say<br>You'd say I'm sorry  
>Believe me<br>I love you  
>But not in that way"<em>

Not In That Way- Sam Smith

**June 2014- EPOV  
><strong>

"You're seriously not going? I thought for sure you would change your mind."

"No, Alice, I'm not going. I've told you, I've told her, I've told everyone." I exhaled loudly and pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. Arguing with my sister always tended to give me one.

"But, but, she's your best friend. You have to go!"

"I know who she is and I'm still not going. I don't have to do anything."

Alice glared at me, her arms folded defiantly across her chest. She looked like an angry kitten in a formal dress. "Bella is getting married and she needs your support, Edward."

"I can't support this, Alice. I've already had this discussion with her so I'm not sure what you're hoping to accomplish."

Alice's facial expression went from a look of anger to one of disappointment. It didn't matter. Her disappointment paled in comparison to the disappointment I felt with myself. I was disappointed that I was too much of a coward to go after what I wanted. Disappointed that I'd become so wrapped up in my own pain that I couldn't support my oldest and best friend on the biggest day of her life. Disappointed that my absence would most assuredly cause her some pain and confusion but I didn't know what else to do.

"I can't believe you could be such an asshole! You don't have to like him but you can respect her decisions and be there for her!" Alice was seething.

"Darlin' that's enough," Alice's boyfriend, Jasper, spoke up, coming to stand next to Alice. "Yelling at the man isn't going to change his mind. Why don't you go and help Bella and I'll be along in a few minutes."

Alice glared at me one last time before giving Jasper a light kiss and walking out the door. She assumed I was acting out of protest. Everyone did. It was no secret that I didn't care for James, Bella's fiancé. I thought he was an arrogant asshat. Bella deserved much better and I knew, deep down in my gut, that he was going to break her heart sooner than later. It also bothered me that she wasn't herself around him, instead she was this carefully crafted ideal of herself. She was a living façade and this marriage was a disaster waiting to happen.

What Alice, or anyone else for that matter, didn't realize was that it wasn't just a protest. More than anything, my refusal to attend the wedding of my best friend was an act of survival. Just knowing that the marriage was taking place in a matter of hours caused an unbearable pain in my chest. Standing there and actually watching her exchange vows with that piece of shit would be more than I could handle.

Jasper came and sat next to me on the couch. "So man, what's really goin' on?"

"I just think she's making a mistake."

"Don't bullshit me, Edward. There's something a little deeper going on here."

"Geez, you get one psychology degree and you think you know everything huh?" I said, attempting to deflect his questioning.

"Yup, that's what the PhD means. Now quit trying to change the subject. You can talk to me, man. I think you need to talk to someone. We can keep it just between us, doctor patient confidentiality and all that jazz."

"You're not my doctor."

"No," he said with a small smile, "don't mean I can't keep a secret though. Pretty good at it actually. Part of the job and all that. So, what's the real reason you're sitting here wallowing in booze and self-pity instead of going to the wedding."

I took a large sip of the beer I'd been holding and set it down on the coffee table before taking a large breath and exhaling. "I love her, Jazz." It was the first time I'd said it aloud but it didn't lessen the pain any.

"Thought as much," he replied matter-of-factly.

"I just…I can't be there, man. I can't watch her marry someone else. Just the idea of it shatters my soul but to stand there and watch it happen, to pretend I support it? I just can't. I don't think I'd ever recover."

"How long?" Jasper asked.

I had to think about it for a minute. It wasn't as though there was one exact moment where I'd woken up and decided to fall in love with the girl I'd known since second grade. I'd always loved her but those feelings had evolved from a friendly platonic love to something much deeper over the last several years. "I don't know. I think I've always loved her but I guess I first realized it in college."

"Jesus man, that long?" There was a momentary break in his Dr. Whitlock persona as Jasper resurfaced but he quickly snapped back to the more professional, psychologist mode. "Why do you think you never told her?"

"It would make things weird. It would change our relationship forever."

"Isn't that the point?" he asked.

"Yes and no. Just because I want something doesn't mean she feels the same. Hell, it's obvious she doesn't feel the same. She's never even hinted at it and now she's marrying someone else so that's a pretty big indicator. Me telling her would just make things awkward and strained, especially now. I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than not have her in my life at all."

"Ok, I get that, but are you really just going to pine after her forever and make yourself miserable?"

"Look Jazz," I said, grabbing my beer and finishing it off. "It's not like I haven't tried to move on. I've gone out on dates, I've had girlfriends. It just never works out."

"Because you're in love with someone else?" Jazz interrupted.

I exhaled loudly. "Look, if I thought for one second that she felt anything more than friendship for me, I would confess everything to her but she just doesn't feel that way about me and I'm not going to make it weird between us."

"But you are. By refusing to attend her wedding, you are making it weird. She doesn't understand why. All she knows is that you aren't there for her and she may not forgive you for it. Your relationship may not survive this anyways so what have you got to lose?"

Not knowing how to answer his question, I simply didn't respond. Instead, I rose from the couch headed to the kitchen and grabbed two beers. I opened one and chugged close to half of it before heading back to the living room and offering the other to Jasper. He waved it away, politely refusing my offer. I simply shrugged and finished off the open bottle before cracking open the other.

"You know what I think?" Jasper asked, watching me intently. "I think it's easier for you to lose her like this than to confess your feelings and be rejected. Now you can say you lost her because she was mad at you rather than risk hearing her say that she doesn't love you in that way."

"Fuck you!" I snarled. "You think I haven't already been rejected? You think I wasn't rejected the moment she agreed to marry that asshole? Or that I wasn't rejected each and every time she went out with some new guy and then came home and told me all about it? I'm not afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of losing her completely."

"Yes, but you haven't actually heard the words from her own lips yet and I think that scares the shit out of you."

"You think I never thought about it? You think I never wanted to tell her? Of course I did but it's not that easy. We've been friends for twenty years. Twenty years, Jasper! She is practically all I know. I can't risk that. I won't risk that."

"Alright, alright but sometimes we have to risk everything to get what we really want."

I was ready to be done with this conversation. "Don't you have a wedding to go to?

Jasper smiled and stood, taking the hint. "Yes, I guess I do. You gonna be ok here?" He gave me a long careful look as though he was debating whether I was a danger to myself.

"Jesus Christ, I'm drunk and depressed but not suicidal, Jazz. Go on."

"Ok, but you call me if you need to."

"Sure, sure," I said as he headed for the door. "Oh, Jazz," I called out just as his hand turned the doorknob. "If you say anything to anyone, especially Alice…" I trailed off. He knew my sister well enough to know that she couldn't keep a secret to save her life, especially something like this.

"Not my secret to tell, man. Still think you should tell Bella, though."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Little late for that don't you think?"

"Never too late, man. Never too late to tell someone how you feel." With that, he was out the door, leaving me to wallow in my own self-pity.

I attempted to watch a little TV but nothing could hold my attention and cable seemed to conspire against me as every show or commercial that came on had to deal with weddings or declarations of love. I finally couldn't take anymore and shut the damn thing off.

The silence was no better. The clock was ticking away loudly and with each moment that went by I couldn't help but imagine what Bella was doing at that moment. I pictured her sitting in front of a mirror having her hair done as she sipped a small glass of champagne to calm her pre wedding jitters. I could see her laughing and smiling with Alice, her brother's wife, Rosalie, and both of our mothers. But, it was the image of her slipping into a beautiful white dress that finally brought me to tears.

I pulled myself from the couch and stumbled into my bedroom, heading straight for the back of the closet. There I pulled out the small box I kept on the highest shelf and tucked it under my arm before heading back to the living room. I put some quiet music on the stereo to combat the stifling silence and sat back on the couch, box in hand.

As I lifted the lid, I was immediately struck with a tidal wave of memories. The box contained the pictures I'd gathered over the last twenty years, mostly of Bella and me. There were pictures of us standing in front of our elementary on the first day of school every year. Pictures that we'd taken of each other in junior high that made me groan. Now I could see that we looked ridiculous, but at the time we thought we had looked so cool. There were pictures that my mother had taken of us with our respective dates before leaving to the prom. Pictures of us at graduation, both high school and college. Us moving into the apartment we shared all through college and even for a few years after that. Fuzzy pics taken by drunken friends at parties that I couldn't even remember.

Our entire life together was in this box and I realized that Jasper may be right. She may never forgive me for not attending her wedding. Until now we'd done everything together and I was upsetting the status quo. Plus, her knowing I disliked her husband so much was sure to cause a rift in our friendship. Eventually she'd have to choose and I knew I would be the loser there. This box was all I had and now I realized that we probably wouldn't be adding to it. I slammed the lid back on the box and headed to the kitchen for another drink.

When I returned to the living room and settled back on the couch I realized I'd left one picture out. It was Bella and I as children, taken only a few months after we'd first met and I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the day Isabella Swan entered my life and changed it forever.

**October 1994 **

"_This is stupid, mom! Why did we even have to move?" _

_My mother gave me an exasperated look, sighed and returned her attention to the stack of paperwork on her lap. "Edward, we've been over this. Your father was offered a new job and we felt this was a better place to raise you and your sister. It's smaller and quieter than Seattle. I think you'll like it once we get settled in." _

"_Nuh-uh, I'm never going to like it. I liked my old school. This school is dumb." _

"_I like it mama!" Alice piped up from the floor where she'd been coloring. _

"_Well, you're a suck-up!" I said and pushed her paper away. _

_Mom set down the stack of papers and turned her full attention on me. This wasn't good. "Edward Anthony Cullen, you do not talk to your sister like that. Where did you even hear that term?" _

_I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, TV?" I'd heard it from my friend Demetri who'd heard it a million times from his big brother. Even though Demetri lived way far away now, I still wasn't going to tattle on him. That's not cool. _

_Mom sighed again and shook her head. "Ok, well I don't want to hear you talking to your sister or anyone like that again. Do you understand me?" She didn't wait for my response. Instead she grabbed her stack of papers and stood from the small blue chair and handed the pile to an old lady behind a huge desk. "Here you go. I think I've got it all filled out." _

_The old lady looked through the papers and typed a bit on her computer before standing up and coming around from the desk. "Alright, let's get you both to class." _

_Mom had already gathered up Alice's crayons and papers and followed the old lady out of the office, motioning for me to follow as she took Alice's hand. We stopped in front of Alice's classroom in the Kindergarten hallway and I watched as the old lady took Alice into the room and spoke to her teacher quietly. Then the teacher called out to the class, told them all Alice's name, and made them all say 'hello' to her together. I hoped and prayed that my teacher wouldn't do that. _

_The old office lady came back out and we finished walking down a hallway until we stopped at another classroom. "Ok, bye mom." I said, just before the lady opened the door. I knew she would hug me and I didn't want my new class to see. Mom gave me a small hug and told me to have a great day. The old lady opened the door and I followed her through it, watching all the eyes of my new classmates turn to see who'd just walked in. _

_The old lady whispered to the teacher who was older than my mom but not as old as the office lady who turned back to me. "Edward, this is Mrs. Cope, your new teacher. She'll help you get settled in, alright?" _

_I nodded and the office lady turned and walked out. I saw my mom wave from the door but I didn't wave back and then the door closed and she was gone. I didn't want everyone to think I was a mama's boy. _

_Mrs. Cope turned to me and smiled. "Class, this is Edward Cullen and he's new here. I expect you all to make him feel welcome and help him out until he gets the hang of things. Now Edward, why don't you go and sit over there next to Jane." _

_She pointed at a tiny blonde girl who was sitting alone at a table. She was so little I thought she should be in Alice's class, not second grade like me, and she was staring at me scrunching up her face like she thought I smelled bad or something. Right away I decided that I didn't like her and I guess she didn't like me either because she made a loud groaning noise. _

"_Ugh, I don't want to sit next to him! He has red hair!" She squealed. _

_My hand flew up and touched my hair but I quickly dropped it. I didn't need to bring more attention to it. She was wrong anyways. It wasn't red. Ok, it was a little red but it was mostly brown. My mom called it bronze and I thought that was cool because bronze is a metal and I thought it sounded tough to have metal hair, like a robot or something._

"_Jane, I fail to see why his hair color is a problem," Mrs. Cope said. _

"_My big brother said that people with red hair are called gingers and that gingers have no soul! I don't want to sit next to someone with no soul!" The stupid blonde girl said. _

"_I'd rather have red hair than no hair color at all!" I yelled. It was true her hair was so light it was almost white, as if God had been coloring her and forgot to color in the hair. _

"_Enough! Jane, I think you need to stop believing everything your brother tells you. I can assure you that hair color has no bearing on a person's soul." _

"_Mrs. Cope!" A small quiet voice called out from near the back of the room. I turned and saw a girl with brown hair raising her hand back and forth. "Mrs. Cope!"_

"_Yes, Isabella?" _

"_He can sit with me. I think his hair is cool!" The girl smiled at me and then stuck her tongue out at Jane. The rest of the class laughed. _

"_Alright people, calm down. Isabella, thank you, that's very kind of you. Edward, why don't you go take your seat? Jane, I'd like to see you at recess to discuss how we treat our classmates." _

_I shuffled to the back of the room and dropped my backpack on the floor next to me. "Thanks," I whispered to the Isabella girl. _

"_It's cool. Jane is a total butthead. No one likes her anyways." She whispered back and I smiled. _

_Mrs. Cope started to pass out some worksheets. When she got to our table she knelt next to me and whispered, "Edward, I'm not sure what you were working on in your old school. If you have any problems, I'm sure Isabella would be willing to help you out or else you can raise your hand and I'll come walk you through it, ok?" _

_I took a look at the paper, it was all simple math problems. "Oh, I've done this stuff." _

"_Wonderful," she replied and stood up, walking back to her desk. _

"_So, you're Edward?" The girl asked me quietly. _

"_Yup, and you're Isabella?" _

"_Yeah, but everyone calls me Bella. Did you just move here?" _

_I nodded as I wrote down the answer to the first question. "We moved from Seattle. My dad got a new job here. He's a doctor." _

"_Cool, I went to Seattle with my parents once. It's so big! My dad doesn't like it though. He's a cop and he says there's too much bad guys there." _

_I didn't know anything about bad guys in Seattle but I guess everyplace had some bad guys. "Your dad is really a cop? Like with a gun and everything? That is so cool." _

"_I guess," she said. "Dad always takes off his gun and locks it up when he comes home so I never see it. He says it's dangerous." _

"_Oh, it is!" I said, my voice deadly serious. "My dad is a doctor and he told me a boy died in his hospital because he was playing with a gun. I just think cops are cool cause they catch bad guys and stuff." _

_Bella didn't say anything. She just worked on a few math problems and I did the same until I heard some snickering and saw Jane looking at me and whispering to another girl. "Hey," I whispered to Bella. "That Jane girl, what's her problem?" _

"_Oh, she thinks she's cool because she has a big brother in high school. She's stupid though because half the class has big brothers or big sisters in high school so she's not special or anything." She dropped her voice lower and leaned in closer to me. "I heard my dad talking about her brother to my mom once though. He called him a loser pot-head." _

_We both started laughing until Mrs. Cope cleared her throat and looked right at us, shaking her head. "What does that even mean?" I finally whispered when Mrs. Cope looked away from us. _

_Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I've seen him with a hat on his head but not a pot. That would be really weird. I think their whole family is weird, though." _

"_Well, I'm glad I got to sit next to you instead of her." I said. _

_She just smiled at me. "Me too." _

_I never had friends that were girls before but Bella was cool. She walked with me to lunch and told me which lunches were good and which were totally gross. We'd just sat down at a table when a huge boy came and stood behind Bella. I thought he might be a junior high or high school kid but I didn't know what he was doing here. He scared the heck out of me, but Bella didn't even flinch when he covered her eyes with his humongous hands. _

"_Hey there Baby Bells, guess who?" _

_Bella pushed his hands away and turned to glare at the huge boy. "Ugh Emmett, knock it off." _

_He plopped down on the bench next to her and nudged his head in my direction. "Who's your friend?" _

"_This is Edward. He just moved here, from Seattle," she said and then took a big bite of her sandwich. _

_The guy she called Emmett looked at me, his eyes wide. "Serious? That's cool." _

"_Edward, this is my stupid brother Emmett." _

"_Uh, hi," I croaked out, still intimated by the hugeness of her brother. She was so little, I couldn't believe they were brother and sister._

"_So, Baby Bells, remember we gotta walk home today. You meet me out front by the flag pole, ok?" he said, snatching the apple off her tray and standing up. _

"_I remember. See you later Em." _

_I continued to stare at him as he walked away. "Your brother is huge! How old is he?" _

"_Eleven. He's in sixth grade."_

"_No way!" _

"_He's a freak of nature," she said with a laugh._

_As we ate, I told her about Alice and how lucky she was to have a big brother instead of a little sister. "Little sisters are so lame." _

"_I always wanted a little sister. Emmett is stinky and he eats, like, everything."_

"_Looks like it," I said and we both burst out laughing again. _

_After that, we always hung out together at every lunch and recess. By the end of the first week, my mom had met her mom in front of the school and they made plans for us to hang out outside of school. The next weekend, my mom drove me over to Bella's house. Her house was a little smaller than mine but they had a Super Nintendo. I'd begged my mom for one but she refused. She said I would rot my brain by playing it all the time. I think she made that up though because Bella played it and she was still plenty smart. _

_Bella's backyard was way cool too. They didn't have a fence like we did and her backyard just turned right into a forest. We weren't allowed to go too far into the woods but we could go back enough to play all sorts of cool games in the bushes and trees. It was way awesome. _

_The next weekend she came to my house. When she walked in her eyes got real huge. "I didn't know you were rich!" she said. _

"_I'm not." _

"_Yeah-huh. Your house is like, the biggest one I ever seen. You must think my house is dumb and little." _

_She looked sad and I didn't want her to be sad because of something stupid like a house. "No way, your house is way cooler! You guys have a Super Nintendo AND a regular Nintendo and your backyard is way more awesome than mine. Ours has a fence and it's all flowers and stupid stuff like that. I wish I had woods in my backyard. Plus, you have Emmett. He's way cooler to hang out with than my baby sister." _

"_Really?" _

"_Yeah! Come on, let's go play." _

_From then on Bella and I were always together. She was the coolest girl I'd ever met. She liked the same movies and stuff that I liked, not that girly princess crap that Alice liked. We played video games at her house and board games at my house. She always beat me at Operation but I was way better at Jenga than she was. _

_One day when it had snowed a lot we came in from building a snow fort and my mom made us hot cocoa and soup and then we watched some cartoons before I finally worked up the nerve to ask her the question I'd been wanting to ask. "Bella, will you be my best friend?" _

"_Duh, I thought I already was." She said and threw one of the little couch pillows at me. _

"_Oh, cool. So is it like official then?" _

"_I dunno? Last year Emmett and his best friend Garrett cut their fingers and smooshed them together to make them best friends. He said they were blood brothers or something like that." _

"_Ew, that's gross," I said. "I don't think that will work for us. We can't be blood brothers if you're a girl." _

"_Yeah, you're right. Plus, blood grosses me out. Hey, I went to my cousins wedding last year and they like made promises to each other to make them married. Maybe that would work?" _

"_You want to get married?" I didn't like that idea. I didn't want to get married ever. Bella was cool but other girls were totally dumb. _

"_No, that's gross," she said and squished her nose up. "I just think we could, like, say our own promises to each other like they did. Not marrying promises, just best friend promises." _

"_Oh, ok. We should say it and write it down so we can't forget."_

"_Good idea! Ok, I'll go first because I know how it's supposed to go." I nodded and sat up to face her as she started talking. "Ok, I, Isabella Marie Swan, you have to use your whole name or it doesn't count," she added and then started over. "I, Isabella Marie Swan promise to be Edward's best friend forever and ever, and I promise that I won't let that stupid Jane make fun of his hair and to never ever fight with him even when he eats the last cookie. Ok, it's your turn." _

"_Oh um, I, Edward Anthony Cullen, promise to be Bella's best friend forever and ever and to protect her from the stupid older boys when they call her clumsy and to let her beat me sometimes when we race even though I'm way faster. Oh and I promise I won't eat the last cookie anymore." _

_Bella smiled and held out her hand. "We have to shake to make it official." I took her hand and shook it a few times like I'd seen my dad do with people at the hospital. _

_Since Bella had better handwriting, she wrote down what we'd said on a piece of paper and we hid it in an old shoe box in my closet so it wouldn't get lost. I found a big black marker and wrote, 'Bella and Edward's box. Do Not Throw Away!' in big letters on the lid and sides. The folded paper looked so small in there by itself so we took the box downstairs and searched for things to add to it. Bella found some pictures that my mom had taken of us at Halloween and just playing around the house. We added those to the box and then shoved it back in the closet. _

"_Ok, so does that make us best friends forever now?" I asked, still not sure how this all worked. _

"_Yep, forever and ever." _

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><p>Would love to hear what you think!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Big thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, or faved. It's not much to some people, but I'm a newer writer and the response I've gotten already is amazing. Means the world to me!. The general consensus is that Edward needs to man up. LOL Can't say I disagree.

This chapter has a lot of back story in it. Originally, I had the flashbacks in italics but those parts are too big in this chapter and I thought that might be a pain to read. I just hope it's not too confusing. I just wanted to give a little insight into B & E's friendship.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**EPOV**

I couldn't stop myself from throwing open the box and searching through the photos for the little piece of paper I knew was in there somewhere. I found it at the very bottom and unfolded it carefully. Just the sight of Bella's blocky young handwriting made my heart clench. The twenty year old paper was a little delicate. It was beginning to come apart from being folded and unfolded so many times and the writing was starting to fade. I was suddenly terrified that I might lose this important memento of our friendship and hurried into my office. I carefully scanned the paper onto my computer so I'd at least always have a digital reminder. Then I carefully folded the original and placed it into a plastic Ziploc bag.

I returned to the living room and tucked the plastic bag back into the bottom of the box. I was just about to replace the lid when my eyes fell on another photo, jogging my memory once again.

_**May 2004**_

"Did she say yes?" Alice jumped from the couch as soon as I opened the front door and ran towards me. "She said yes, right?"

"Calm down Alice!" I said and shooed her away. "Of course she said yes."

"Who said yes, and to what?" My mother called from further inside the house.

I pushed past Alice ,who was inexplicably bouncing up and down in excitement, and followed the sound of my mother's voice as well as the smell of her cooking to the kitchen.

"I asked Jessica Stanley to go to the prom with me. She said yes." I explained, grabbing a cookie from the tray on the counter and plopping myself onto a barstool.

"That's so exciting," Alice cried. "I can't wait till I get to go to prom!"

"You asked Jessica Stanley?" Mom asked, her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh, nothing. She's a nice girl, I guess. I just, well, never mind." Mom mumbled and returned her attention to the bowl of cookie dough.

"Come on, spit it out mom." I insisted.

She sighed and set down her spatula, turning to face me. "I just always assumed that you'd go with Bella."

"Bella? How many times do I have to tell you, it's just not like that with us? I've known her forever mom. It would be weird. It would be like taking Alice."

"Ooh, you can take me! I won't even make you dance with me. I just want to go and get a new dress. I'd be like the only sophomore there and everyone would be so jealous." Alice was jumping up and down again.

"Can it Alice! There is no way in hell that I'm taking my sister to the prom. I'd be better off tattooing 'Loser' on my forehead."

"I know you and Bella don't see each other romantically but sometimes things change. The most happily married people I know were friends first." Mom turned back to her cookie dough while Alice made mocking silent kissy faces at me until I threw the last of my cookie at her.

"Mom, it's the prom, not marriage and I told you, Bella and I are not like that. She's still my best friend but she's got a boyfriend and I'm pretty sure he'd like to take her to the prom himself."

"Oh, she's still seeing that kid from the reservation?" Mom asked.

I nodded and grabbed another cookie to replace the one I'd lobbed at Alice. "Why do you sound surprised?"

"I just don't think they're right for each other. He's a bit younger than you two isn't he?"

"He's my age!" Alice shouted. "It's not fair! He's a sophomore and he gets to go to the prom and I don't? He doesn't even go to our school."

"He's going with Bella, that's why he gets to go." I said to Alice, exasperated with her and her prom obsession. "Why does it matter how old he is?" I asked mom.

"Well, normally I would say that it doesn't really matter, but the maturity levels at sixteen and eighteen are vastly different. It may work for now but I can't see them surviving much past graduation, especially with the two of you moving to Seattle."

"Yeah, we'll see. He is sorta annoying. He follows her around like a puppy."

"Aww," Alice sighed. "That's so romantic."

"No, it's a bit disgusting actually," I said, reaching for another cookie.

Mom laughed at Alice's reaction. "Sweetie, someday you'll realize that clingy men aren't as appealing as they sound. Knowing Bella, I can't imagine that she'll put up with that for too long."

"Alright, well I'm done talking about my best friend's love life. I've got homework to do. Thanks for the cookies, ma. They're way good."

I stood up and grabbed my backpack from the entryway where I'd dropped it and headed up to my room. I didn't really have homework. I was graduating in a matter of weeks and the teachers had basically given up on trying to make us do anything. I just needed to get away from Alice's over enthusiasm for absolutely everything and my mother's ridiculous attempts at matchmaking.

Bella and I had spent practically every moment together from second grade on until we reached junior high. That's when our parents decided that sleepovers were suddenly inappropriate. They were convinced that the onset of puberty would change our relationship from friendship to something more. They were wrong. The only time we ever came close was when we were thirteen and neither of us had had our first kiss yet. Bella was afraid of totally sucking at it and not knowing what to do. She didn't want to be embarrassed if she ever got the chance to kiss someone she really liked. I held a similar fear and so we decided that it was best to be each other's first kiss, just to get it out of the way. Then we could both say that we'd done it and it wouldn't be so intimidating.

We'd gone out into the woods behind her house, where we'd be hidden from the prying eyes of her mother. At the count of three, we both closed our eyes and leaned forward until our lips touched. It was strange, kind of wet, and more than a little awkward but nice enough. She promised me that I did just fine and I told her the same, not that either of us had any basis for comparison. Then we made a solemn vow not to tell anyone. Almost five years later, neither of us had told a soul. We'd never even mentioned it to each other ever again. I tossed my backpack to the floor and flopped onto my bed, unsure why I was even thinking about it now.

The next two weeks went by quickly. School was incredibly boring as the teachers simply supplied us with busy work each day. One day, I watched movies in at least four of my classes. It was getting a bit ridiculous, but my parents insisted that I had to keep going no matter how pointless it became.

I finally relented and agreed to let Alice come and help me pick out the corsage for Jessica, mainly so I wouldn't have to listen to her whine about it for the rest of my life. She also came along with me and Bella's boyfriend, Jacob, to pick out our tuxes. I thought they all looked basically the same so I let Alice have the final say on which one I should rent. Bella even let Alice come with her, Jessica, and her other friend, Angela, to pick out their dresses in Port Angeles. Bella had all but adopted Alice as her little sister and was much more patient with her exuberance than I was.

On the day of the prom, my mom declared that I absolutely had to come back to the house after picking up my date along with the rest of our group so she could take our pictures. I refused so she went over my head to Bella, who naturally agreed and then mom invited Bella's mother over to take pictures as well. We almost missed our dinner reservations because each mom took a zillion pictures in different locations of the house based on lighting and background. It was insane.

The dance went as expected, though I quickly realized that Jessica had probably not been the best choice. She was cute enough, but I didn't realize exactly how much she talked. Even as we danced, she would blather on about this or that. She nearly drove me crazy but I learned that the best way to shut her up was to kiss her and she was a good kisser, so my night improved after that.

Bella's brother, Emmett, agreed to come home for the weekend and chaperone our after party. Bella had somehow convinced her dad to let us use his hunting cabin for the party as long as we had adult supervision and apparently, Emmett counted. Emmett was twenty-two and agreed to buy us booze on the conditions that it was only a handful of kids and anyone who drank had to spend the night. He also maintained the right to cut off anyone at any time stating that he wasn't about to go down for some stupid high school kid killing someone while drunk driving or giving themselves alcohol poisoning. He didn't do it purely out of the goodness of his heart though. Other than Bella and I, and our dates, Emmett collected a cover fee from everyone else to pay for his 'services'. Bella told me he was saving up for some summer road trip with his buddies and apparently one night of babysitting drunk kids was easier than getting a real job. Of course, we were all so excited to have some place to party that we would have agreed to anything he asked.

So, after the prom we all ended up in an old, dingy cabin doing shots and laughing our asses off. Well, all of us except Bella and Jacob. They'd hung around for a few minutes and had a few drinks but at some point they'd slipped away. I figured they'd decided to be totally cliché and lose their virginity once and for all right here on prom night. I'd been teasing Bella for months about waiting so long. I mean, hell, we were leaving for college in a few months.

I'd lost mine the previous summer to Heidi Curtis. We hadn't been dating or anything, and I didn't particularly like her, but Bella had been out of town and I'd been bored enough to attend one of Tyler Crowley's random parties. I'd gotten drunk and woken up next to Heidi the next morning. She and I continued to hook-up randomly throughout the summer but I called it off just before school started when I found out she'd also slept with most of the boys in our class. I'd never been more thankful for the awkward conversation I'd had with my dad a year before in which he graphically explained, with pictorial evidence, all the medical reasons one should wear a condom before thrusting an entire handful of them into my hands.

At the party, I briefly considered trying to hook-up with Jessica but she was the first of us to pass out so that plan was shot all to hell. As soon as Emmett cut everyone off from the alcohol, the couples paired off either to sleep or to find a quiet place to hook-up. I was a little tipsy and nursing my last beer, a perk of knowing the 'man in charge', but I wasn't ready for bed. It was warm out so I stepped on to the large deck in the back for some fresh air.

I was only outside for a few minutes when I heard small muffled sobs from the corner of the deck. It was dark and I had to steady myself against the railing as I made my way over but by the time I'd reached the source of the noise, my eyes had adjusted enough to see a small form sitting against the wall of the cabin. Bella was still wearing her prom dress but with a large UW hoodie over the top of it. She was curled into a ball with her head buried in her arms and she was crying hard enough that she didn't hear me approach.

"B? What's up? What are you doing out here?" I asked quietly, sliding down to sit next to her.

Her head jerked up at the sound of my voice and I saw her face streaked with tears and makeup. "What are you doing out here?"

"I asked first." I pointed out. She hesitated so I went ahead and answered her question. "Everyone else is sleeping or well, you know. I wanted some air."

"I thought you'd be off with Jessica." She said, still avoiding my initial question.

I sighed. "Yeah, well, Jessica can't hold her liquor. Besides, did you know she talked so much? I thought Ali was bad but, Jesus, this girl has her beat, hands down. It's not anything important or interesting either! Just mindless fucking chatter. "

Bella laughed lightly and I smiled, glad to have made her feel a little better if only for a second. "I coulda told you that but I didn't figure you were asking her out for her conversational skills. I figured you were just out to get some."

"Oh, the thought crossed my mind but I think she would probably during that too and that's not terribly appealing."

There was another small laugh and the faintest hint of a smile. "She probably would."

"Ok, B, what's going on?" I asked, having let her stall long enough.

She wiped the tears away with the corner of her sweater and took a deep breath. "Jake and I got in a fight."

"Well, duh. Why?"

"It's embarrassing." She moaned.

"Bell, you've seen me run through the sprinklers in Spiderman undies. I think we're beyond embarrassment."

That earned me a rather hearty chuckle. Mission accomplished. She exhaled and looked away. "Ok, well he wanted us to, you know, do it tonight. I told him I'd think about it but then, I just didn't want to. I don't know why. I just don't think I'm ready for that, not with him anyways, maybe not with anyone right now. But, when I told him, he got really mad. He said I was a tease and then he said, well, nevermind."

"What else did he say, Bella?" I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was ready to jump up and hunt Jake down. I knew he had to be around here somewhere still since Emmett had confiscated everyone's keys. However, Bella was my friend and she needed me here more than I needed to beat Jacob Black's ass. Jake could wait.

"He said something about you." She said quietly, still looking away.

"Me? What the hell did I do?" I said in surprise and anger before forcing myself to calm down and listen. "Ok, well just tell me what the asshole said."

"He said I just wouldn't sleep with him because I was already fucking you. Then he said he didn't want your sloppy seconds anyways and then he took off." Her tears began falling faster and she wiped them away furiously with the end of her sweater which was already stained with mascara and eye shadow.

"That little fucking prick!" I growled. "I'm going to kick his ass. Where'd he go?" I started scanning the tree line hoping to make out any movement in the dark forest.

"I promise, E, I've told him a million times that we're totally not like that." Bella pleaded apologetically which only made me madder. She didn't have shit to apologize for.

"I don't give a fuck what he thinks. It doesn't give him the right to say that shit to you." I took a small sip of my beer and then handed it to Bella. "Here, you probably need this more than I do and your brother hid the rest of them."

With a small smile, Bella took the bottle and downed the contents in one pull. "Thanks."

"No prob."

Bella yawned quietly and laid her head on my shoulder. I tiled my head, letting it rest on hers as we sat in comfortable silence looking out into the dark forest for a few minutes until we felt the first few drops signaling the rain to come.

"Guess that means it's time to go inside." Bella said, lifting her head and wiping her eyes once more.

I stood and held out my hand, helping her off the floor. "Anything comfortable has probably all been taken but let's go see if we can find somewhere to pass out."

She followed me into the house where sure enough the few beds were very much occupied. Emmett was still awake but on his way to bed, having claimed the master bedroom as part of his price for babysitting. He was a little surprised to see Bella with a tear stained face and without Jake. He opened his mouth to say something but I shook my head at him from behind Bella's back, signaling for him to drop it. He did, but shot me a look letting me know that we'd be talking about it later. That was alright with me, I'd be happy to have his help when I had my little chat with Jacob, but I didn't want to upset Bella again when she'd just barely stopped crying.

I heard Emmett offer to share the bed with Bella but she declined claiming that she was too old to share a bed with her brother. It wasn't until he'd shrugged and retreated to the bedroom that Bella confided her real reason for declining.

"Em farts like nobody's business in his sleep. I don't think I'd survive the night in there," she said with a laugh.

We lucked out and found a couch and a loveseat that were unoccupied. Bella found some blankets in a linen closet and tossed me one before curling up on the loveseat. I grabbed a few throw pillows and clicked off the small table lamp before settling in for the night.

"Hey, E?" Bella's small voice whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks again, for tonight, for being my best friend." Her voice cracked a little and I was worried she would start crying again.

"Forever and ever, B."

**Present**

_Forever and ever. _I snorted at the thought. It had been our motto but where had it gotten us? Any minute now she'd be walking down an aisle making a similar vow to someone else. A vow that would supersede the innocent promises we'd made as children. My forever and ever was ending right now.

As I held the photo, I noticed another one stuck to it. I pulled the two apart and set the prom photo back in the box. My heart nearly stopped as I cradled the other small photo in my hand. It was another from prom, a more candid shot, but it was actually this very photo that made me finally realize my feelings for Bella.

_**March 2007**_

I walked home from my last final for the quarter, thrilled to be finished, but stressing over the particularly grueling test. This quarter had been tough and I was more than looking forward to a quiet week of no school before classes started up again for spring.

However, it became apparent as soon as I turned onto my street that a quiet night wasn't in the cards for me, not tonight anyways. The small house I shared with Bella was full of light, loud music and quite possibly a million people.

"Goddammit!" I muttered to myself as I approached the house, my dreams of quiet quickly evaporating.

Bella and I were known to host a party or two but we always ok'ed it with each other first. I really wasn't upset as much as I was worried. Bella had been through hell the last few weeks and I worried that this party was just an excuse for her to overindulge and run away from her pain. Something she'd been doing a lot of lately, not that I could blame her.

For most of freshman year, Bella had been a huge homebody. She went to class, work, and home. She studied her ass off and avoided any social activity bigger than a cup of coffee with friends. She flat out refused to date at all until she was paired with a guy named Riley for one of her class projects. Their study sessions developed into actual dates and they became quite serious. He seemed nice enough but something about him always seemed a little off. I couldn't put my finger on it so I'd kept my mouth shut.

Bella later confessed over several beers that Riley had also been a virgin. They'd gotten drunk one night and decided they were both finally ready to lose their virginity. It took a few more beers but she eventually told me that he'd only managed two or three thrusts before completely losing his erection and then leaving as quickly as humanly possible. Afterwards, she said he started avoiding her and acting weird until he finally came to her and admitted that he was gay. He'd grown up in a very strict religious home and been unwilling to admit his sexuality, even to himself. He genuinely loved Bella and hoped that love would be enough to 'change' him. It took their disastrous attempt at sex for him to admit who he really was. Bella, being a better person than I'll ever be, immediately forgave him, had a good laugh about it and remained very good friends with Riley.

After that debacle, Bella reinstated her 'no dating' rule and it lasted up until six months ago when she met Mike. Michael Newton was a business major who Bella met while working at the library. She resisted him for as long as she could but I had to hand it to him, the guy was persistent. After a solid week of daily flower deliveries, Bella finally agreed to go out on a date with him. I thought he was just another frat boy asshole, but he seemed to be completely enamored of Bella. They were practically inseparable after that first date, if only because Mike followed her around like a puppy. It was Jake all over again and all I could do was hope that it wouldn't end as badly.

Around the same time I'd been seeing my old prom date, Jessica Stanley, off and on. We'd bumped into each other in the library one day and went out for coffee to reminisce, mostly because Jess didn't stop talking long enough for me to decline. Coffee turned into drinks which turned into the two of us drunkenly stumbling back to her dorm room where I discovered that I had been right about her all those years ago. Jessica continued to talk a blue streak, even in bed, though there it evolved into the kind of dirty talk that could put Emmett, and most sailors, to shame. As irritating as she was in person, I couldn't help but be extremely turned on by her filthy mouth.

To my surprise, Jess was as reluctant to pursue anything serious as I was and we fell into the perfect relationship. One where we could hook-up when we felt like it and then go our separate ways. It was fan-fucking-tastic! That is, until Bella and I found Jessica and Mike half naked and seconds away from fucking each other at a friend's party. For my own part, I could care less, as Jess and I were never more than fuck-buddies and certainly not exclusive. Bella, however, was devastated. She'd given her heart to Mike and thought she held his in return only to have hers stomped on and put in a blender.

She was putting on a brave face for the rest of her friends, spouting off about how much better she would be without him and having huge bonfires where she incinerated everything he'd ever given her. But, I saw her when her guard was down and knew how much she was hurting. His betrayal had caught her completely off guard, which only increased her hurt. I listened to her crying in her room at night, my own heart breaking to hear her in such pain. It only took one night of wiping away her tears before I called up Emmett and, once again, we paid a little visit to guy who'd dared break Bella's heart.

As I entered the house, scanning the front room for any sign of Bella, I couldn't help but recall what she'd said to me just a few days ago.

"Ya know, you got the right idea, E," she'd said as I walked in one night after work. She was curled up on the couch, wine bottle in hand watching crappy reality shows with the volume turned down.

I took the bottle away, took a big swig and set it on the coffee table as I sat next to her on the couch. "What idea is that?"

"Keeping it light. Messin' round with no relationships. Who needs that shit. Not me! Nope, think I'll just mess round like you do. No muss, no fuss,"

Is that what this party was about? An excuse to 'mess around'? Over my dead body.

I headed straight to the kitchen, knowing it was the best place to look for Bella. Sure enough, she and a group of her English major friends were congregating around a large bottle of tequila. Bella was slicing up limes for shots. As soon as she saw me Bella dropped the knife. I barely had enough time to drop my bag before she launched herself into my arms.

"Yay! You're home. Happy end of finals!" she yelled earned a cheer from the crowd.

"Oh so we're celebrating?" I asked carefully, setting her back down. She appeared to be in a better mood than I'd seen her in for a while now but the tequila was probably responsible for that.

"Duh! How was your test?" She went back to slicing her limes as she spoke.

I shrugged, unsure myself. "I think I did ok, but who knows? I probably failed."

"Shut up, you never fail. You're a genius, you'll be fine. Here," she thrust a lime wedge into my hand, "have a shot with me."

Knowing she wouldn't quit until I did, I complied, licking the back of my hand and sprinkling the salt on as Bella poured the tequila. I waited until she was ready and we slammed our shots together. I normally wasn't a fan of tequila but one shot wouldn't kill me.

"How many have you had?" I asked casually, not wanting to sound like a nag but needing to know what I was looking at here tonight.

"Oh, that was the first but Ang and I had a beer before everyone showed up. You got here just in time."

This was welcome news. She wasn't drunk yet and now that I was here I could keep an eye on her. I wasn't going to let her make a mistake that she would regret when she was in a better state of mind. Another round of shots was poured but I declined, opting instead for a beer that I could nurse for most of the night. I couldn't keep an eye on her if I was drunk as well.

Bella was stubborn and there would be hell to pay if she suspected that I was babysitting her so I wandered into the living room where I'd spotted a few of my own friends. I could carry on a conversation with them but still keep an eye on Bella.

I was pleased as the night went on that Bella seemed content to stick with her small group of friends, laughing and doing shots. I'd relaxed quite a bit and was working on my third beer when I saw Bella enter the living room and begin dancing with some guy I'd never seen before. I suppressed a sudden urge to jump up and rip this guy off of her and reminded myself that he actually hadn't done anything wrong yet. The two of them drunkenly danced to a loud upbeat song, laughing and tripping over each other's feet.

When the music slowed, the guy pulled her towards him and I was surprised by the low growl that rumbled in my chest. I was about to jump out of my seat when Bella pulled away and went back to the kitchen to retrieve a couple of beers. I saw her stumble a few times and made a mental note to try and get her to drink some water before she went to bed or else she was going to be beyond miserable in the morning.

Dancer boy seemed content to chat with Bella as the two drank their beers though I caught him trying to look down her shirt each time she leaned forward and before long I was ready to stab him in the eyes. That would teach the little shit not to be so disrespectful.

The music changed again and Bella began to dance again, bolstered by even more liquid courage. They danced for a few more minutes though this time Bella didn't pull away when he put his hands on her. She allowed this loser to pull her into his arms and hold her against him. My blood was boiling. She was clearly inebriated and this guy was just using that to his advantage.

"Dude, you alright there?" My friend Liam asked, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

I turned in surprise, having forgotten that he was there. "What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Yeah? Cause it looks like you're about to go all ape-shit on that guy feeling up your girl."

"She's not my girl," I muttered and turned my attention back to Bella where sure enough, loser-dancer boy was allowing his hand to slip lower and lower. Another growl escaped my lips.

"Sure, Edward, keep telling yourself that." Liam chuckled to himself but I couldn't hear him as I watched Bella whisper something in Fancy Feet's ear and then began pulling him by his hand down the hall towards her room.

Oh hell no!

I leapt from my seat and grabbed the guy by the back of his shoulders. He spun around to face, his face a mixture of anger and surprise. "What the fuck, man?"

"Where the fuck you going?" I seethed.

"None of your God-damned business." He spat.

"The fuck it isn't! This is my house."

"It's my house too, Edward!" Bella hissed, turning on me.

Twinkle Toes turned to gape at her, clearly surprised by this news as his eyes darted between us. "You both live here? Is he…"

"No!" Bella insisted, cutting off his questions at the knees. "We're just friends. He's my roommate."

"And I'll be damned if I left my best friend get taken advantage of!" I roared.

"I'm a big girl, E! I do what I want." Bella said, turning on her heel to face me but nearly falling over her own feet in the process. I caught her just as she began to fall but she fought against me. "I don need you to save me!"

"Really? Kinda looks like you do," I retorted, setting her on her feet as she scowled at me.

"Why don't you let the lady speak for herself?" Loser-boy said, coming to stand between me and Bella.

"She's fucking drunk, she can't speak for herself right now. By the way, her dad is a cop, did she tell you that?" He looked confused so I continued on, making things a little more clear for his simple brain. "I'm sure he'd love to hear about you taking advantage of his daughter while she was unable to give informed consent."

His eyes widened as he ran through the implications of what I was saying. "I got him on speed-dial," I continued, pulling out my phone for effect. "Wanna ask him?

"You wouldn't fucking dare!" Bella yelled.

"Oh yeah, B, I would."

Tiny Dancer looked from me to Bella and back to me before tossing up his hands in defeat. "Alright man, I'm out. We're cool."

He turned to leave and I called after him. "Hey, take a cab or something. Don't you fucking dare drive out of here!"

Liam had come up behind me during my argument with Bella and Fred Astaire and placed a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Look, I'll wrap this party up and get our friend here into a cab. Why don't you and Bella take your argument somewhere a little more private?"

Bella was glaring at me as she swayed on her feet. After thanking Liam, I grabbed her firmly by the elbow and pulled her towards her bedroom. Once behind closed doors, she whirled on her feet, nearly falling over in the process and smacked me on the chest.

"What the fuck is your problem, Edward?" She snarled.

"I could ask you the same," I retorted.

"I was jus gonna have fun but, nooo, you gotta cockblock me. Thought you was my friend."

I couldn't help but think that she looked cute angry, like a mad, little puppy.

"I am, that's why I'm not gonna let you do something you'll regret, B."

She huffed and flopped back onto her bed. "Why d'ya think you know what I'll regret?"

"I know you better than anyone and I know that tomorrow you'll be thanking me!"

"Thank you for what? Scaring away another guy? "

"He was going to take advantage of you!"

She exhaled loudly in frustration and threw up her hands. "It's always something with you. He's too young, too clingy, too…gay!"

"Riley was gay!" I roared. "That's a fact! He said so himself. You wanna date gay guys? Go for it! Might get a little frustrating, but hey, have at it. Good luck! But, for the record, I have been right about every single one of your boyfriends."

"Is not just them," she said with a sigh. "You scare off any guy I talk to."

"I do not."

"Yeah huh, you show up and they think you're my boyfriend and you jus let 'em believe it."

What was she talking about? "I do not! I just don't feel like I need to explain our friendship to every random person we talk to."

"S'actly! You just let 'em all think I'm taken cause you don't wanna share me."

"What?"

"S'ok for you to bang everyone in sight but not me, oh no, Bells can't have fun too. Sexist pig!"

"You're drunk, Bella! If you were sober and wanted to bang some random dude, it would be different."

As soon as I said the words, I knew they weren't true. Just the idea of her hooking up with some random guy, drunk or sober, made my blood boil. But why? Maybe I was a sexist pig?

"S'not true. Look, jus quit tryin to be my boyfriend or my dad. You're sposed to be my friend."

"B, I am your friend!"

"Whatever," she said and kicked off her shoes before crawling under her covers. "I'ma go to bed since I can't have fun."

"Can I get you some water? You'll be hungover."

"Just go away!" She mumbled into her pillow.

Wordlessly, I turned and left, ignoring the sounds of the party still breaking up down the hall and headed for my room. Bella's words were swimming in my head. She accused me of trying to be her boyfriend. It was absurd, wasn't it? She was my oldest friend. I was just worried about her safety, right? Yeah, she had a point about me not liking any of the guys she dated, but only because she dated losers. None of them were remotely good enough for her, that's all.

Suddenly, I couldn't help but wonder why it bothered me so much to hear her talking about sex. We used to talk about it all the time, hell, we joked about it constantly for most of our teenage years. Now, hearing her talk about sleeping with someone else caused me actual physical pain. When did that start happening? It just didn't make any sense.

I paced my room, pulling at the roots of my hair in frustration. On my second lap, my eyes settled on a picture sitting on my desk. It was a candid shot of Bella and I just outside the prom, taken by a friend of mine who was taking photos for the yearbook. Neither of our dates was present in the picture, which was probably why I'd kept it on display for so long.

In the picture Bella was wearing a rich blue dress with a small white cardigan. Her hair was pulled back a little, falling in soft curls over her shoulders and I realized for the first time just how beautiful she'd looked that night. The photo had been taken just after Bella caught her heel on who knows what and nearly fell on her face. I can't remember where Jake had been at that moment but she'd gripped my hand and insisted I help her navigate the rest of the outdoor terrain until she could reach the more level, and heel friendly, flooring of the gym.

We'd been laughing over her clumsiness when the picture was taken and we looked so casual and happy. As I stared at the photo, I noticed for the first time how much we looked like a couple. What struck me more was how much I liked the sound of that. How I suddenly wished that she had been my date to the prom. Wait, what?

There was a strange tugging in my chest as I looked at Bella in that photo and then it hit me. The reason I hated any guy who looked twice at Bella, the reason I couldn't bring myself to even think of dating anyone seriously, and the reason my chest seemed to pound almost painfully when I thought of her.

_Oh shit!_

I was in love with Bella

* * *

><p>So, just a little glimpse into twenty years of friendship but if you don't enjoy the flashbacks, I promise there's only a couple here in the beginning.<p>

I felt guilty that this chapter doesn't move the present story along much so I'm going to post chapter 3 a little later today for those of you that want to hear a little more from lovesick, present-day Edward. .


	3. Chapter 3

Here we go, as promised. A chapter that's a little more in the present. Let's see what our poor boy is up to.

Thanks again to everyone who's reading. Means the world to me.

Mistakes are mine and I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

**EPOV**

**Present**

After that night in college, I couldn't continue to look at that picture day in and day out. It stayed up for only a week before I pulled it out of the frame and shoved it into the photo box. I hadn't seen the photo since, but here it was, hidden underneath all these other photos for so long. I gave it one long look and then placed it on the table.

I glanced at the clock as I headed to the kitchen for another beer, five thirty. _Fuck_. In only thirty minutes my Bella would be joining her life with someone else and I had stood by and let it happen. It felt as though my heart had been torn from my chest and I had no one to blame but myself. I'd dug my own grave.

For seven years I'd waited, waited for the right time, waited for a sign that maybe she felt the same. Waited to find the right words to say to her, the right way to tell her how I felt. Seven years of watching her go out on dates with other men. Seven years of having her so close and yet never close enough. I was just a coward. I was too damn scared that telling her how I felt would change everything. I didn't want to lose her friendship. I couldn't lose her friendship. Like I'd told Jasper, I'd rather have her in my life as just my friend than not at all.

However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that Jasper was probably right. It was more a fear of rejection than anything else. If I never told her, I would never have to hear her say that she didn't feel the same. If she never said those words, never confirmed my fears, it was easier for me to pretend that someday I'd be able to make her mine.

Now, here I was less than half an hour away from losing her anyway. By the end of the day she would be a married woman and it would change everything. I wasn't a fool. I knew James well enough to know that he barely tolerated my presence as it was. Once married, our late night movie marathons would become nonexistent. Our afternoon coffee dates would lessen and our Friday night beers after a long week would become inappropriate.

She wouldn't come to me when she needed friendly advice or a shoulder to cry on anymore. I wouldn't be the first person she called when she got good news or had a funny story to share. Nope, that honor belonged to someone else now.

I knew how this would play out. Our interactions would become fewer and further in-between because even in this day and age, it still raises a few eyebrows for a married woman to maintain a close friendship with a straight, single man. It wouldn't matter that we had twenty years of history, from here on out I would be reduced to random emails and group events like birthday parties as if I was some casual acquaintance. Once they had kids, I would be all but out of the picture. I'd just be Uncle Edward who sent presents at Christmas and gave piggy back rides at summer barbeques.

I let my head fall back against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling, pondering this future. If I couldn't stomach attending the wedding how could I handle seeing them create a life together? How could I watch her belly swell with his child when they decided to have kids? The thought alone made my stomach roil and burn.

Maybe it was time to leave Seattle. I could go to Los Angeles like I'd always wanted. I could start a new life there; try to get some film work. When I received my Masters in Music Composition, I'd hoped it was my first step to becoming the next John Williams. Instead, I found myself lingering around Seattle creating music for the video game developers in the area. It was decent work, it paid the bills, and I was able to do most of it from home but it could be redundant and was not always fulfilling, creatively speaking.

I'd stuck around Seattle to be close to my family and close to Bella and that had always made it ok. Now everything was changing and I couldn't help but feel that maybe I was no longer needed here. Bella was about to be married. Her brother, Emmett, had met his Rosalie in college, married her soon after graduation and now they had a little family of their own. He hadn't told me as much but I got the feeling that Jasper was on the verge of asking my sister to marry him. Everyone was pairing off and moving on. Everyone except for me. Not that I hadn't tried.

A couple of years ago I'd met a girl named Tanya. She was very pretty with strawberry blonde hair and was tall and thin. She'd pursued me for months before I finally caved and agreed to a date, mostly at Bella's insistence that I 'get out there and find myself a nice girl'. She'd just started to date James and was eager for me to find someone to 'double with'. Tanya was nice enough, beautiful, and very sweet. We actually had a decent time on our date so I agreed to another. After all, there really was nothing wrong with her. She was exactly the type of girl I should want to be with. Why shouldn't we work?

We dated casually for a couple months. I'd hoped with all my heart that she could be the one. That with a little time I'd grow to love her more than Bella. It would have made everything so much easier. Tanya and Bella got along well and maybe if I was attached, James wouldn't be such an asshole to me because he wouldn't feel threatened by my relationship with Bella. The four of us could have gone out to dinner and arranged play dates for our future children. It would have been perfect.

Except it wasn't perfect. Ultimately, I realized that I was being unfair to Tanya. I liked her fine and enjoyed her company but when she admitted that she was falling for me, I broke it off as gently as I could, telling her that I simply couldn't be the man she needed me to be. She didn't understand, insisting that I was everything in a man that she'd ever wanted. I couldn't admit to her that I was in love with someone else so I just kept reiterating that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. She cried and cried, promising me that she could wait until I was ready but I held strong, repeating over and over again that she deserved better than me as she sobbed into her hands.

I'd never felt like a bigger asshole in my life. That is, up until just a week ago, when I finally informed Bella that I would not be attending her wedding.

**One week before**

From the moment she announced her engagement, I'd been wrestling with my feelings on the subject. She and James had been dating for a long time but I'd honestly never believed it would get to this point. He was a complete douche nozzle and I was sure that in time Bella would come to realize that.

Now as the wedding approached I found myself conflicted. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to support my best friend. But, I didn't think I could stand there and fake a smile while my heart was being crushed. I couldn't trust myself not to say anything when they asked if anyone objected. I objected and I had a million reasons why they shouldn't be married but they were all selfish reasons and the idea that I might possibly ruin her day was what finally clinched the deal for me. I wouldn't go. I couldn't do that to myself and I wouldn't risk hurting her like that. She might forgive me for not coming to the wedding, but she would never forgive me for ruining it.

The only thing left was to tell Bella that I wouldn't be there. I drove to the house she shared with James, waiting for a time when I knew he wouldn't be around and knocked on the door, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Hey, Edward!" she said as she opened the door. She gave me a hugged and then led me into the living room. "This is a surprise. What brings you by?"

"Well, I was going out for coffee and just decided I'd bring you some."

She eyed me suspiciously as she took the steaming cup I offered to her. I didn't blame her. I was not the surprise pop-in kind of friend.

"Can we talk?" I asked nervously, motioning towards the couch.

"Uh sure," she said, taking a seat. "What's up?"

Her face was so calm and beautiful that I came very close to confessing my feelings at that moment. I allowed myself a moment to imagine her reaction. I would confess my love and she would leap into my arms, telling me that she always felt the same before kissing me. James would come home and she'd tell him the wedding was off and the two of us would ride off into the sunset.

Then I saw the boxes filled with wedding favors and piles of bridal magazines with pages folded in. Bella caught me looking and laughed.

"Ridiculous isn't it? All this work for one day? Thank God I have Alice because I wouldn't know what the hell to do on my own."

"I still can't believe you gave Alice full reign over this," I said, pushing away my ridiculous daydreams.

"Well, I trust her and I know she's much better at this, so why not. You know how James's family is. They wanted the big church wedding and I don't even know where to begin planning something like that."

I listened politely but all I was hearing was what everyone else wanted for her wedding. I wanted to ask her what it was that she wanted but it would be pointless. This was typical Bella, putting everyone else first. At the same time, I could still hear the excitement in her voice, dissolving all thoughts I'd had of declaring my love. It was clear that ship had sailed a long time ago and I'd missed the boat.

"Yeah, well that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about."

"The wedding?" she asked, confused.

I nodded and set my cup down on the coffee table. "Bella, I've thought a lot about this and I can't come to the wedding."

She was taken aback. "Why? What's going on? Did something come up? I mean you've known the date for a long time now. Are you seriously telling me you have something else to do that day?"

"No, I don't have anything else to do that day. I just can't come, that is, I won't come."

"Excuse me?"

I knew that tone of voice and I let out a large breath, steeling myself up for the anger that was about to explode out of her. "I can't do it, B. I can't support you, not in this."

"What? Why?"

"He's not the guy, B. I don't like him, I don't trust him, and I can't support you marrying him," I said quickly, getting it all out before I could change my mind. "I just can't do it."

She'd set her cup down next to mind and was on her feet, standing over me. "Are you fucking serious? Are we really doing this again?"

"You know how I feel about him," I said quietly, staring at my coffee, unable to look up at her.

She snorted loudly. "Of course I do. It's the same way you've felt about every guy I've ever dated."

"And I maintain that I was right about most of them!"

"Yeah, well James and I have been together for three fucking years, Edward. Three years! We've been living together for a year now and he's done nothing to deserve your suspicion or dislike."

"That we know of," I muttered under my breath but not quietly enough.

"What was that?"

Shit. I didn't mean to say that out loud. "I said he hasn't done anything wrong that we know of."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Her eyes narrowed at me and then widened as she processed my statement. "Wait, do you know something?"

"Nothing," I admitted honestly. "I don't know anything. It's just a gut feeling I have. He's bad news and he's going to hurt you. I just know it. He's not a good guy, Bella, and you're not the same with him."

"Oh my God!" she yelled, throwing up her hands in frustration. "This isn't about him at all! This is about you being freaked out about everyone growing up and moving on with their lives."

"What? No."

"Yes it is. You also freaked when I moved out of our place but Edward, we're almost thirty. We can't keep living together like we're still in college, getting drunk and screwing around. It's time to grow up and settle down."

"It's not like that!"

"Really? Then what happened to LA? I've done nothing but listen to you tell me that you wanted to compose for films and yet, you're still hanging around here making up silly tunes for video games. You're better than that."

"So what?" I exclaimed, feeling a little defensive. "My family is here, it pays decent and I get to do most of it from home. You gotta start somewhere, B. What, you think I'll just move to LA and immediately get work with Universal or Paramount? That right away they're going to someone unknown compose for a huge film and I'll just start winning Oscars? I'm building a portfolio. Plus, I did that independent film last year and it went to Sundance! It's not like I'm not trying."

"Ok, fine," she huffed, "but what about your personal life? I still don't understand what happened between you and Tanya. She was gorgeous and smart and she loved you Edward! She really loved you and she still does," She said, lowering her voice to almost a whisper.

_Woah, where did that come from?_ "And how would you know that?" I asked, raising my eyebrow in question.

She exhaled loudly and flopped back onto the couch. "I ran into her last week and we ended up going for a drink."

"You did what?"

"She was my friend, Edward! At least she was until your stupid ass dumped her for absolutely no reason and then suddenly she was gone. Poof, out of my life and with no warning."

"Is that what she told you? That I dumped her for no reason?"

Bella shook her head and picked up her coffee. "No, she wouldn't tell me what happened between you two. She seemed really hurt about it. Still, after all these years I could see it, Edward. When we talked about you, I could see it in her eyes. There is still love there."

"I couldn't be the man she wanted. I cared for her but not the way she needed. She deserved better than I could offer and that's why I called it off."

Bella took another sip, staring at me pensively over the rim of her cup. "Hmm," she finally said after a few moments silence. "Well, I just don't know what to say to that."

"It was only fair, Bella. I couldn't string her along and let her believe we were something we weren't."

"I guess that's true, but you're in a different place in your life now. Maybe it's worth another shot?"

I shook my head. "No, B. I'm not gonna do that to her all over again."

"I still don't get it," she mumbled.

I sighed loudly. "She's just not the one for me."

"Then who is?"

_You are!_ I screamed silently in my mind but my heart had already given up and closed itself off so I simply shrugged my shoulders.

"So you're really not coming?" she asked, not bothering to mask the hurt in her voice.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, B. I just can't. Look, I pray that I'm wrong and he always treats you the way you deserve but I don't trust him and I can't be there for it."

"You're a selfish fucking prick," she muttered. Her eyes were being to glisten with the tears to come and I almost caved. I hated that I was bringing her pain.

"Yes, I know," I said, standing up and heading for the door. "But I'm still your best friend."

"Forever and ever," she finished sadly for me as I walked out.

**Present**

I groaned and tugged at the ends of my hair. Despite some music playing in the background, I could hear the ticking of the large clock on the wall. The sound was maddening. Each thud of the clock's hand counting down the seconds until Bella was a married woman and lost to me forever. Without thinking, I leapt off the couch and practically ripped the clock from the wall. I flipped it over and yanked the batteries from their small enclosure and tossed them to the floor. The ticking was blissfully ended and I was free to return to my place on the couch, resuming my wallowing without the deafening countdown.

I reached for my beer and my eyes fell on the box on the table, a small square picture catching my eye. It was a picture of Bella and me on the morning of my twentieth birthday. For someone who absolutely hated celebrating her own birthday, Bella loved to make a big deal out of everyone else's. That morning she woke up early and made me my favorite foods for breakfast before bursting into my room, camera in hand, and jumped into my bed.

"Smile," she had said, her tiny frame shook the entire bed as she jumped up and down pulling me from my contented slumber. She dropped onto the bed next to me and laid her head next to mine on the pillow before raising the camera above us. "Welcome to your twenties!" she cried as she snapped a photo.

The picture she had taken had been awful. I'd been still half-asleep, with squinty, confused eyes and she'd cut off half her own face. I plucked the camera from her hands and deleted the horrible photo insisting that I at least deserved a decent pic for my birthday. The second photo, the one I had taken, was much better. That was the photo I now held in my hands.

At the time it had been all in good fun and I'd yet to develop or recognize my feelings for Bella. We were just two friends lying innocently in bed. Now, this picture served as another reminder of everything I couldn't have. Everything that could have been, maybe in another life. My heart ached at the sight of her beauty nestled against my shirtless chest. To anyone who didn't know us, who didn't know better, we looked just like a young couple in love.

The rational side of my brain tried to convince me to put the picture back in the box and to put the entire box back in the closet where it belonged. However, the alcohol I'd consumed was siding with my broken heart and I continued to stare at that picture, my eyes growing misty with tears I'd been holding in for years. Outside I heard a clap of thunder as rain began to pelt my windows. It was as if the heavens had opened up, choosing to cry along with me.

I might have stared at that one picture all night long if the sound of someone knocking on my front door hadn't pulled me from my misery. I glanced at the wall, searching for the time before remembering that I'd just dismantled the clock. It didn't matter, I knew in my heart that at this very moment, Bella was standing in front of a priest, beautiful in a white dress, saying her vows to another man. Everyone I knew would be sitting there in attendance.

"Goddamn it!" I cursed as I rose off the couch. I stomped to the door, ready to give this intruder a piece of my mind. I threw it open angrily and then froze.

I was completely unprepared for what met me at the door.

* * *

><p>Oh no, a cliffie! Feel free to tell me how much I suck. Or who you think is at the door. Or, what a coward Edward is. Happy to hear it all.<p>

FYI, from here on out we'll remain fairly rooted in the present. See you Wednesday!


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone who continues to support my little story. You guys are awesome.

As always, mistakes are my own and I own nothing but today I think we'll hear from someone else.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**BPOV**

"Alright Bells, I think we're done." Alice chirped, placing the last bobby pin into my hair. "I'm going to go get your mom. I'll be right back."

I turned and looked into the mirror as Alice stepped out of the room. I barely recognized myself. My hair had been pulled back into a mass of curls that cascaded down past my shoulders. My dress was beautiful; strapless with what Alice called a sweetheart neckline. The bodice was form fitting and heavily beaded down to the waist where it flared out into a ball gown skirt with several layers of satin rouched and gathered. The effect was quite dramatic; though a little more elaborate than I would have normally chosen. _ Ok, a lot more. _

Dress shopping had been an adventure, to say the least. My mother had very distinct ideas for her only daughter's wedding. She'd invited James' mother, Mary, along since she was about to be family and I'd brought Alice along both for her fashion sense and to help me survive a day out with my mother and future mother-in-law. After two hours of the moms dismissing all of my own dress choices as too casual, too simple, too plain, or just not 'bridey' enough, I finally gave in, too exhausted to fight anymore and consented to just trying on a few dresses of their choosing.

My mother had chosen this dress because it was the type of wedding dress she had always wanted but had been unable to wear since she'd been pregnant with my brother at her own wedding. That lovely pity party along with the gasp and tears both she and Mary began shedding the moment I stepped out of the dressing room clinched the deal. I felt ridiculous but they were happy so I smiled and forced my head to nod in consent. _Pick your battles, Bella._

Mary, and therefore James, had insisted on a hugely religious ceremony complete with candle lightings, readings and the whole shebang. I'd never been that girl who fantasized about her wedding or even really put much thought into it but it meant so much to James and his family that I agreed. At the very least, I figured I'd get some nice pictures to show any future kids.

"Oh my, Bella! You look like a princess," My mom said as slipped into the small dressing room. "Alice said you looked gorgeous but this is incredible."

"Thanks mom, are you sure it's not too much? I mean, I swish when I walk," I said, pacing the room to demonstrate my point.

"I know! Isn't it fantastic. I love this dress. Oh, by the way, I've seen the church. Bell, it's like a fairy tale. You're giving that Kate Middleton a run for her money, that's for sure."

I picked up a flute of champagne and downed it. "Doubt that mom. It's all Mary's doing anyways. One-upping Kate Middleton was never really my intent. I'd have done this in a courthouse, or the backyard if I could have. I'm just here to get married." I left out the fact that this cupcake of a dress that she'd chosen was much more Princess Di than Duchess Kate.

"Of course dear," she smiled, ignoring my courthouse statement completely. "It's about that time too. I think Alice went to fetch your father."

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. This was it. James and I were about to tie our lives together. _Oh my God. Am I doing this?_

"Bella, are you alright?" Mom asked gently.

"Uh yeah, just nervous. There's a lot of people out there," I said, lifting another champagne flute to my lips and finishing off the last of the bubbly liquid. "You know how I am with big crowds."

"I saw, I didn't know you even knew so many people," Mom commented with a small smile.

"I don't."

Sitting out in the church was one hundred plus people, and I probably only knew a handful of them. Almost everyone out there was a relative, friend or acquaintance of James or his parents. My parents, my brother and his family, a few of the other teachers from my school, some old college friends, and Alice's whole family with the exception of Edward were the only people in attendance that were here from my side of things. I could probably count them all on my fingers and toes. _If I could see my toes. _Everyone else out there was a stranger.

There was one person who wasn't there though. _Edward!_ I'd made it the entire day without thinking of him or his glaring absence on the most important day of my life. I needed him desperately. I knew I wouldn't be so nervous or scared to stand up in front of all these people if he were here with me. For the twenty years he'd been my rock. He knew when I was overwhelmed or freaking out and he always knew how to calm me down. I still didn't understand what his problem was. I knew he didn't like James, he never liked anyone I dated and I'd been less than approving of some of the girls he brought home on occasion as well, but it had never stood in the way of our friendship before. It had never kept us from supporting each other. So what the hell was is problem?

I felt just the beginning of a tear begin to form and began shaking my head violently. I refused to cry, not yet anyways. Alice would murder me if I ruined my makeup before I even made it into the church.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Mom came to stand next to me and began to rub soft soothing circles on my bare shoulder.

I took another deep breath and remembered the where I was. I was here to marry James. I was about to start my life with him. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. "I told you, mom. Just scared of getting up in front of so many strangers. Thank God Alice let me wear flats or I'm sure I would fall on my face."

"I'm sure you wouldn't but I guess it doesn't matter since no one can see your feet. Might as well be comfortable."

There was a small knock at the door and then my father popped his head into the room. "About that time, baby girl. You ready?"

Mom clapped her hands excitedly and began bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Oooh, I guess I need to go take my seat," she exclaimed, "I love you sweetie and I'm so proud of you." After a soft peek on the cheek and a small hug, my mother practically danced out of the room.

"She's been looking forward to this since the day you were born," Dad said with a laugh. "Jesus, Bells, you look beautiful. More than beautiful, actually. I still don't think this guy deserves you but I guess that's your call."

"Thank you daddy," I said quietly, the tears beginning to well up again.

"Oh, don't cry, baby girl. Are you OK? Bells, are you sure this is what you want? Cause if you're not, I'll go tell all those people to go to hell. Or I can sneak you out the back. You just say the word."

I laughed and smiled, blinking back the tears. "No, dad. We've been together three years. It's time."

"That don't mean a damn thing. You don't have to do this just because it's expected or because you've been dating for a long time. You do this because you are ready and not a second before."

"Dad, it's time. Let's go."

He smiled resignedly and held out his arm. "Alright then, let's go."

Alice and Emmett's wife, Rosalie, were waiting in the hall, flowers in hand, ready to walk down the aisle before me as my bridesmaids. Rosalie was kneeling in front of her twins, EJ, short for Emmett Jr, and Lily, talking to them quietly. EJ was serving as my ring bearer and Lily was my flower girl.

Lily turned when I approached and gasped in awe. "Oh Auntie Bella! You look like a princess!"

I knelt in front of her and gave her a hug. "So do you Lily Bug and EJ, you look so handsome!"

He beamed with pride and held up the small pillow he'd be carrying down the aisle. "I gots the important job," he said very seriously.

"Yes, both of you have very important jobs. I sure couldn't do this without either of you."

Together we made our way down the hall towards the chapel. I could hear the soft music getting gradually louder as we got closer and my stomach began to flip flop. I clung to my dad's arm tightly, releasing him only to take my flowers from Alice.

Rosalie bent down to give the twins a few last minute instructions before standing and taking her place in front of Alice. The music grew louder as the chapel doors opened and for half a second I thought I might throw up. Dad reached up with his free hand and gave my hand a small squeeze. "Just say the word, Bells. We can still bail."

I shook my head. I was ready to do this, I told myself. It's just the crowd that has me spooked, I repeated in my head, but I could handle them. I had to. This was what James wanted and it was his wedding too. "No, let's get the show on the road."

Alice pulled my veil down over my face just as Rose began her walk down the aisle. I gave Alice a small smile before she turned and followed Rosalie. The twins turned to us and looked up at my dad.

"Time to go yet, Grampa?" Lily asked, much more excited about being center of attention than I was.

Dad took a quick peek into the chapel and then signaled for EJ to go. He took off down the aisle a little too quickly and I heard everyone in the chapel laugh at the antics I could no longer see. He was definitely Emmett's kid, all smiles and dimples as he soaked up the attention. Lily looked up at us again and dad nodded his head for her. Lily took her job very seriously and held her small basket of flowers tightly as she tossed them in front of her just as we'd practiced several times.

"I love you Bells. You'll always be my little girl, no matter what. Just want you to know that," dad whispered to me.

"Thanks dad, I love you too."

Soon the music changed to the traditional bridal chorus and my dad turned to me. "Ok, kid. That's our cue."

I just nodded, the urge to vomit was back and I was afraid to open my mouth. I couldn't remember the last time I was this nervous, not even at either of my graduation ceremonies and there had been many more people in attendance then, but they hadn't all been focused on me. I'd had several hundred people to share the spotlight with then. In just a few seconds, all eyes would be on me and me alone. I didn't like it.

Dad and I walked slowly to the doors and I got my first glimpse of the church all decorated and filled with guests. It was breathtaking. There were candles and flowers everywhere. It looked just like bridal magazine. Everyone was on their feet and watching as dad and I made our way down the aisle. The sheer number of people in the room made me nervous and I found myself searching the church for a friendly face. I caught a glimpse of my mom in the front row, tears streaming down her face. I gave her a small smile and focused my attention just past her to the front of the church where James stood standing beside the minister.

He smiled as my eyes locked onto his and I felt the nerves begin to bubble again. _Were we ready for this? Was he the one? Was I ready to spend my life with him?_ I couldn't stop the onslaught of questions that raced through my head as we rapidly approached the altar. I pushed all those thoughts aside dismissing my nerves and doubts as normal cold feet. Everyone had last minute fears, didn't they?

We reached the end of the aisle all too soon and I could barely hear the exchange between my father and the minister as he asked "Who gives this woman?"

Dad sighed, kissed my cheek and held out my hand, giving me to James as he blinked away a few tears. I took James's hands as the audience resumed their seats. There were some words from the minister, a few prayers, poems, or songs, I think, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was focusing all my attention on staying on my feet. I looked at James and was repeating all of the reasons I'd agreed to marry him in my head when a sudden noise at the back of the church pulled me out of my thoughts.

The door to the chapel had opened and a tall young woman with fiery red hair entered. She was a little casually dressed for a wedding, wearing jeans and a large t-shirt but I imagined it was likely difficult to find formal clothes in her condition. This redheaded stranger was cradling a very pregnant belly as she walked towards us. I was certainly no expert on etiquette, but even I knew that it was incredibly tacky to interrupt a wedding ceremony by being so very late and making such a disruptive entrance.

I looked to James, assuming this rude guest to be one of the crazy cousins he'd always told me about, but he wasn't looking at me. His face was a mask of horror, fear, and rage as he stared at the intruder who was still coming down the aisle towards us.

The minister had stopped talking when the woman entered, waiting for her to take her seat before resuming but now as she came to a stop in front of us, he was forced to acknowledge her.

"Young lady," he whispered, "we are in the middle of a very important and private ceremony. I'll have to ask you to return later or you can wait outside if you are in need of immediate help or counsel and I'll help you when I'm finished here," he said, motioning to her burgeoning belly.

"I'm sorry but this can't wait," she said, shooting a look of disgust at James before turning to me. "I tried to get here earlier," she was addressing me personally and I was sure she was mistaking me for someone else. I'd never seen this woman in my life. "I really didn't want to make a scene," she continued. "I would have told you long before this if I had known. I just didn't know what else to do. I'm so very sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, especially not like this, but I thought you deserved to know before you went through with anything."

"What are you talking about?" I asked as my stomach flipped and twisted into knots. "I don't even know you."

"Are you serious, Tori?" James hissed at the girl.

She spun on her feet to face him again and glared. "Yes James, I'm very serious. I think your fiancé deserves to know that I'm carrying your child before she agrees to marry you. And since you refuse to tell her, I had to come and do it myself."

As her words sunk in, I could feel the room begin to spin. She was carrying his child. How was that possible? We'd been exclusive for three years, living together for the last year. How could this happen? The dates didn't make sense. They couldn't make sense. Not unless….

I was forced to finally admit the fact that he had to have cheated on me for this to be even remotely possible. With that, I found myself gasping for air and clutched at my chest as the bouquet of flowers fell from my hand to the floor. Alice and Rose were immediately at my side and I leaned on them to keep myself from collapsing to the floor as my entire world fell to pieces.

"How could you?" I choked out.

"I didn't know," the girl cried. "I promise you. I'm not like that. I thought he was single. He told me he was single. When I told him I was pregnant he was so excited and we made all these plans. We've been making plans for months. I only found out about you this morning. My friend does deliveries for a florist and saw his name listed on a wedding order. I didn't want to tell you like this but I couldn't get here in time."

"Not you," I snapped, turning to James as my feelings of hurt and heartbreak turned to rage. "How could you? From the looks of her," I said pointing at the redhead, "you were knocking her up and proposing to me at the same time."

"Bella," he started but I cut him off.

"No!" I screamed, only vaguely aware that we still had a massive audience. "I don't want to hear your excuses."

James didn't get to say another word as Emmett bounded out of his seat and flew towards him, his fist crashing into James's face. No one, not James's family or even the minister moved to stop him. My dad was holding the twins, burying their faces into his shoulder so they wouldn't be witness to their father's violent outburst but I could see the anger and rage in his own face. His grandchildren were the only thing keeping him from following in his son's footsteps. My mom rushed towards me and wrapped me in her arms, pulling me away from the altar.

"Come on, baby." She said softly.

I tried desperately to follow her but my legs felt as though they were made of lead. I was utterly frozen where I stood. The church was in chaos, guests were jumping from their seats yelling accusations and dismay, and my world was crashing down around me but I couldn't move. I vaguely heard Rosalie call out to Emmett. He turned away from James, who was lying on the floor holding his bloody nose, and rushed over to me. In one swift motion, my big brother pulled me up into his arms and rushed us out of the chapel with Alice, Rosalie and my parents trailing behind.

Once away from the crowd, they all began speaking at once, offering condolences, expressing their hatred or disbelief of James's actions. I heard Emmett and my father plotting more bodily harm against James while my mother became a crying, sobbing mess. Rose was attempting to keep her children calm in the wake of such madness while Alice simply held me, waiting for me to break down and cry.

But there was no break down and there were no tears. I was simply too in shock to process what was happening. There was just too much going on and it was overwhelming. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

"I can't be here," I said to Alice once I found my voice. Everyone in that church would be out here in the lobby soon. It would become a circus and I couldn't remain here to see their looks of pity or risk seeing James again. "I have to go," I breathed. I didn't know where I would go but I couldn't stay here. "I need to get out of here. I need to go. Get me out of here!" I repeated, feeling as though I was on the verge of a panic attack.

Alice released me from her arms and looked into my eyes for a moment. "Go where?

"Anywhere," I said. "Anywhere but here.

Alice took one look at my face before nodding. "Ok, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of everything. Go."

Without another look or another word, I stepped out of the church and into the Seattle rain. Without another look, I turned away from my family, from my friends and away from a life that was no longer mine, a life I no longer recognized, and I ran. I ran as hard as I could.

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><p>Well, that's how Bella's day is going. Love to hear what you thin k and I'll see you on Friday!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Alright, most of you have put to and two together so lets just get right to it.

I still own nothing and mistakes are my own. I've also been a big, fat failure at responding to reviews and I apologize. I had term papers to write this week and 3 finals to take next week and that's on top of the holidays and having a bunch of kids. I'll try to be better but I do read and appreciate every single one. They make my day!

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

**EPOV**

I'd opened the door ready to curse out a random salesmen or some asshole asking me to change my religion. Instead, all the air was knocked out of me as I found Bella was standing on the front step, drenched in her wedding dress. A veil sat crookedly on top of her wet hair and her eyes were ringed with black, mascara streaking down her cheeks.

"How did you know?" she gasped, out of breath. I looked past her to the driveway and saw no car. I couldn't imagine anyone just dropping her off and leaving, not in the state she was in. She held no purse or wallet to keep cash in either, so a cab was unlikely. It became quite clear that she'd come on foot.

"Know what? Bella, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, pulling her out of the rain and into the house. "That church is a mile or two from here. What is going on?"

"James. You knew. How did you know? Why didn't you tell me? You're my friend and you knew. I trust you. You should have told me," she managed to croak before her emotions got the better of her and she collapsed against me, sobbing.

I gathered her into my arms and carried her to the couch, sitting with her in my lap and rocking her as she cried against my neck. My brain was working overtime, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Did they get married or not. Did she get cold feet? No, she said something about James. Did he get cold feet? What did that fucking bastard do that would cause her to run out into the rain like this? Where the hell was her family? Or my family? They wouldn't just let her leave like this? Were they out looking for her? Should I be calling them?

I thought about reaching for my phone to call Charlie or Emmett when Bella finally lifted her head. She looked at me, her eyes filled with so much pain that the thought of anyone else disappeared. Right now she needed me and I couldn't worry about anyone but her. Everyone else would have to wait.

"B, sweetheart, what happened?" I asked carefully, afraid the question would set of another round of sobs.

She took a long ragged breath and slid off my lap and onto the couch next to me. "Is that a beer?" she asked, motioning to the coffee table.

"Uh, yeah," I said, grabbing the bottle and offering it to her.

She took it and polished it off in one swig. "Got anything stronger?"

"Might have a bottle of wine."

"Stronger."

I stood and headed for the kitchen. "Um, I've got some vodka in here but I don't really have anything to chase it or mix it with." I said, holding up a large unopened bottle of Grey Goose.

"Perfect," she said and held out her hand.

"Let me grab some shot glasses"

"Nope, just give me the fucking bottle."

I raised an eyebrow but conceded, handing over the bottle as I resumed my seat. Bella opened the bottle and took an impressively large drink right out of the bottle, her body shuddering as she passed the bottle to me. I shrugged and tipped the bottle to my lips.

"Alright, will you talk to me now?" I asked.

"We got to the altar," she began, staring blankly across the room. "Everything was fine. I was nervous as fuck but that's normal, right? I mean I thought it was normal but maybe it was my gut trying to warn me."

"Warn you of what, B?"

"This girl just walked in during the ceremony wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I thought she was some cousin of James or something but then she keeps walking towards us and I see that she's pregnant, like really, really pregnant."

It felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs as she spoke and I began to piece it all together. "Oh my God!"

"Yeah," she sighed and took the bottle from my hand. "She kept apologizing to me. She was sorry! She said she didn't know about me and whatever. Can't blame her for that, I guess. I sure as fuck didn't know about her either."

She took another sip and handed it back to me. I didn't know what to say and so I just took another shot.

"She said she wanted me to know what I was getting into but I should have known, shouldn't I?"

"How would you know, Bella?"

"You! You knew," she said, looking into my eyes.

I shook my head violently. "No, B. I didn't know anything. Certainly nothing like that. I would have told you. You know I would have told you. There's no way I would let you marry him if I'd known about that."

"No, but you didn't like him. You knew something was off. You tried to tell me. It's why you didn't come today. You didn't trust him and you were right."

I exhaled loudly. What was I supposed to say? That until now I just didn't like him because he had what I wanted. No, I'd made plenty of excuses over the years but if there was ever an absolute wrong time to tell Bella how I felt, this was it. And so I lied. "I just don't like anyone, B. You said so yourself. I didn't have a reason. I just straight up don't like him."

"But you were right. You're always right. I should have listened to you. It didn't feel right without you there."

"That's just my own bullshit, Bella," I said quietly, though I didn't think she heard it.

"How could he, E? He was proposing to me and making a baby with someone else at the same time. How could he do that? And how could I be so blind? I should have known he was up to something, shouldn't I?"

"It's not your fault, B. He fucked up. Some guys just don't see what they have right in front of them. He was a lucky, fucking bastard and he'll have to live with the fact that he threw away the best thing he'll ever have."

Tears were streaming down her face again and I grabbed a box of tissues off an end table. I took a tissue and cupped her face in one hand as I wiped the makeup stained tears off her cheeks with the other. "He never deserved you, B. I mean, look at you."

"I look like a fucking cupcake!" she wailed.

"No, you are breathtaking. I mean it, B. You look so beautiful."

She smiled weakly and fluffed up the massive dress that was practically consuming her and took up the better half of the couch. "Seriously though, look at me. This is ridiculous. I feel like I'm drowning in satin."

I couldn't help but laugh. "OK, I'll admit, the dress is a bit of a surprise. It doesn't really look like you. It's nice but I didn't really imagine you as the big, fairy, princess wedding type of girl."

"I'm not," she cried, taking another sip of vodka. "I let my mom and Mary pick it. I really wanted something simple but they love it so I let them pick. I let them pick everything. I wanted a small wedding. I would have been happy just going in front of a judge or maybe at the beach. Something small with just a few people but I let them talk me into a giant circus wedding and for what? So I could be humiliated in front of a hundred people I don't know?"

There was an edge to her voice, the alcohol turning her pain into anger as she continued her rant. "It should have been another sign. I didn't care enough to voice my opinion. I told myself 'it matters more to them than it does to me' so I let them have their way. It was my wedding. Shouldn't it have mattered more to me? If it was really important to me, wouldn't I have voiced my opinion more?"

"No, not necessarily. A wedding is mostly just ceremony. You were letting them have their way about the ceremony not the marriage."

"I guess." She leaned forward to take the bottle from my hands, her dress rustling and swishing with every move. "Ugh, I need to get out of this fucking thing. It's all wet and heavy. I'm probably ruining your couch and my hair is just, ugh."

"I don't care about the couch, B. If you want, you're welcome to take a shower." I said, nodding towards my bedroom.

"I don't have anything to change into. I don't have anything. I didn't even think about it. I just ran. I needed to get away and I ended up here. I have nothing but this stupid fucking dress!"

"Come on," I said, standing and holding out my hand for her. "You can borrow a t-shirt and some sweats for now and we'll worry about the rest of it later."

She followed me into my room and into the master bathroom, watching as I started the shower so it could heat up for her. I stepped past her into my room and rummaged through my drawers until I found a too small pair of sweats that I'd been meaning to toss and a clean t-shirt. I walked back into the bathroom, pulled a towel from the shelf and placed them all on the counter for her.

"Alright, you take your time and I'll be out in the living room when you're done, ok?" I turned to leave but she stopped me with a small hand on my forearm.

"Um, Edward," she asked timidly. "Can you help me? I can't get out of this thing on my own."

She turned and motioned towards the zipper on the back of the dress. I nodded and gripped the tiny piece of metal sliding it slowly down her back, forcing myself to look away as she held the front of the dress to her chest, stopping it from slipping off her body.

"There you go," I said quietly and turned to leave as quickly as I could.

"Thank you," she said softly, "for everything."

I just nodded, unable to speak as I left the room, closing the door behind me. I wasn't sure if I could handle this. She needed me to be her friend, a safe place to recover from a massive betrayal and I could barely contain myself after unzipping one fucking dress. _Get a grip, Cullen! She's here because she trusts you. You are her friend, her safe place. Don't fuck that up._

I headed into the living room, needing to get away from the sounds of running water reminding me that the woman of my dreams was naked on the other side of the door. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Alice's number. She answered on the second ring.

"_Is she there?"_ Alice's frantic voice shouted into my ear.

"Yeah, Ali, she's here."

The line was muffled as I heard Alice told someone_. "She's with Edward."_

"Alice," I called into the phone, "What the hell is going on?"

"_Oh, Edward, it was awful. This girl that showed up is eight months pregnant. Eight months! I talked to her a little bit and she said he's been seeing her this whole time. He even goes to doctor appointments! They were together for a while before she got pregnant too. He's been cheating on Bella for at least a year. At least with this girl. Who knows if he had someone else before her?" _

"Motherfucker!"

"_Tell me about it. I'm so glad she's with you, I sorta figured that's where she would go, especially since your place is fairly close, but we've been so worried. Renee is a mess and Emmett and Charlie are out for blood. Well, more blood I guess,"_ she said with a small laugh.

"More blood? What are you talking about?"

"_Bella didn't tell you about Em decking that SOB right in the jaw? He got one good shot in, right there in the front of God and the whole church, but he's ready for more. Charlie too. Dad and Jazz had to physically force them into a car and get them away from here before they both wound up in jail. Rose went with them. Though she mostly went to take care of Renee and to get her kids away from all the chaos. Mom and I stayed behind to clean up this mess. The Swans are pretty pissed off at me for helping Bella slip away on her own but, Edward, the shit hit the fan and she was just too overwhelmed to deal with everyone." _

"Well, I wish they'd have let Em or Charlie get a few more hits in before pulling them away but there'll be plenty of time for that to come. Al, are you sure this girl is even telling the truth? What if she's just some wackjob? I'd hate for Bella to go through all this pain if he didn't actually do anything."

"_Are you defending him?"_

"Fuck no," I cried, "of course not, but Bella loves him and I'd hate for her to think he betrayed her if he really didn't. Know what I mean?" I knew in my gut that he was guilty but I was also biased.

"_Yeah, I know, but I was talking to this girl. Her name is Victoria. She's just a sophomore down at UW, Edward. A sophomore! She's so young and she thought he loved her and when she got pregnant, he promised to take care of her. He's been to almost all her doctor appointments and helped her buy things for the baby. She's just as heartbroken and upset by this as anyone. She feels awful. She said she had no idea he had a girlfriend, but she did think it was odd that he would never spend the night. Sounds like he might have some kind of bachelor pad because she said she's been to his apartment and never saw signs of another woman." _

"So you believe her?"

"_Yeah, I do, and so does mom. She's been sitting with her for a while now, trying to calm her down. This girl doesn't want anything to do with James anymore either but she's having his child and I can see that she still loves him." _

I laughed bitterly at that. "Well, so did Bella, for three damn years and look what that got her."

"_She's just a kid, Edward. She feels awful for ruining the wedding but she said if she was in Bella's shoes, she'd want to know before committing her life to him." _

I heard the pipes creak as the water was shut off. "Ok, look Alice, she's getting out of the shower. I'll take care of her tonight. I let her borrow some of my sweats but she'll need clothes tomorrow. Think you could run some over in the morning? Oh, and will you call up Charlie or Renee and tell them she's ok? I don't want them to worry but I think she just needs a night to process everything."

"_Yeah sure, of course. Mom's on the phone with them already."_

"Alright, thanks Ali. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I hung up the phone and slipped it back into my pocket just as Bella emerged from the bedroom, positively drowning in my way too big for her clothes and drying her hair with a towel.

"Hey, you hungry?" I asked.

Bella shook her head and headed straight for the vodka bottle. "Just thirsty," she said.

I reached the bottle before her and held it out of her reach. "Nope, no more alcohol until you eat something."

"Fine," she said with a pout. "Sandwich?"

I nodded and headed into the kitchen, taking the bottle with me. I quickly made two simple turkey sandwiches and carried them along with two bottles of water back to the living room.

"Here you go," I said handing a plate to Bella before taking a seat next to her on the couch.

Bella finished her sandwich in record time, holding up her plate to me as proof of her compliance before taking the bottle of vodka. She opened the bottle and took a long drink before offering it to me.

"No, I think I'm ok for now," I said, waving it away.

Her bottom lip jutted out as she pouted. "Come on, don't make me drink alone. That's pathetic and I think I've had enough of that for one day."

I couldn't contend with her cute pouty face and snatched the bottle out of her hand. "Alright fine."

"E, what am I supposed to do now?" she asked quietly after several moments of silence.

"You move on, B. That's all you can do."

She took the bottle from me, taking another long drink. Part of me knew I should be trying harder to cut her off but a bigger part of me argued that she deserved to get as drunk as she wanted.

"Move on? I have nowhere to go. The house is in his name. All my stuff is there and I don't think I can go there and face him, even to get my clothes and stuff. How do I walk into that house that we shared knowing it was all a lie?"

"You walk in there with your head held high. We'll go when he's not around and your brother and Jazz, and I will come with you. We'll get your stuff out in no time and you'll be done with it."

"But where will I go?" she asked, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I'm homeless!"

"You have a home, B." I said quietly, taking the bottle away and taking a long pull of my own.

Bella snorted and turned away. "You're right. God, I'm too fucking old to move back in with my folks. I'm going to end up killing my mother."

"Bella," I said softly, pulling on her hand until she turned her face back to me. "I meant here. You'll always have a home here."

"What?"

"I mean it. I'll clean out the spare bedroom and it's yours, as long as you want it."

She launched herself at me, throwing her arms around me. "Oh thank you," she mumbled into my neck repeatedly before her expressions of gratitude dissolved into another round of sobs.

"Shhh," I whispered, my cheek pressed against her damp hair. "Shh, don't cry, B. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

After a few minutes she calmed down and pulled herself off of my lap, much to my own dismay. Even under the circumstances, I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of her in my arms. She ran her hands through her hair, scrunching up her face as her hands caught in the wet snarl of her hair.

I excused myself to the bathroom, coming back with a hair brush. Bella held her hand out to take the brush from me but I shook my head and motioned to the floor. She cocked an eyebrow but slipped onto the floor as I sat on the couch behind her placing one leg to either side of her body and began to slowly work through the tangle of hair with the brush.

"My mom used to do this when I was upset," she said quietly as if lost in the memory.

"I remember."

Despite my disapproval, Bella continued to take shots of Grey Goose as I brushed out her long chestnut hair. When I'd finished and set the brush onto the coffee table, I realized my box of photos was still sitting out and open. I tried to casually set the lid back onto the box but all that served was to bring Bella's attention to the stack of photos within it.

"Oh my God!" she cried, reaching for the box. "Is that from your birthday?"

She pulled out the photo of the two of us in my bed on the morning of my twentieth birthday. The one that I'd been looking at when she'd arrived on my doorstep.

"I haven't seen this in years. Why didn't you tell me you had a copy?"

I shrugged and grabbed the bottle. Now I was the one who needed the drink. She was going to see all the photos I'd kept over the years and think I was some creepy obsessed stalker type. She was so emotionally delicate right now I had no way of knowing how she would take it but I figured it was going to involve a lot of disgust.

"Is this from prom?" she asked, holding up another picture. I nodded and she returned her attention to the photograph. "This was framed before, wasn't it? Back in college, you had it in your room, right? In that shitty little place we shared off campus."

Another nod as I took another large sip, waiting for her to put everything together. Waiting for my world to fall apart.

She was rifling through the box when she suddenly gasped. "Oh my God, E. I can't believe you have this!"

She held up a small strip of photos from one of those photo booth things like they have in the mall. It held three pictures of the two of us making goofy faces for the camera taken at some event we attended while we were in college. "This was mine, you little thief."

"Was not!" I retorted.

"It so was! I made you go to that party, therefore it was my picture."

"It was on the fridge for months, you didn't even notice when it was gone."

She slapped my leg playfully and laughed. "I did too. I just thought it had fallen under the fridge or gotten thrown away or something. I didn't think you'd stolen it."

"Well, it would have. I was just keeping it safe."

She eyed me suspiciously for a minute and then smiled. "Mmhmm, whatever."

I breathed a silent sigh of relief. It was probably all the liquor she'd drank but she didn't seem creeped out or disturbed by my collection of photos so far. In fact, it seemed to be improving her mood. Each photo she pulled out made her laugh as we recounted the memories behind them.

I'd forgotten that there were photos of other family and friends in there until Bella pulled out a few pictures of Alice and Jasper, taken on the day they moved in to their first apartment. In one pic Jasper was hugging Alice from behind, each of them smiling happily. The other had been taken just a few minutes later as Jazz pulled her in for a kiss.

"They look so happy," Bella said wistfully. "In three years, I don't think James and I ever looked this happy. That should have been my first clue."

"Don't beat yourself up, B. Ali and Jazz are freaks of nature. I don't think there are two people more perfect for each other than those two."

"Rose and Em are that happy," she said sadly.

"It's out there for you, B. Just don't settle until you find it."

"Is that what you're waiting for? That perfect person, just for you."

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell her that I'd already found that person. That I'd found her when I was only seven years old. That my perfect person just didn't feel the same about me in return. Instead I just nodded and agreed. "Yeah, something like that."

We continued to look through the box of pictures, laughing at our goofy facial expressions or unfortunate fashion choices. It wasn't long before the alcohol we'd consumed took hold and both of us began to slur and sway in our seats.

"I Tired," Bella sighed.

She tossed the last of the photos onto the table as I stood and held my hand out for her. "Come on, les get you t' bed."

I led her into my room and over to my own bed since my guest room was currently being used as an office. She would sleep here and I would crash on the couch. She was swaying heavily and barely able to stand unassisted by the time I got her into the bed. I was only marginally better on account of my bigger size. Tomorrow would be a rough one for the both of us and I could only hope the couple bottles of water I'd forced us to drink along the way would help combat some of the hangover that was surely awaiting us in the morning.

"G'night, B." I whispered, pulling the blanket up around her.

Her hand shot out from under the blanket and grabbed my own. "Wait, don't go."

I took a seat on the edge of the bed next to her. "Want me wait till you sleep?"

Her head shook vigorously against the pillow. "Jus stay, please. All night."

"You want me to sleep here?" I asked, stunned. Despite living together for several years, Bella and I hadn't slept in the same bed since we were kids.

"Please. Can't be alone. Need you." The sadness and pain had returned to her voice and it broke my heart.

"K, give me a sec." I pulled a pair of pajama pants from the dresser drawer and headed to the bathroom to change.

When I came back into the bedroom, I thought maybe Bella had already fallen asleep and debated whether I should just head to the couch like I'd originally planned. A small voice in the darkness answered that question for me.

"Edward, where are you?"

I hurried to the empty side of the bed and pulled the covers back. "Right here," I said quietly, slipping into the bed.

As soon as I had laid down she scooted over and nestled against me. I lifted my arm and she snuggled in to my side, laying her head in the crook of my shoulder. I lowered my arm and held her to me. The moment felt so right and yet so very wrong all at the same time because she was unaware of my feelings for her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, E. I love you."

My heart filled with joy at hearing those words from her lips but broke at the same time, knowing she didn't mean them in the way I needed her to. Whether it was the alcohol or having her in my bed, lying in my arms, I don't know but I couldn't stop the words that fell from my lips after that.

"I love you too, Bella. Really love you. Like a more than a friend. An I can't live without you kind of love."

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I'd waited six years to tell her and a drunken ramble on the night of her failed wedding to someone else was definitely not the way I'd wanted to tell her but a part of me also felt relieved. It was out there now instead of weighing on my heart.

The room got very quiet as I waited for her reaction, waited for her to recoil from me in horror, waited for her to tell me off or ask me to leave. I waited and I waited and nothing happened until I heard the soft rhythmic sound of her breathing signaling the fact that she was fast asleep.

"Fuck!" I cried slamming my head back onto the pillow. I finally gotten the courage to tell her how I felt and she hadn't heard a word of it.

Before I allowed myself to succumb to sleep I made a silent vow that I would not let another seven years go by before I told her again. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I would give her some time to get over James but I was going to find a way to tell her once and for all that I was in love her and let the chips fall where they may. I'd been given a second chance and I'll be damned if I was going to let it slip away again. 

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><p>So, he's finally (<em>FINALLLYY) <em>ready to tell her. Do you think there's a time frame on how long you let someone get over being cheated on and, I guess, jilted at the altar?

Thanks again for reading. I'll see you Monday.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry, I'm a little late getting this chapter out this morning. I have a 16 mo old who doesn't want me to do anything but snuggle her this morning. Anyways, you guys seem to be pretty split on whether he should wait or tell her right away. However, everyone is in agreement that he's already waited far too long. Can't argue with that. The boy needs a kick in the ass.

I still don't own it and mistakes are mine.

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**EPOV**

By some miracle of God, I woke early the next morning with only a slight headache and a mildly upset stomach. Maybe it was just waking up with Bella in my arms that caused me to wake up in such a good mood despite being exhausted. Several times last night, Bella woke up gasping and frantically searching the bed for something. Every time, I would have to gather her in my arms and whisper to her until she stilled and fell back asleep. Eventually, I'd grown too tired and fallen asleep with my back against the headboard and Bella still in my arms.

I slowly shifted Bella onto her side, slipped out from underneath her and headed into the bathroom. In the medicine cabinet, I located a bottle of aspirin and popped a few into my mouth, chasing them with a glass of water. I took the bottle and the glass of water into the bedroom and set them on the nightstand where Bella would be sure to see them. I knew she would likely wake up in a far worse state than myself.

In the living room, I quickly piled the photographs back into their box and hid the whole thing underneath an end table for now. I cleared away the bottle of vodka and the handful of beer bottles I'd left laying around and walked into the kitchen.

The idea of food wasn't terribly appetizing but I knew from much experience that the best hangover remedy was a rich, greasy breakfast. So, I set to work frying up some bacon, preparing the fixings for Bella's favorite veggie omelet, and brewed a large pot of coffee. I'd just started on the cracking the eggs into a bowl when Bella stumbled in cradling her head and moaning as she scrambled into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Ugh, that should not smell as good as it does."

I laughed as I began beating the eggs. "I know what you mean. Did you find the aspirin?"

She nodded and then moaned and dropped her head into her hands. "That was a bad idea."

"Coffee?" I asked, pulling out two mugs.

"Yes, please."

I poured the black liquid into the cups, adding a small amount of sugar and a splash of milk to Bella's cup before sliding it across the counter to her.

"You remember how I like it?" she asked, lifting her head slightly to meet my gaze.

"Course I do."

I turned my attention back to the stove and set to work on Bella's omelet. I'd just folded one side over when I heard the front door open.

"Good morning!" Alice sang as she walked into the room, her arms loaded down with bags of clothing.

"Jesus Christ, Alice! Will you please stop screaming?" Bella moaned.

Alice shot me a quizzical look until I pointed at the almost empty bottle of Grey Goose I'd left on the counter. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said softly as she set the bags down on the kitchen table.

I finished the omelet and slid it onto a plate with some toast and a few strips of bacon before setting the whole thing in front of Bella. She lifted her head to inspect the plate of food and groaned.

"Trust me, B. It'll make you feel better."

She began picking at her food as Alice motioned for me to follow her out of the room. We'd barely made it into my bedroom before Alice began her questioning.

"How much did you let her drink? Is she ok? What happened? What did she say?"

"I let her drink as much as she needed to without giving herself alcohol poisoning. I think she deserved to get plastered. She's definitely not ok, Al, she's heartbroken and upset. I let her cry for awhile and then we looked at some old photos, I think that helped distract her a bit and I can't remember exactly what she said because I was drinking as well. Happy now?"

She eyed me a little and then nodded. "You did good, big bro. Do you think she'll be ok?"

"Of course she will. She just needs a little time."

We headed back to the kitchen before Bella could get suspicious. I was pleased to see that she'd almost cleaned her plate.

"Once I started, I couldn't stop," she said with a small smile.

"I told you, it's the best thing for a hangover."

"That's the truth. I'm beginning to feel almost human again."

"Bella," Alice piped up, "I brought you some clothes. Edward mentioned you might need something to wear."

"Aw, thank you Alice. Not sure how long I could get away with wearing this." She held out her arms to illustrate her point.

"It was no problem. How are you?"

"Like I got hit by a truck and had my heart ripped out of my chest and run over by that same truck, but other than that, I'm ok," she said with a forced smile. "Oh God! My parents," she exclaimed, her smile dropping. "I just left! They must be so worried."

She leapt out of her chair, searching frantically for a phone. "I need to call them."

"Shh," I said, coming to stand next to her. "It's ok, they know where you are. I called Alice last night while you were in the shower and she let them know."

Bella turned to Alice who nodded in agreement. "They understand Bella. No one blames you for taking off. I wouldn't have stuck around either."

"Thank you," Bella cried, tears beginning to drip down her face. "Oh shit, here I go again. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, B. You haven't done anything wrong." I said

"Bells, when you're feeling up to it, I have a few things to talk to you about." Alice said very quietly as I shot her a dirty look. What could there possibly be that couldn't wait?

"Oh, out with it, Alice. Let's just get it all over with," she said with an exasperated sigh, wiping the tears from her eyes.

We moved into the living room, Bella taking a seat next to me on the couch as Alice perched in the closest armchair.

"Ok, so I talked to Mary and she agreed to keep James away whenever you're ready to move your stuff. I just have to give her a call and tell her when. She wanted me to tell you how sorry she is. She said she's appalled by James's behavior."

Bella snorted in disbelief. "Of course she is. That woman babied the shit out of him and spoiled him rotten. He can do no wrong in her eyes and I'm sure she's the reason he thinks he can just do whatever he wants."

"Well, as long as she keeps him away, it should be easy to get your stuff out of there. The house is in his name only and you don't share a bank account, right?"

"Not yet," she replied quietly and then shook her head. "I mean no, we don't."

"Ok, good, then you should be able to make a clean break." Alice chirped trying to focus on the positive. "Mom and I gathered up the gifts…"

"Shit! I didn't even think of that," Bella cried as the tears began to flow again. I pulled her into my arms and glared at Alice.

"We'll take care of it. I should still have a copy of everyone's address from when we did the invitations. Mom and I already planned on returning them all for you so don't even worry about that. I just wanted you to know that it's being handled so there's nothing for you to worry about."

"Except for being humiliated in front of everyone I know and having everyone tip toe around me and feeling sorry for me."

"Shh," I whispered, "no one…"

"Maybe not you or our families, but everyone else will be whispering about me for months. Mary invited half of Seattle to that circus freak show of a wedding. I'll be lucky if I can get a coffee without the barista pitying me. Maybe I'll just hide out here until school starts again. Do you think it'll blow over by then?"

"Before that," I reassured her, smoothing a hand over her hair softly.

I sat down with my own breakfast, finishing just in time for my mother to arrive along with Bella's parents, Charlie and Renee. Bella launched herself off of her chair at the sight of her parents and into her father's arms as she dissolved into tears again. My mother offered me one of her kind smiles as Renee clasped her hands over mine and led me away a few feet.

"Thank you Edward, for taking care of my girl. You've always been her safe haven." Renee whispered.

"Don't mention it, Renee. I'd do anything for her, you know that."

She smiled and squeezed my hand. "I know. You grew up into a fine man, though I'm sure I should be crediting your mother for that," She said, turning to my mom. "You know, I always hoped these two would end up together."

I couldn't tell her that I hoped for the same so instead I smiled weakly and excused myself to make another pot of coffee. As I walked away I heard my mother whisper to Renee, "I prayed for the same, Renee." I saw mom shoot a hesitant glance at Bell and then myself before turning back to Renee. "Maybe there's still hope for that though."

I reached the coffee maker and set to working brewing a new pot. I was staring blankly at the dark, dripping liquid when a strong hand clapped me on the shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. I spun on my heels and came face to face with Charlie Swan.

"How is she?" I asked.

"I should be asking you that question."

"She's been a little hit or miss. Sometimes she seems ok, joking or laughing and then she'll just start crying again. She's tough, I think she'll be ok in time."

He considered that for a moment and then nodded. "So, she never did tell me why you didn't come to the wedding, except to say that you couldn't make it. Seemed a little odd to me. Clearly you weren't out of town."

I briefly considered making something up like work or illness but Charlie spent his life listening to liars and he'd known me for most of my life. He was sure to see right through me. Better to just go with the truth. "I just couldn't go, sir. I never liked James and I couldn't support her marrying him."

Charlie was very quiet for a minute before speaking. "Well, son, then it appears you have more balls than either me or my son. We both hated him but we went along with it for Bella. Renee told us we were being over-protective but I knew he was no good. Shoulda listened to my gut."

"And done what?" I asked bluntly. "Tell her not to marry him? Forbid it? She's a grown woman and she's stubborn as hell. You know that. She wouldn't have listened to either of you. She obviously didn't listen to me."

"Yeah, I guess you're right but at least you told her how you felt. I was too worried about pissing her off and pushing her further into his arms to let her know that I disapproved."

"Honestly? I hate the way it happened but at least it happened now and not a few years down the road when their lives were more entangled or, God forbid, after there were children involved. It's over and done with, nothing to do but help her move on."

"When'd you get so smart, young man?" Charlie asked with a chuckle.

I laughed, "Charlie, don't know if you noticed but I'm not that young anymore and definitely not that smart."

"Well, I guess now we need to get her moved out of that house." He said, changing the subject. "You think you can help me and Emmett move her stuff over to my place?"

"Sir, she's moving in here. We talked about it last night and I told her she could have the spare room. She's already embarrassed enough without the stigma of moving back in with her parents at twenty-seven. No offense."

Charlie considered this for a moment and I could see him working something out in his head but he eventually mumbled his approval. "Just take care of her, will ya?"

"Course Charlie, I always do."

The coffee was done by then and he helped me carry mugs out to the women in the living room. Bella was done crying for now, though her eyes were still puffy and red. Mom and Renee sat on either side of her. I was unsure of what to say, and focused my attention on the cup of coffee in my hands as I sat in an armchair off to the side.

After a few minutes of small talk, Charlie said his goodbyes to Bella and excused himself to go to work. Bella slipped into my room to change into her own clothing while I made a few work calls, making sure I didn't need to go into the office for anything in the next few days. When I made my way back into the living room, I heard Renee and Alice making arrangements to get Bella's things out of James' house.

"I've got Jasper and Emmett lined up to help with the heavy lifting. We just need to figure out where to put it. She's going to be staying with you?" Alice asked Renee as I lowered myself into an armchair.

"Yes, I think so," Renee stated, "at least until she finds a new place. We can put some of it in the garage and maybe get a storage unit for the rest?"

"She's staying here," I interrupted quietly but firmly. All three women turned and looked at me, their mouths agape.

"What?" Renee asked.

"We talked about it last night. I told her she could have the spare room and she accepted. I just need to move some stuff out of there." I hazarded a glance at Renee who seemed confused and possibly a little dejected.

"Oh, well I'd be willing to help you with that if you don't mind," Alice piped up quickly.

"That would be great, Ali. You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not!"

"I'll help too," Mom added. "Why don't you come show us what needs to be moved and where you want us to put it."

I took them to the spare bedroom and explained what I wanted done with everything. I also took them to the garage and the basement, showing them where there was space to store Bella's things so they could show Emmett and Jasper if I wasn't around. When we made our way back to the living room, Bella had emerged from my room and was engaged in a very serious discussion with her mother. Apparently, Renee had her heart set on her daughter coming home and wasn't too happy to learn that it wouldn't be happening.

Bella stood her ground, insisting she was far too old to live with her parents. "Mom, I love you but I'm too old to move home. I feel pathetic enough as it is. I'll be ok here. Edward and I always take care of each other. You know that."

"Come home and let me take care of you. I just want you to be happy."

Bella snorted loudly and shook her head. "Ha, it's a little late for that." She quickly dissolved into tears again, burying her face in her hands as she rose from the couch. "I think I'm going to go lay down."

As she walked towards my bedroom, I sidestepped until I was standing in her path and placed my arms on her arms softly. "Are you ok?" I whispered.

"I just need a minute."

I nodded and let her go, watching her scurry into my room, closing the door behind her.

"Maybe I should go check on her?" Renee announced.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said. Renee arched an eyebrow as she stared me down for a second. Bella loved her mother but they were completely different people and had the tendency to butt heads. No, that's an understatement. More often than not, Renee drove Bella utterly insane. Renee was flighty and fickle where Bella was steadfast and determined.

If Bella needed a minute, it was to get away from her mother and I wasn't about to let her just waltz in there and upset her further. To prove my point, I stepped in front of the door to the bedroom and crossed my arms, staring back. My mom and Alice stood quite still, their eyes darting back and forth between us like they were watching a match at Wimbledon.

"That's my daughter."

"And she needs a minute."

"I think I know what my baby needs."

"I think she's a grown woman and can decide her needs for herself."

"She's hurting. She doesn't know what she needs."

"I beg to differ. She said she needs a minute," I repeated, "and a minute is what she'll get. Now I appreciate everyone's help. I really do and I know Bella does as well but I think she needs a day to decompress. So, Alice if you could get with Mary and arrange a time, maybe tomorrow or the next day, to move Bella's stuff without that dickhead around, that would be great. My schedule is clear so you just make sure it works for Jazz and Em but not before tomorrow. Give her a day."

My mom and Alice nodded in understand but Renee wasn't going to give up that easily. "Are you kicking us out?"

"With all due respect Mrs. Swan, that's exactly what I'm doing. I think Bella needs some time alone."

"And why do you get to stay?"

"Well, it is my house," I said slowly, trying to remain calm. Did she really not see how overwhelmed Bella got by the slightest of remarks? Did she not know her own daughter well enough to know that having a room full of people, family or not, staring at her with pity and sadness was the last thing she needed right now? I didn't like keeping a mother from her daughter but Bella was my priority, not Renee.

My mom immediately stepped in, pulling Renee aside and whispering to her as my little sister approached me. "Impressive, and to think that just yesterday I worried you'd stopped caring about her, but I think I get it now. I think you care too much."

"Alice," I warned.

"Don't worry, big brother. I won't tell." With that she lifted herself on the tips of her toes, placed her hands on my shoulders and kissed my cheek.

Somehow, my sainted mother convinced Renee that Bella was in good hands, reminding her that she'd said as much herself just minutes earlier. She and Alice ushered Renee out the door, roping her into helping with the returning of the wedding gifts to keep her distracted.

With the house finally empty, I carefully opened the door to my bedroom. Bella was lying on her stomach, face buried in her crossed arms. I walked to the bed and lowered myself on it, propping myself up against the bedframe.

"B?"

"I'm fine," she mumbled against her arms, not lifting her head.

"You're not but that's ok. Everyone left. It's just you and me, and you don't need to be strong for me."

She lifted her head slightly and looked up at me. Her tear-soaked, waterlogged eyes nearly broke my heart. She scooted towards me and I opened my arms to her, letting her rest her head against my chest. Her arm draped across my stomach, wrapping around my side and clinging to me tightly as she let the tears consume her. I felt completely helpless. There was nothing I could do but wrap my arms around her and let her cry against me, her tears quickly soaking through the thin cotton of my t-shirt.

We sat that way for a long time, Bella's tiny body racked with sobs as I smoothed my hands over her hair. I said nothing, knowing nothing I could say would help her right now. Instead I ran my hands over her hair soothingly until she calmed.

"I hate crying over him," she finally whispered, breaking the silence.

"You're allowed to be hurt."

"I don't want to hurt. I want to be angry."

"Then be angry, Bella."

"I am," she breathed. "I'm so fucking angry."

"It's ok to be both."

"No. If I let myself be hurt then I'll do nothing but this for days."

"If that's what you need then I'll sit here and hold you for days. You can't will yourself not to feel something." _Believe me baby, I've already tried. _

"Maybe not," she admitted, "but I can will myself to get out of this bed and try to move the fuck on. He doesn't deserve this. I'm not giving him any more power over me."

I couldn't argue with that. "Ok, what do you want to do?"

"Remember that semester when neither of us had early morning class on Tuesdays and we would have Margarita Mondays? Can we do that? I need tequila." She looked up at me and genuinely smiled through the tears. I would have agreed to anything for that smile.

"Well, it's Saturday but, sure, I guess we could do that."

She leapt off of me in a flash suddenly energized by having something to focus on other that her grief. "Can we get Mexican too? We always had Mexican on Margarita Mondays."

"Of course. You do realize we'll have to go out and pick some stuff up, right? I don't even have tequila, let alone margarita mix or Mexican food fixings except a bottle of hot sauce and maybe a bag of tortilla chips."

With that she was brought back down to reality and her face fell. "I don't want to go out. What if we run into someone?"

"Bella, I will go pick it up by myself if that's what you want. But you do realize that at some point, you will have to face the world, right? Why not meet it head on, get it over with. It's just one store. We'll be in and out and then we'll hit a drive-thru for the food. What do you say?"

She considered this for a moment before slumping her shoulders and dropping her head. "Alright, let's get it over with. But I get to borrow your baseball hat and your sunglasses."

"Fine, though anyone who might recognize you will probably also recognize me and therefore know immediately who the incognito brunette by my side is."

"It's not friends of ours that I'm hiding from. It's friends of his."

"Fair enough." I handed her my favorite baseball cap and my sunglasses and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her in them. "Jesus, Bell, you look like one of those young Hollywood types trying to dodge the paparazzi. Would you also like me to shield you from their cameras with my jacket? Should we take an umbrella to hit the paps with? Get our Britney Spears on?"

She scowled and slapped my arm but there was also just the tiniest underlying hint of amusement as well. "Let's just get this over with."

We hopped in the car and made the quick trek to the store. Bella seemed intent on filling our cart with as much booze as it would hold while I focused on actual food and bottles of water. She was a grown woman and considering what that asshole put her through, I couldn't begrudge her a little binge behavior but I could try to lessen the morning after impact of that behavior by making sure we were both well hydrated and had full stomachs since I knew I'd be dragged along on her binge. I knew it was a bit irresponsible but if it helped to ease her pain even temporarily, I couldn't say no.

After the grocery store, we hit up a drive-thru and ordered an unreasonable amount of food before heading home. Once home, I dove right into the task of devouring my tacos while Bella busied herself with the blender. Within minutes of arriving home, she'd whipped up a batch of frozen margaritas that was more alcohol that anything.

_Note to self: take over task of mixing drinks from here on out._

Bella impressively downed most of her all-tequila-margarita in one large gulp before digging into her plate of nachos. "This was a good idea," she mumbled, mouth full of chips and cheese. "I feel better already."

"Not sure you'll agree in the morning," I replied, earning myself another slap on the arm.

"Meh," she said with a shrug.

"Babe, I'm on board with the drink-the-pain-away plan, if you think it will help. But you said it yourself, he's not worth all this. Certainly not worth any more hangovers. So, if you expect me to get blitzed with you then I'm going to insist on a glass of water between drinks, for the sake of our livers."

"Fine."

"Ok. Now pass me that hot sauce."

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><p>Nachos and margaritas make everything better, right? See you Wednesday.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Hi all. I just want to thank all of you who have had some really encouraging things to say. You have no idea what it means to me to hear that. This is only the second story I've shared and it's still a bit new and scary to me. I appreciate a bit of constructive criticism too as it makes me consider things I hadn't before. So, again, big thanks to everyone who has taken the time to drop me a line.

I don't own Twilight still, just my mistakes.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**EPOV**

Bella was drunk.

Not just tipsy or on her way to drunk. No, she was three sheets to the wind, shitfaced, hammered, completely plastered and though I tried to take it easy, I was a little tipsy myself. When she'd gotten a little heavy-handed with the tequila earlier I knew she had hoped it would help her forget about James.

It hadn't.

What it did do was make her angry and suddenly everything she'd ever been mad at James for was out in the open. There was nothing I could do but listen amusedly as recounted his every fault.

"D'ja know he doesn't even know how t' do laundry?" she asked me in disbelief. "Seriously, he's no idea. Before me, his mom did it for him. He's fucking thirty!"

I didn't say anything but I did my best to suppress my laughter. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy hearing these things about him. I wasn't perfect but at least I can do my own damn laundry.

"God, he was such a mama's boy!" she continued. "I dunno why I even 'greed to marry him. Was more like adopting a kid than marrying a man. Couldn't do nuthin for himself and certainly couldn't be bothered to do much for me. Man wouldn even go down on me."

I couldn't help but spit margarita across the room before mumbling an apology and mopping up the mess with the leftover napkins from dinner. Of all the complaints I expected to hear, I'd never expected to hear one quite that personal.

"Don't ever let me marry someone who won't go down! Selfish fuck."

I couldn't argue with that. What kind of man doesn't want to pleasure his woman? Especially when that woman is as beautiful as she was. Given the chance, I would worship at her shrine every single day but I couldn't tell her that. I didn't know what to say but I knew I was not going to discuss her sex life with that motherfucker. "Bella," I groaned, hoping she would sense my discomfort and change the subject.

"I'm serious! D'ja know how hard it is to cum from just sex? With no extra help or nuthin? It's really fucking hard!"

"B, please!" I moaned. I couldn't talk to her like this. We'd talked about sex plenty in the past but everything was different now and hearing that kind of talk from her sweet, perfect lips nearly caused my brain to explode, not to mention the swelling in my pants.

Her eyes widened in surprise at my obvious embarrassment. "What? Didn think you was a prude, E. Specially after talkin to Tan bout ya."

"What?" I cried. "You talked to Tanya about sex?" This was a new revelation. I knew they were friendly but I'd never thought they were that close.

"Course," she laughed. I was suddenly very, very worried. "Relax, would ya. She had nuttin but nice things to say. Real nice! Matter a fact, she said you were the best she ever had. So, cheers to you, sir."

She held out her glass but I couldn't muster the strength to lift my own and left her hanging.

"Whatsa matter? Touchy subject? Has it been a while?"

"No, yes, Bella, it's just…, fuck, never mind. Can we talk about something else?"

"Fine," she sighed, laying back on the couch and propping her feet in my lap. "If you rub my feet like you use ta we can talk 'bout whatever you want."

She didn't even need to ask. Instinctively I'd already pulled her foot into my hands and began kneading the pad of her tiny foot.

"Shit tha's good," she moaned and I nearly lost it again. Maybe this was also a bad idea. "Forgot how good you are at that."

"Well, you're drunk. Everything feels good when you're drunk," I laughed nervously, hoping she wouldn't pick up on my unease.

"No, seriously. Keep it up an' I'll marry you myself just for the foot massages." My fingers froze for a second and my entire body stiffened but I didn't say a word. What could I possible say to that? "Jesus, relax. I just teasing. Sheesh, Edward, I didn know the idea of being married to me was soooo unpleasant. I'm hurt. No one want's ta marry Bella."

"Bella, that's not…" I mumbled. The idea was quite the opposite of unpleasant but I couldn't tell her that. Not right now anyway.

She laughed, cutting me off and pulled her feet from my lap and sat up tucking them back underneath herself

"Oh God! I'm fuckin with you. When you lose your sense of humor?"

"I'm sorry, maybe I'm just drunk," I mumbled.

"Bullshit!" she cried, seeing through my flimsy excuse. "You been nursing that one drink all night."

"And it was almost straight tequila, you little lush," I teased. "What do you expect?" I flashed her a smile to let her know that everything was cool but she saw right though me.

"Wha's wrong?" she asked. I shook my head, still trying to play off my weirdness as nothing more than too much tequila. "Come on," she begged, not buying it for a second. "Something's up with you and I'm sick of dealing with my own shit. Lemme help ya out."

"Bella, just drop it," I growled, bringing my glass to my lips and downing more in one sip than I'd had all night long. _Shit! _It burned like a motherfucker but at least it gave me something else to focus on for a few seconds.

If it was anyone else, asking them to drop the subject would have been enough to prompt a change in conversation. But, that's not the way we worked. We didn't let each other stew over anything and there was nothing we couldn't tell each other. That coupled with her copious alcohol consumption meant there was no way in hell she was going to let this go. I'd dug myself a grave and it would take every ounce of self-preservation I owned to get out of this mess without giving in and confessing everything to her.

She scooted across the couch until her knees hit my thigh and then rested her head on my shoulder, looking up at me with the big puppy dog eyes that always made me crack. "C'mon Edward. Tell Bella all about it." _Oh, she was playing hardball. _

"You're drunk," I replied.

"Which makes me perfect ta tell your sorrows to!" she insisted. "Ya know I'll give you my 'pinion straight up."

"Maybe that's what I'm afraid of, Baby Bell." I looked away, unable to look into those big, beautiful brown eyes any longer without becoming a puddle at her feet. My lack of eye contact only served to piss her off.

In one swift motion she threw her leg over me until she was seated in my lap, straddling me, and took my face in her tiny hands. "Wha the fuck, Cullen? You tell me everything. I tell you everything. That's our deal. Ever an ever!" I could barely breathe and quickly began recalling every disgusting image I could possibly muster to keep from becoming rock-hard and completely freaking her right the fuck out.

"Forever and ever," I corrected. "You can't even say it right, you're so drunk. Why should I tell you anything?" It was harsh and mean but I had to get her off of my lap. My self-control was crumbling by the second. I couldn't do this right now. My heart had been hanging on by a thread for years, ready to crumble completely when suddenly a light came on at the end of a tunnel. I was trying to be patient. I was trying to be good, to do the right thing for my friend but, fuck if she wasn't making it hard.

"Cuz, I'm your best friend an we don keep shit from each other," she snapped, refusing to budge and not releasing my face from her grasp.

"I'm allowed to have secrets, Isabella," I barked, becoming desperate now, "even from you."

She dropped my face and leaned away a bit, recoiling as if she'd just been slapped. I took the opportunity to place my hands on her waist and lift her from my lap. I sat her back on the couch but she shook off her stunned surprise just in time to wrap her arms around my neck again. I pushed her away as gently as I could but she held on tightly and as a result nearly pulled me down on top of her.

"Fuckin talk to me, asshole!" she cried.

"You're a Goddamn pain in the ass when you're drunk. You know that right?" I snapped, one arm on the couch, holding my body up and off of hers while the other tried to pry her arms from around my neck.

"Yup," she said with a smile and a nod. "So, you better just tell me what's wrong."

I hovered over her for a fraction of a second, her hands still clasped behind my neck, her right leg thrown over mine, keeping me in place. Our impromptu wrestling match brought a smile to my lips as I recalled the way we used to fight over the last Oreo as children or the remote in college. In that moment, it felt like old times, when everything was easy and comfortable. She looked up at me and smiled, possibly recalling the same memories I was. We were frozen for a second, just staring at each other.

_Kiss her! _A voice in my head cried. _This is your chance. Kiss her!_ I came very close to giving in. To lowering my body to hers and capturing her lips with my own but another, louder voice stopped me. _No! No, no no! She's drunk. You've been drinking._ _This is not the time._

I didn't want to, Lord knows how much I didn't want to, but I had to listen to the second voice because I knew it was right. She was drunk. She trusted me. I was her friend and I was supposed to be safe. I couldn't take advantage of her. I couldn't betray that.

"Stop it Bella," I roared, carefully pulling her arms from my neck and practically throwing myself back and off the couch. "Enough, alright?"

Stunned, she pulled herself back up to a sitting position and nodded meekly. It was clear she'd been offended by my refusal to talk but there wasn't much I could do about it. With any luck she'd forget all about it in the morning or write it off as alcohol related. It didn't matter, it would be much easier to get past than the near molestation I'd almost committed.

"I need a shower," I mumbled, looking for an excuse to be alone with my thoughts for a second. "Think you can avoid giving yourself alcohol poisoning for ten minutes until I get out?" I realized as soon as I said it that it might have sounded a little meaner than I'd intended. I smiled to let her know I was just teasing, trying desperately to get my mind back in that best friend mode after my near slip up.

"I'll try," she said with a laugh, "you know how I hate hospitals."

"How could I forget," I said with a smile as another memory flooded my mind.

_**July 1998**_

_It was the hottest day of the summer but neither Bella nor I minded. It was the summer before sixth grade and we'd spent most of it at the newly erected park just down the street from my house. There were usually plenty of other kids around to play with but not that day. Everyone it seemed was down at the pool and we had plans to join them just as soon as my dad finished mowing the lawn and gave us a ride. _

_We'd just been messing around on the playground when it happened. I'd been teasing Bella about something stupid and she began chasing me. I clamored to the top of the giant dome climbing thing and laughed mockingly at her. She climbed up after me and once she reached the top, threw her arm out to smack me, but she never connected. Instead, she lost her balance and being so small, fell right through the big gaps in the dome. It was only a fall of three or four feet onto sand but I knew when I heard the crunch that she was in trouble. _

_I jumped from my perch and hurried to Bella who was huddled in a heap on the ground, sobbing. "Are you ok?" I asked, touching her shoulder lightly. _

_She rolled over, tears streaming down her dirt stained face as she clutched her arm to her chest. I might have been just an innocent twelve year old, but I knew immediately that the angle of her arm was just not right. _

"_I'll go get my dad," I said quickly, not sure what else I could do. _

_Bella shook her head and grabbed my arm with her good hand. "NO! Don't leave me here. Please Edward."_

"_Ok," I said quickly, pulling that good arm over my shoulder as I helped her to her feet. "Come on then." _

_She leaned on me heavily, crying against my shoulder as we made our way down the street to my house. My dad was still working in the yard, running the weed-whacker up and down the edges of the lawn. I heard the machine go dead and fall to the ground as soon as we came into his view. Dad hurried to our side and took Bella's arm in his hands gingerly, inspecting her injury for just a second before scooping her into his arms and rushing to the house. I followed behind, practically running to keep up. _

"_Esme," dad called out when we reached the front door. "I need you to get Chief Swan or Renee on the phone, tell them to meet us at the hospital. Isabella's fractured her arm." _

_He snatched his keys off the little basket on the entryway table and then hurried back outside, carrying Bella to his car while I could do nothing but follow helplessly. It wasn't until he had her safely in the backseat that he acknowledged my presence. _

"_What happened?"_

_As quickly as I could, I told him about her falling from the dome at the playground and the sickening crunching sound I'd heard when she fell. Dad nodded along throughout my story as if he'd known what happened all along. As he opened his own door I hurried around the car and pulled the other door open, ready to climb into the backseat with Bella but dad stopped me. _

"_No, Edward. Stay here with your mother. I need to take care of Bella. I can't be keeping an eye on you too." _

"_I'll be good, dad," I begged. "I wanna come. For Bella." _

"_I know son, but if you come with me, you'll just be in the way. I'm sure your mother would be willing to bring you to the hospital in a few minutes." _

_My shoulders slumped but I knew by the tone of his voice that he meant business and I wasn't going to delay Bella getting help by whining and complaining. Fortunately, my mother was as eager to get to the hospital as I was as soon as she informed Bella's parents of the situation. _

_However, I hadn't realized that we'd be stuck in the waiting room. Bella's mom and dad showed up at the same time we did and were led straight back to her room while I was stuck sitting on stupid plastic chairs, staring at a stupid fishtank while my mom read stupid magazines. I didn't even know if Bella was ok and no one would tell me anything. _

_Finally, after about a million minutes, Bella's mom came back and told my mom that Bella had definitely broken her arm and needed a cast. Then she turned to me and said the words I'd been waiting for. "Edward, sweetie, would you like to come sit with Bella for a minute? She's been asking to see you." _

_I nodded eagerly and took her hand as she led me through the maze of the ER to a small room where Bella was lying on a bed. There was a chair next to her bed and I hurried over to it, taking her uninjured hand as I sat down. "I'm so sorry B!" I cried. "If I wasn't being such a jerk you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I promise I won't ever tease you again." _

"_Oh, shut up," she said, earning her a reprimand from her mother but she ignored her. "You know that's not true, butthead! Besides, I'm still going to tease you." _

_Bella's mom tried to reprimand her again but laughed instead. "Edward, dear, would you stay and keep her company for a few minutes? I need to fill out some paperwork and her dad is off with your father somewhere." _

"_Sure, Mrs. Swan."_

_She left us with a smile and wave. As soon as her mother was out of the room, Bella's entire face fell. "Do you know how long I have to be here?" she asked._

_I shook my head. "No one told me nothing."_

"_Crud. I hate it here. It smells funny and it feels weird. I just want to go home." _

"_I really am sorry, B." _

"_No, I'm sorry. Now we can't go swimming. Well I can't anyway. Your dad says I gotta wear a cast for a few weeks and I can't get it wet. So no swimming for me. But you can still go." _

"_Nuh-uh," I insisted. "If you're not going then I'm not going. It wouldn't be fun." She smiled for a second and then grimaced again in pain. "Does it still hurt?" I asked. _

_She nodded and hugged her arm to her chest again, blinking away tears. "They gave me some medicine but it still hurts a little. Mostly, I just want to go home." _

"_I can go look for my dad," I offered. "Maybe he can tell them to let you go?" _

"_No, don't leave me alone," she whispered. "I don't like it here. It really freaks me out." _

_It looked like she might start crying again and I didn't want that. I took her non-hurt hand in mine and held it tightly. "Don't worry, Bella, I'm not going anywhere." _

_I didn't either. I stayed by her side until they allowed her parents to take her home and then the two of us hung out all summer, finding alternative ways to stay cool. I didn't go swimming at all for the rest of that summer. _

_She never did get over her dislike for hospitals but that didn't stop her from repaying the favor and spending an entire afternoon at my hospital bedside two years later. I'd been participating in a school yard game of touch football that turned into tackle football when I got slammed to the ground by a monster of a kid named Felix during one play. When I couldn't put any weight on my left foot without extreme pain, I knew I was in trouble. But, just as I had for her years earlier, Bella put my arm over her shoulders and somehow supported my weight as we limped towards her home. _

_Her mother had thrown us both in the car and driven us straight to the emergency room where my dad was on duty. I told her she didn't have to stay, knowing her hatred for the ER, but she toughed it out and held my hand as we waited for x-rays and as they placed the cast on my foot. I didn't swim at all that summer either, and neither did Bella. _

**Present**

Alone in the shower, the more depraved parts of my mind took over, replaying the feeling of Bella's little body beneath mine until I found myself gripping my erection tightly. I gave in and let my hand slide up and down my hardened shaft, leaning against the cool shower tile, until I found my release in a mixture of ecstasy and guilt.

When I finally pulled myself from the shower and exited the bathroom, I found Bella sprawled across my bed, lying on top of the covers, her arms behind her head and her legs crossed at the ankle as if she'd been relaxing casually when she fell asleep. I knew this position. Many a time in college had I found her waiting for me like this, ready to discuss a bad date, a silly movie, or a difficult test. She'd been waiting to talk to me when sleep finally pulled her under. I felt a bit guilty about it but I was glad she'd passed out before I stepped from the shower. I was certainly no closer to an explanation for her now than I'd been before. Not one I was ready to admit to right now anyways.

I managed to coax her under the blanket and into a more comfortable sleeping position before grabbing the other pillow and making my way out to the couch. I certainly didn't trust myself to share a bed with her tonight.

Even out on the couch, sleep refused to come easily and I resigned myself to tossing and turning until the first rays of sunlight made their way through the window. After that I gave up, made a large pot of coffee and set to work cleaning up the spare bedroom, figuring I'd spare mom and Alice the trouble. There wasn't much in here, a bookshelf, file cabinet and a desk with my computer. Most of which could go in my makeshift studio in the den. I dug my tools out of the garage and had just finished dismantling my desk when my cell phone alerted me to a new text message from Alice.

_Mary forcing James to attend church and Sunday dinner as some sort of penance. Home will be clear all day to move B's stuff. Noon good for you?_

I quickly tapped out an affirmative reply and stepped up my pace, hoping to clear the room completely before noon so we could move Bella's things right in. Mostly, I just needed to stay busy, keep my mind focused on something other than my feelings for my oldest friend.

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><p>So, it seems there may be cracks in our boy's resolve. See you Friday when we go clear out Bella's stuff. :)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Hello all. I'm 1 away from 100 follows and 8 away from 50 reviews. I know these numbers are peanuts to some but it took me forever to get there with my first story so I'm thrilled to be here already. You guys are awesome. Time for poor Bella to go clean out her old life. It'll be smooth sailing right?

I own nothing but my mistakes.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**BPOV**

For the second morning in a row, I woke with a pounding headache and a less than settled stomach. Maybe it was time to find another way to deal with my anger and heartache, for the sake of my physical well-being at least. I wondered if Edward was faring as miserably as I was and rolled over carefully to check but all I found was an empty bed and a missing pillow. It was obvious that he hadn't slept here.

That's when it began to come back to me. Something had been bothering him and I'd harped on it until I'd made him completely uncomfortable. I felt like a complete bitch. Headache be damned, I needed to find him and apologize.

I pulled myself from the bed and ventured out to the living room, expecting to find him passed out on the couch but there was nothing there but the missing pillow from the bed. I smelled coffee in the kitchen and headed that way before a noise sent me in the direction of my old bedroom. There was a pile of dismantled furniture leaning against the wall in the hallway and as I stepped into the doorway I finally found him, sitting on the floor stacking books from his bookcase into a cardboard box.

His back was to me and I had to clear my throat to get his attention. "What are you doing?" I asked once he'd turned to face me.

"Oh, Ali arranged for us to go get your stuff today. I figured I should probably make room."

"Guess you're in a hurry to get your bed back huh?" I asked, attempting a joke to lighten the mood.

"What? No, Bella, you're welcome to everything I have. I just thought you'd want your own stuff sooner than later."

"I'm just messing with you, though I'm relieved to hear you say that since I don't actually have a bed anymore." He was quite still for a second and I worried that I was taking advantage of his kindness. "It's just that I got rid of my old bed when I moved in with him and we bought a new one together and, well, even though it is technically half mine, I just don't want that bed, the bed I shared with him. It seems tainted now."

"I can understand that."

"I'm sorry," I added quickly. "I think my parents still have my bed in my old room. I'll see if I can have Emmett or my dad bring it over. Until then, I'll sleep on the couch. I don't want to kick you out of your own bed any more than I already have."

"Bella, you haven't…"

"Yes, I have," I interrupted. "I know you spent last night on the couch and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pass out there last night. I just wanted to talk to you and I guess I was more tired than I thought. Well, drunk, I guess."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. I was being a totally nosy bitch last night and I'm sorry. I'd blame it on the alcohol but that feels like a copout. So I'll just apologize for being such a nag and making things weird."

He frowned and shook his head. "Bella, please don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. Let's just move past it, ok?"

I nodded as he went back to stacking books though it was clear that whatever was bugging him last night was still an issue but this time I would wait until he was ready to talk about it.

"Well, can I help you with this? When are we supposed to head over there?"

Edward looked up at me in surprise. "We? Bella you don't have to do this. We can handle it. You don't have to go over there."

"Yes I do. It's my stuff. I'm not going to make you run all my errands for me. You've done enough already."

"You know that's not the way I see it, right?" he asked.

"I know," I said with a small smile, "but that's what it is. I'm a grown woman. I can go pack up my old life and move the hell on already."

"It's only been two days, B. You're allowed to take your time healing."

"Two days is more than he deserves. I've already wasted three years on him and I don't want to waste any more time on that prick. So, I'm going to be a big girl and get my shit out of his house, besides it's too hard to try and explain everything that you guys would need to grab."

"Alright, fine. Alice, Jazz and your brother are coming with so we should be able to get it done pretty quickly. They'll be here at noon."

We didn't say much more but I helped him clear the bookshelf and take the shelves off before moving the empty case from the room. I felt horrible for making him rearrange his entire life like this for me but he refused to listen to my apologies, insisting he had plenty of room for this stuff in the den he used for his music.

"I should have moved it a long time ago anyway. It will actually make my life easier having it all in one place," he said matter-of-factly and that was that. I knew he was full of shit but I appreciated it all the same.

We made good time and got the room cleared out just as everyone else arrived. Emmett didn't understand my need to come along either but Alice understood.

"There are just things you don't realize you need until you see them in front you," she stated as I nodded in agreement.

"Exactly!" I cried. "Now can we go get this over with?"

Alice and Jazz had caught a ride over with Emmett and piled back into his truck as Edward and I followed in his car. It had only been two days yet my house seemed to be an entirely different place now. It felt cold and unwelcoming. Funny how knowing your whole life together had been a lie changes your perspective. I decided quickly that I didn't want to be there any longer than necessary and immediately began pointing out things that the boys could grab while Alice raided the closet, carefully tossing all of my clothing into boxes and bags before heading to the bathroom to grab all of my toiletries. I didn't bother sorting through anything. I could do that later. My plan of attack was simple. If it was mine, it went. Other than some pieces of furniture that I didn't really care about, there wasn't much that belonged to both James and I so that made the whole process much simpler. There was nothing worth fighting him over.

We were making great time and I felt I was handling the ordeal well until my eyes fell on a tiny velvet box on James' bedside table. I knew what it contained and I should have walked away but I was drawn to it. I waited until I was alone in the room and then opened the little box. My breath left my body as I saw the delicate diamond ring nestled inside. We hadn't reached that part of the ceremony before it had been interrupted so James must have gotten the ring back from his best man. This ring, which had once represented my love and future now felt like a hollow lie. It didn't look as sparkly anymore, it's shine dulled by the betrayal of the man who'd given it to me. All of my buried feelings bubbled to the surface and I fell to the floor sobbing.

Edward found me within minutes and pulled me from the floor and into his arms, carrying me out of the house. "You ok?" he asked as we sat together on the porch, my head resting against his shoulder.

I held out the box containing my wedding ring and he nodded in understanding as he took it from my hand and set it aside. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry against his shoulder until we heard the sound of a car door slamming.

"Wow Bells," a familiar voice called out from the driveway. I looked up as the man who'd been minutes away from becoming my husband strolled towards us. "You sure didn't waste any time. I knew you'd go running to him."

"What?" I cried as Edward's entire body tensed next to me.

"Look at the two of you. And on our front steps? I can't believe I thought you'd be good wife material."

I was so confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Bella. I admit, Vic interrupting the ceremony was inappropriate on her part, but really, this jilted bride thing you've got going on is a bit ridiculous. I always took care of you. We have this nice house, nice things. You would have wanted for nothing and I woulda even let you keep working, at least until the babies came along. But you had to get self-righteous and storm off and now you're here canoodling on my fucking porch with this guy who you always swore was 'practically familly.'" He sneered using air quotes to make his point.

I could do nothing but stare open mouthed in shock at what he was saying. I always knew that James was a bit traditional but I couldn't even believe this was the same man I'd agreed to marry. Edward was setting me aside and off the step in a flash. There was a loud crack as his fist connected with James' face.

"Stop," I cried as James regained his balance and tackled Edward to the ground. I could do nothing but yell as the two of them wrestled on the grass until Emmett and Jasper heard the commotion and barreled out of the house. Edward had James pinned to the ground and was hitting him repeatedly when Emmett pulled him off. My brother held Edward back as Jasper stood between them and a bleeding James.

"You motherfucker! Don't you ever fucking say shit like that about her!" Edward was screaming. "She was always too good for you. Way too fucking good. You have never fucking deserved her! You piece of shit!"

Alice had come outside and held me as I looked in horror from my best friend to my ex-fiancé. James looked at me and actually smiled, his mouth filled with blood before looking back to Edward. "Hmm, maybe I got it all wrong. You sad fuck," he jeered at Edward. "Shoulda known you were way too pansy to ever fucking tell her."

He didn't get a chance to say anything else before Jasper turned around and punched him hard right in the face, dropping him instantly and surprising the hell out of the rest of us. "What?" Jasper asked with a shrug, "everyone else got a turn. I was feeling left out."

I was still utterly stunned and confused by everything that had just happened, especially by the vitriol that James had been spewing. I had a million questions but didn't get the chance to ask them before Alice ushered me to Edward's car. Edward was still seething and Emmett had to damn near force him into the backseat of the car with me as Alice took the keys and slipped into the driver's seat. As she pulled away from my former home, she informed me that Emmett and Jazz would deal with James and load up the last of my things before meeting us at Edward's house. Jasper would be driving my own car over as well, something that hadn't even crossed my mind after all the drama of the fight.

As Alice sped down the street I turned to Edward and noticed his hand was injured. I didn't say anything but pulled his hand into my own and inspected it. His knuckles were cracked and bleeding and my heart broke knowing that it was all my fault. He'd been hurt defending me. It seemed everything I did caused him trouble and pain. I'd kicked him out of his own bed, forced him to rearrange his home and now he was bleeding for me. I was possibly the worst friend in the entire world.

I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it softly. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What are you talking about? You have nothing to apologize for," he snapped, pulling his hand away.

"You're hurt because of me."

"I'm fine, Bella, and it's not because of you. It's because of that little fuck and I'll be damned if I let you apologize for him."

He was still very angry and so I chose not to argue with him. Instead I slid over and rested my head against his shoulder. "Well, thank you for defending me then."

He sighed in frustration but still whispered "you're welcome," against my forehead and rested his head against mine.

Once we reached home he reluctantly allowed me to pull him into the bathroom and run cool water over his bleeding knuckles. He scowled at me as I fussed over him but didn't fight me and even allowed me to rub a bit of Neosporin over his cracked skin before wrapping them in some gauze. It might have been overkill but I just wanted to be able to take care of him in some small way, the way he always took care of me.

By the time we exited the bathroom, Emmett and Jasper had arrived and Edward joined them in carting in all of my stuff as Alice and I began putting clothes away in my new closet. It was all we really could put away since I still had no furniture for my room. Emmett agreed to bring over my childhood bed from our parent's house in the morning but I still needed new bedding and maybe a desk to work at. Of course, once she realized my dilemma, Alice was more than ready to help me rectify that.

So, Alice and I went shopping while the boys decided to hit the gym for a little stress release. Alice managed to wait until we were lying on our backs on a display bed in the middle of Bed, Bath, and Beyond before she asked about the fight.

"What happened, Bella? I know Edward was looking for any reason to hit him, but what did James say to make him fly off the handle like that."

I exhaled loudly and turned to face her. "Oh my God, Alice, you should have heard him. He basically said that because he was a good provider that I should have shut up and married him and let him do whatever, and whoever, he wanted like a good little housewife. He even said he would have_ let me_ keep working until the babies came. _Let me! _Who the hell was I about to marry?"

"An asshole."

"Right? He also implied that I had already rebounded with Edward. That we were hooking up or whatever right there on the damn porch on a Sunday afternoon!"

"He did not!"

I nodded. "He did."

"He is so full of shit!" Alice cried out and sat up quickly, causing more than a few looks in our direction. I was mortified but Alice, of course, couldn't care less. "That is just ridiculous.

"Alice," I begged. "Would you please keep your voice down? I've had enough attention for one week"

"Sorry. I just can't believe he would say something like that. The idea is just ludicrous. I mean you and Edward? That's insane. He would never."

Though I couldn't argue with what she was saying, the way she said it stung a bit, surprising even me. "Right, because your brother wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole, is that what you're saying?"

"What? No. Bella, that is definitely not what I meant. You were just in a relationship with someone else. One that ended badly. You know Edward, he's a good guy. He isn't the type to sweep in and take advantage of that kind of situation and he certainly wouldn't be doing it on some other guy's front step. I mean, seriously!"

I couldn't help but laugh, knowing that she was right. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm a little sensitive and insecure," I said, trying to explain my bizarre reaction.

"I understand," Alice replied. "Your fiance was seeing someone else on the side. That's a blow to anyone's ego. For the record," she added, "if you weren't his oldest friend in the world, I'm sure my brother would totally try to get in your pants. In fact, I'm kind of surprised he never tried."

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence but let's move on now. I think we're venturing into 'weird' territory."

We both laughed it off though I caught Alice shooting me strange glances here and there as we moved on to look at more comforters until I found one I liked. As we continued on to pillows I considered the offense I'd taken by Alice's earlier comment. In the back of my mind was a niggling idea that there was more to it than merely my fragile ego. I shook that thought off as ridiculous. Edward and I have never been anything more than the best of friends, why should I be bothered by the insinuation that anything more between us was impossible? It's not like I ever expected or even wanted anything more between us. Right? I shook off that line of thinking as nothing more than those of a wounded ego and silenced my doubt by inflicting serious damage on my credit card with new bedding, pillows, curtains, a new desk and more.

Since my bed wouldn't be arriving until morning I knew I'd be spending the night on the couch but I didn't mind. I also knew Edward would fight me on it but he wouldn't win. Not this time. There was no way I would let him cram his large body onto that little couch two nights in a row. It just wasn't going to happen.

Seeing James and hearing him confirm his affair had given me a sickening realization. The girl was pregnant and so clearly he'd fucked her unprotected. I was on the pill and believed we were monogamous so we'd quit using condoms months ago. _Shit. _

"Al," I asked once we were back in the privacy of the car. "Do you think your dad would do a blood test for me?"

"A blood test? What for?" she asked. I just stared and watched as understanding spread across her face. "Oh. Oh, shit. Yeah, I bet he will. He's on call today. Let me call and see if he can help you out.."

Alice called her dad who encouraged me to stop in as soon as possible, promising to squeeze us in discreetly. We went straight over and Carlisle's PA, Maggie, ushered us right back to an exam room. Alice held my hand as Maggie tested me for every possible STD there was. Carlisle, while more than willing to do the testing himself, had thought I might be more comfortable with a woman performing some of the more invasive tests. He was definitely right about that. It would help us both avoid any potentially awkward future family get-togethers. Once the testing was finished, Carlisle came in and promised to call me with the results the moment he received them. Before we left he pulled me into a strong fatherly hug.

"Don't let that no good, sonofabitch get you down, Bella-girl. He was never going to be good enough for you. But Esme and I love you like one of our own and if you need anything at all, you just call, ok?"

I was slightly stunned, having never heard Carlisle curse in the two decades that I'd known him but his kind concern threatened to make me cry again.

"Thank you," I replied, my voice cracking as I attempted to hold back tears. "For helping me out. I know it's awkward but…"

"Shh, oh sweetheart, don't you worry about it," he said reassuringly, placing a comforting hand on my own. "I'm so glad you called. This was an important thing to do and you did the right thing by getting it out of the way, not just for your health but to help you move on from this unfortunate situation." His nurse knocked then, letting him know his next patient was ready so he excused himself, giving my hand a small squeeze and kissing Alice on the top of her head as he went.

On the way home we stopped in at the grocery store and bought some things for dinner. The last time we'd lived together Edward had been content to get most of his meals from a drive-thru window or a delivery boy and from what I'd seen of his refrigerator lately, it was clear that not much had changed. However, I was not twenty-one anymore and my stomach refused to survive on a steady influx of fast food. It was time the man learned the value of a good home-cooked meal, whether he liked it or not.

I dropped Alice off at home before heading back to Edward's. He was still out with Jasper and Emmett but Alice had talked to them just before I dropped her off and I knew he'd be home soon. So, I quickly set to work making dinner. I'd done nothing but take advantage of his friendship all weekend. It was time I started paying it back a bit.

I heard the door open just as I was finishing up dinner but I had my hands full and couldn't greet him. "Hey, I'm in here!" I called out.

"Dear God in heaven, what is that amazing smell?" he said just before stepping into the kitchen. He saw me standing by the stove and his eyes lit up. "Holy shit. Did you cook?"

"Yup, hope that's ok. You haven't eaten yet have you?"

"Are you kidding? Of course it's ok. I'm starving." He stepped closer and looked over my shoulder. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Blackened chicken alfredo," I said with a smile, knowing it was one of his favorites. "Oh, and there is garlic bread too."

Edward groaned in appreciation. "Do I have time to clean up a bit? I'm all sweaty and gross."

"You've got about five minutes."

"I'll be back in four!" he called, already halfway to his bedroom, tugging his shirt off. "Don't start without me."

I heard the water turn on as I pulled out a couple of plates and set the table. I was just setting the food on the table when he returned, looking a bit like a little boy on Christmas morning.

"Settle down would you? It's just food," I teased.

"It's food that didn't come from a paper bag and I didn't have to schlep over and beg my mother for it either. I don't think you understand how exciting this is for me." He took a set and quickly began piling pasta onto his plate.

"Maybe you should learn to cook."

"I make a mean breakfast," he insisted.

I chuckled, "Ok, well maybe you should expand your skill set."

"Why? I have you now."

I scowled at him and he laughed before turning his attention back to the meal in front of him. I was twirling pasta around my own fork when I heard Edward moan.

"Goddamn, this is so good I could kiss you."

I smirked and raised an eyebrow in question as Edward looked at me and froze. "Sorry, was that weird?"

"Nah, it was a compliment, right?"

"The highest."

We laughed it off and finished our meal, Edward eating so much I thought I might have to roll him away from the table like Violet Beauregard in _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_. After dinner he helped me clear the table and together we made quick work of the clean-up, chatting casually as we rinsed dishes. He didn't bring up the incident with James earlier that day and neither did I. We usually didn't shy away from any topic but I wasn't going to ruin our pleasant dinner by bringing my asshole ex into it.

"So, you wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked once the kitchen was clean.

"I would but I've actually got a project due soon that I've been neglecting. I really should try to work on that."

"Oh, right, of course," I replied, surprised to find that I was actually a bit disappointed. "You do what you've gotta do. Maybe I'll just read a bit."

"Thank you for dinner, B. It was so delicious."

"No problem."

He smiled and hesitated slightly before turning away and heading into the den towards his piano. I walked to my new bedroom and slipped into some old sweat pants and a tank top. I rifled through a few of the boxes until I found a book to read and grabbed one of my new pillows and a blanket before heading out to the living room.

I could hear Edward playing lightly as I settled onto the couch. I didn't know exactly what kind of game he was working on now but what I heard was lovely, too lovely to be wasted on a video game. I'd forgotten how much I loved to hear him play. When we were kids I used to come over to his house after his lessons and he would try to teach me what he'd learned but it was hopeless. After more than a few frustrating sessions, I gave up on trying to learn and settled for just listening to him practice. He never hesitated to play for me when I was having a bad day, knowing that it always cheered me up.

With my book forgotten, I closed my eyes, letting the music work its magic once again until all my worries and stresses melted away.

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><p>Anyone else get the feeling that Edward had that punch locked and loaded for a long time? LOL.<p>

Anyways, these kids are stubborn but there are cracks appearing on the ice.


	9. Chapter 9

Is ff not working on firefox for anyone else? I've been so confused this morning. I could read updates on my phone (chrome) but when I went on my laptop to post, couldn't get on. Finally had to download chrome to update. Must be Monday. So, because it's Monday, I'lll shut up and let you get to it.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**EPOV**

This was not working. I desperately needed to make some headway on this project; a fun lighthearted game geared towards preschoolers and featuring a talking frog. It should have been an easy payday. However, the music that flowed from my fingertips across the top of my piano was soft, romantic and maybe a little melancholic. It was a direct representation of my current inner turmoil. She'd made me the most delicious dinner and for a moment as we ate together I almost forgot that we weren't a couple. Then the sting of my cracked knuckles brought me back to reality and I'd had to try really fucking hard to hide the hatred for James that began to bubble to the surface once more. I was full of anger and rage but also longing, sadness, love, and adoration and it all came out in the music I played but all of it was wrong for the title I was working on.

After an hour and a half, I had nothing more than I had when I'd sat down and decided that a break was in order. I cracked my back and stretched a bit before heading to the kitchen for a beer. On my way there my eyes drifted to the living room, immediately falling on the couch where Bella lay fast asleep. The beer remained safe in the fridge as I veered into the living room instead.

As I neared her sleeping form I noticed the book, lying open and face down across her chest bringing a smile to my face. I couldn't begin to count the number of times I'd found her in a similar position over the years. Careful not to wake her, I picked up the book and found a scrap of paper to mark her place before setting it on the coffee table. She was particular about her books. Once in junior high I'd folded the corner of a book I'd borrowed from her to mark my place and it was months before she let me hear the end of it.

Knowing full well that Bella deserved a better place to sleep, I slipped my arms underneath her and lifted her tiny frame from the couch. She moaned lightly and nestled her head against my shoulder as I carried her to my room. I laid her gently on the bed and was struck yet again by how beautiful she was, how beautiful she'd always been. I let one finger caress the side of her cheek, my heart aching with the realization that I was destined to be close to her but never close enough. These stolen caresses were likely all I would ever have. Knowing that I was just torturing myself, I shook my head, hoping to clear out those thoughts and stood to leave.

"Don't go," a small voice whispered in the dark.

I turned and searched for her face in the dark. Her eyes were still closed, and she appeared to be sleeping soundly. I stood frozen in place, watching her until she spoke again.

"Please," she begged quietly, "don't."

I knew she was sleeping, that her pleas were a result of whatever dream she was having and not directed at me personally but that didn't stop me from sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a hand on her small shoulder.

"I'm here, Bella," I said softly.

"Need you," she murmured, tugging at my t-shirt. "Don't go. I don't want to be alone."

"Alright alright, scooch over." I said, conceding defeat.

She wiggled a bit but didn't really go anywhere. I just sighed, wondering what I really expected from a sleeping woman as I pulled free from her grasp. She moaned a bit and reached out as I hurried around to the other side of the bed.

Thankful that I was wearing a loose, comfortable pair of basketball shorts instead of jeans, I slipped into bed and pulled her to me. Bella nuzzled into my chest, placing her hand over my heart. She gave a contented sigh and wordlessly slipped back into a deep sleep. I let my fingers play with her silky soft hair as I stared up at the ceiling. I felt more at peace than I had in years and I allowed myself to pretend, just for one evening, that she was mine, that it was really me that she needed, that she'd been calling out for. It didn't take long until I fell into a contented sleep as well.

When I woke the sun was streaming in through the windows and I was completely alone. _Shit. _ I'd been hoping to wake up before Bella so I could slip out undetected. Now there was sure to be an awkward conversation about how we ended up in bed together. I considered pulling the covers over my head and delaying that conversation but the clock on the nightstand told me it was nearing noon. _Damn!_ I had not slept that well in a long, long time.

After a pit stop in the bathroom, I stepped out of my room and found Emmett dragging a mattress through my living room.

"Well, good afternoon, sunshine," he grumbled. "How 'bout you make your lazy ass useful and grab the other end."

I didn't respond but dutifully picked up the back end of the mattress and helped him carry it down the hall to Bella's room. Surprisingly, she was nowhere to be found.

Em saw me looking around for her and let me know she'd gone to pick up some lunch while he unloaded the pieces to her bed frame. I helped him assemble the frame while he filled me in on some of his twins' new antics. However, Emmett Swan was a sneaky fucker. He waited until I was relaxed, laughing and trapped in the corner before he lowered the boom.

"So, that shit James said to you yesterday? What's that about?"

"Man, I already told you and Jazz what he said when we were at the gym."

"I know, dude. I'm talking about that other shit, about being too much of a pansy to tell her something."

I tugged at my hair in frustration. "Em, I have no idea. James and I barely spoke to one another and when we did it was never about anything more serious than the weather. I sure as shit didn't confide in that bastard so how the fuck would I know what he's talking about."

"Jazz seemed pretty quick to shut him up though."

"Then fucking ask Jazz!" I cried, knowing I could trust Jasper to keep his mouth shut. "But you know anything James has to say should be taken with a big ass grain of salt because he's a lying, cheating piece of shit."

"Sorry bro," he said, backing down. "You're right. I'm just being overprotective but that's my baby sis, you know?"

"Of course, man."

"I just don't want anyone else hiding shit from her or throwing more fucking surprises her way. I'm not sure she could handle it right now."

_Fuck me. Now I gotta worry about Emmett beating my ass when this whole thing blows up in my face._ _Though, if I lose Bella…if I hurt her, well, I'd happily let him finish me off._

"Em, you know I'd never do anything to hurt your sister."

He nodded, knowing I was speaking the truth. "Hell, maybe part of me hoped he was right." I stared at him confused. "About you two hooking up," he clarified.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean, maybe not this fast and not on his porch cause that's just fucking weird but you two are perfect for each other. Everyone sees it but you two stubborn assholes."

"Emmett…" I started, so stunned by his approval that I was on the verge of confessing everything to him but he put up a hand and interrupted me.

"I know, I know. It's not my business. Rosie told me to butt the fuck out cause you can't force feelings and some other Dr. Phil bullshit. I've just seen all the shit you've done for her over the years, after Jake, after that other dickhead and now and I guess I'm just feeling sentimental or something. Must be getting my period," he joked.

"Well, I'm sure Bella has some tampons around here somewhere," I teased, feeling like my moment to confess had passed but relieved knowing that at least I had his approval.

He finished screwing in the headboard and then we heard some noise from the kitchen along with the mouthwatering smell of burgers and fries.

"Edward," Bella called as we entered the kitchen, "Double bacon cheeseburger, no pickles, right?" I nodded as she set a paper wrapped burger on the table followed by a container of fries. "And a Dr. Pepper?"

"You know me well."

"Some things never change"

"And some things do," I muttered under my breath.

She handed Emmett his lunch and he tucked into it immediately. Emmett was one of those things that never change. He still had a bottomless appetite like he had when we were children. God help anyone who got in between a hungry Emmett and his meal.

However, I noticed that Bella was just quietly pecking at her salad. She looked contemplative and a little sad though I supposed, given the events of the last few days, that was to be expected. I may have been thrilled to have her back under my roof but I also knew that this was not the way she was expecting to spend her summer.

I felt helpless. I wanted nothing more than to fix everything for her, to make all her problems go away. I could give her a place to stay, I could put her to bed when she drank too much and distract her with photos and memories but at the end of the day, I couldn't erase the pain in her heart. Not only had her wedding been destroyed, but she'd discovered that her fiancé had been cheating and the man she'd spent the last three years with was a completely different person than she'd believed him to be. It was a pain that I couldn't even imagine and it was something she'd have to work through on her own and that killed me.

After lunch, Emmett and I hoisted the mattress onto the bed frame and then he left to spend the rest of his day off with Rose and the twins. Now alone, Bella and I worked quietly to put the rest of her room in order. She made the bed while I assembled the desk she'd bought. I was just pushing the completed desk against the wall when Bella finally spoke.

"You ever gonna tell me how I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in your bed?"

"I carried you in there."

"Duh. But why?"

I sighed and threw up my arms. "I don't know, B. I saw you sleeping on the couch and I just couldn't leave you there while I went and slept in a comfy bed. It seemed, I dunno, ungentlemanly."

"Oh, you were being a gentleman?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. I knew her well enough to sense an attack was coming. "I am capable of it on occasion."

"Interesting," she mused, toying with me. "So, were you just being a gentleman when I woke up with your hand on my tit and your morning wood rubbing against my ass?"

I froze, my jaw went slack, and my blood turned to ice in my veins. I was so fucked. However, she hadn't gone screaming for the hills. She didn't have Emmett turn around and take her bed back to her parents' house. I just needed to tread very carefully.

"Um, probably not?"

"Well, it was kinda sweet," she said, a ghost of a smirk flashed across her face before she clamped it down. But I caught it. She was toying with me!

"Sweet? My unconscious molesting of you was sweet?"

"Maybe not the groping, but when I got up you pouted like a sad little boy and called out for me."

_Fuck. _I gulped audibly. "Did I?"

"Sure did."

I was mentally kicking myself. Why the fuck did I climb in bed with her? Why didn't I just go sleep on the couch like I intended to? Now I was afraid that I'd told Bella of my feelings while unconscious. Of all the possible scenarios I'd gone through imagining how I'd declare my love to her, I never once expected to be unconscious.

"What exactly did I say?" I asked and then held my breath, feeling as though my entire world was hanging in the balance.

She stifled a giggle and my heart skipped a beat. "You said 'Come back, baby doll, you feel so good.'" She had lowered her voice to impersonate me and held out her arms as if reaching for me but it was such a laughably bad imitation that neither of us could maintain our composure.

"Is that it?" I managed to choke out once I'd caught my breath.

"Mostly. You also called me 'sweet girl' and told me you needed me. The rest was all mumbles and moans."

I exhaled in relief. It didn't sound like I had called her specifically by name so I could have been talking about anyone. For all she knew, I could have been dreaming of Scarlett Johansson. I was in the clear and she was simply teasing me as any good best friend would. _Well sweetheart, two can play this game._

"Interesting," I replied, a smile slowly creeping across my lips. "Sounds awfully similar to what you said to me last night."

"What?" Her head snapped up and with that the shoe had landed on the other foot.

"When I put you to bed last night, you also called out."

"I did?" She groaned. "What did I say?"

"I don't remember it word for word but you specifically told me not to go. That's how I ended up in the bed with you."

She exhaled loudly and chuckled a bit. "Well," she finally breathed, "aren't we a fine fucking pair?"

"We sure are, baby doll."

She chucked a throw pillow at my head but I caught it easily and tossed it back. "I don't suppose you'll tell me who you were dreaming of?" she asked quietly, placing the pillow back on the bed and smoothing it over with her hand.

"I could ask the same question," I remarked and then immediately regretted it. It was pretty obvious in her case and I kicked myself from bringing him up, even indirectly. "Truthfully, I don't remember any of it," I added quickly.

"That's a shame. From what I could gather, it was a very nice dream. Nicer than mine sounded."

"I'm going to have to trust you on that. Like I said, I don't remember it."

I could see in her eyes that she was heading into full Bella-recon mode. When she wanted to, the girl could dig for information like nobody's business and I was not falling into that trap. "Alright well, I didn't get any work done last night. I should probably go give it another shot."

"Really? What was that you were playing last night? It was really beautiful."

"I don't know. I guess it was just stuck in my head but it's all wrong for this project so it's back to the drawing board."

"Sounds like you were inspired by something…or someone."

"Maybe," I conceded. Part of me was screaming, dying to tell her that she was my inspiration, my dream, my everything. "But, I better get inspired by talking cartoon frogs if I want to get my bills paid this month."

"Well, I won't keep you then. But if inspiration doesn't strike, don't worry about the bills. You know I'm not a mooch. I intend to pitch in."

"B, that's not neccess…"

She cut me off with a raised hand. "Stop it. Don't baby me, ok? Shit happened and I had my pout, but I can't fucking wallow in it. I'm an adult and I'm going to move on with my life and that includes paying my half of the fucking bills, alright?"

She was right. The world doesn't stop for heartbreak or sorrow and as much as I wanted to swoop in and save the day, I knew she'd feel better when life regained some sense of normalcy. "You got it, B."

I headed for the door but she cut me off, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head against my chest. "Thank you again, for everything. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I'll always be here for you, B. You know that. Forever and ever."

It took an hour of swearing, watching game footage, and fucking around at my piano but eventually I stumbled onto the right sound for the game. Even Bella agreed. After she finished setting up her room, she listened to what I had prepared so far and gave it her stamp of approval. Then to my surprise, she announced she was going out to meet up with her friend, Angela.

After she left I dove in headfirst and was making some serious headway when my phone rang. I wanted to ignore it but a glance at the screen let me know it was the project manager.

"Hello, Kate."

"_Hi. So, I know you're dealing with some kind of personal crisis this week but I just wanted to touch base with you and see how things are going." _

Kate had been incredibly sympathetic when I'd called her Saturday morning. I didn't give her all the gory details; just that I was helping a friend through something important. She let me know that I didn't have any meetings lined up this week and just asked that I keep her informed of my progress since the deadline was looming.

"You know, I was actually just working on it and I think it's coming along. If you want I can get some samples recorded tonight and send them to you?"

"_Actually, I am in your neck of the woods. If it's not a huge inconvenience, I'd love to stop by and hear what you've got."_

"Uh, yeah, that would be fine, great actually. I'm kind of in the zone and would love to hear your thoughts sooner than later in case I'm going down the wrong road."

"_Oh, I'm sure it's perfect but I'll be there in fifteen to tell you so in person." _

True to her word, Kate arrived on my doorstep in a matter of minutes with a six pack of beer.

"I figured if I was going to intrude, I ought to bring a peace offering."

"Peace offering implies that I'm upset or something. I really don't mind. It's not like I had anything else going on tonight."

I took the beer from her and she followed me into the kitchen. "Really? What happened to your friend?"

"She is out with another friend, trying to get back to a normal life," I said, taking two beers out of the case and setting the rest in the fridge.

"Back to a normal life? That sounds…sad. What happened, if you don't mind me asking? You were kinda vague on the phone."

"Uhh."

"Sorry, it's none of my business. I'm just being nosy."

I'd known Kate long enough to know that she wasn't the gossipy type but the details of Bella's life weren't mine to discuss. "It's fine," I said, handing her a beer. "She just got out of a long term relationship that ended really badly and so she moved in this weekend."

"Aww, who knew you were such a sweet guy!"

I chuckled and popped the cap of my beer. "I'm not, but she's been my best friend for twenty years so…"

"Twenty years? Wow," she mused, "that's incredible."

"I guess," I shrugged. "Come on, let me show you what I've got so far."

With Kate's insights I was able to nail down a good chunk of the project and now that I had the right sound figured out, the rest would come easily. We probably could have gotten a lot more finished if we drank less but eventually our conversations turned from actual work to discussing some of our colleagues. Game designers are an interesting sort after all.

So, when Bella arrived home she found us bent over Kate's phone howling with laughter over a picture one of the artists had sent her. Eric had developed a bit of a crush on Kate and had decided to declare his love by drawing a portrait of Kate…as a superhero…complete with obscenely large breasts and very little clothing. Needless to say, Eric never got the date he'd been hoping for.

"Um, hello?"

Both of our heads snapped up to find Bella standing in the doorway, looking at us with a confused expression.

"Oh, hey," I cried, jumping to my feet. "Bella, this is Kate. She's the project manager on the game I'm working on. She came over to listen to what I had so far. Kate, this is my friend, Bella."

"It's very nice to meet you, Bella." Kate said, stumbling slightly as she rose to her feet, the three beers she'd consumed were beginning to take their toll. Apparently, Kate was a bit of a lightweight.

Bella took Kate's hand politely but dropped it quickly. I didn't understand why she was being so standoffish. That wasn't like my Bella. "Well, you guys look very busy so I'm just going to head to bed. It was nice to meet you," she said quietly and then turned to leave.

Something was definitely off with her. I put up a finger to let Kate know I'd be right back and quickly followed Bella down the hall.

"Hey," I said, catching up to her at her doorway. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," she lied. Bella had always been a horrible liar. "Don't let me keep you from your guest."

The way she spat the word 'guest' through me for a loop as I realized she was upset with me though I had no idea what I'd done. "B, what is going on? You can talk to me."

"Nothing to say, Edward. I'm just tired and going to bed. Kate seems nice. Don't keep her waiting on my account. Good night."

With that, I was dismissed. I walked back down the hall to find Kate gathering up her things. "Taking off on me?"

"Yeah, I should get going. I've got to get up early. Not all of us get to work from home, you know," she said with a playful smile.

"Did you drive?" I asked, knowing she'd had a little too much to drink to safely drive home.

Kate shook her head. "Nah. I had dinner with some friends at that little Italian place down the road. They drove but then they ditched me to go to some club and that's just not my scene. So, I called you, because I remembered you lived nearby. I've already called a cab. It should be here soon."

I walked her to the door and thanked her for stopping by, promising to get the project finished up and back to her by the end of the week. She hesitated when the cab pulled up and I suddenly realized that her visit might have been more than just a professional one, or maybe even more than a friendly one. Oh, I was such an idiot. I didn't even notice the way she'd sat right next to me, leaning in close while I played the piano, laughing at jokes that weren't all that funny.

"Good night, Kate," I said, politely but firmly and while keeping my distance. "Thanks for stopping by, I'll call you in a few days when I get this all done, ok?"

She smiled and gave a little nod but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Good night," she said and hurried down the steps and into the cab.

Somehow I'd manage to unwittingly disappoint or piss off every woman who'd crossed my path that evening. Before I could do any more harm, I locked up the house and headed to bed. I was suddenly very tired and decided I could wait until tomorrow to figure out what I'd done wrong.

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><p>Boy is just stepping in it left and right, isn't he.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Hello again! Much thanks for all the support, all the new readers, reviews, follows, and favs. You guys rock my socks.

Let's get Bella's side of things shall we?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

**BPOV**

The dream had started the same as it had the last two nights. I was walking with James and he led me into a room that was dark and cold but when I tried to ask what we were doing there, he'd disappeared and I was alone. Every night in my dream I would wander around this room that was pitch black and full of unseen terrors, unable to find my way out until I woke in a panic.

However, this time was different. I was standing alone in the dark room, cold and scared, when I felt someone come and stand behind me but I wasn't frightened. A calmness spread through me as the faceless person behind me wrapped their arms around me. Their touch was warm and comforting and I melted into them. Light began to spread through the room, eliminating the darkness and leaving me in peace. I was about to turn and face my companion when a loud beeping pulled me from my slumber and my dream melted away, dissipating like smoke.

As I opened my eyes, I immediately noticed that I was in Edward's room which struck me as odd considering the last thing I remembered was lying on the couch listening to him play the piano. _That motherfucker! He moved me!_ I had half a mind to go wake him up and cuss him out for letting me steal his bed from him yet again but I didn't get that far. As soon as I attempted movement, my attention was pulled to the large male hand firmly cupping my breast. Half a second after that, my breath hitched as I felt someone's erection press against my backside.

_What the actual fuck!_

I extricated myself from the boob grabber and slid out of the bed, my mouth falling open in horror as I realize Edward is the pokey-grabby offender. "Oh my God!" I gasped as Edward, still fast asleep, starts pawing at the bed where I was just lying and fucking moans.

"Come back, baby doll, you feel so good."

I stand still for a moment, morbid curiosity getting the better of me. I don't know how I ended up in his bed but it's clear that Edward had mistaken me for someone else and I was dying to know who. This coupled with his closed off, secretive behavior the other night led me to believe he was seeing someone and I instantly felt like shit. I'd been so wrapped up in wedding bullshit and then so sad and needy when it all went to hell that he obviously didn't feel like he could tell me his own good news. Knowing Edward, he wouldn't want me to feel like he was rubbing his happiness in my face. Oh, I was a shitty, shitty best friend.

Then there was a bit more moaning and then a mumbled, "I miss you, sweet girl."

_Awww! _ I'd never seen this side of him. He'd always been a good guy but in all his other relationships, I'd never known him to be so affectionate. Whoever this girl was, he was clearly smitten. I wanted to be thrilled for him but there was a wave of inexplicable sadness that fell over me.

I didn't have a chance to question that feeling before the beeping that had woken me returned. I traced the sound to Edward's cell and saw my brother's name flashing across the screen. I answered the phone and quietly left the room.

"Hey, Em?"

"_Bells? Jesus, I've been trying to get ahold of one of you for the last twenty minutes. Where you been? And why the fuck won't you answer your own phone?" _

"God, I was sleeping, Em. And I don't know where my phone is," I snapped.

"_Sleeping? It's ten thirty! On a Monday!"_

"Fuck, you sound like dad."

"_Ouch, Bell-bell. That's no way to talk to your big brother. Especially when he's got your bed all loaded up and ready to drop off."_

Now that was good news. "Seriously? Thank you so much!"

Emmett promised to be over in ten minutes and I ran to my mostly empty room to change out of my pajamas. As I readied myself for the day, I decided to put all thoughts of my strange morning out of my head for now. My brother had inherited my dad's excellent cop observational skills and could sense the slightest thing 'off' about anyone. He also loved to tease people mercilessly. If he found out how I'd woken up neither Edward or I would ever live it down.

True to his word, Emmett arrived exactly when he said he would, with the pieces of my old bed in the back of his truck. I couldn't stop the sigh that emanated from me when I realized how pathetic I was, forced to sleep in my bed from high school at twenty seven. Well, maybe now the thing would finally get some action. _Wait, was I ready to get some action? Don't be stupid, Bella. Who would you be getting action with? It's only been two days since your whole life blew up._

"So, you gonna help me with this, sis, or do I have to do it all myself?" Emmett asked, jarring me out of my head.

"Sorry, daydreaming I guess," I mumbled and pulled some of the lighter pieces of my bed frame out of the truck but I was still on autopilot. I had so much running around in my head and I couldn't make sense of it all.

I managed to get the pieces I was carrying into my room but it was clear that Emmett was not in the mood for my space brain today.

"Ok, fuck this. Bell-bell, you need some coffee or something?"

"Huh? No, it's almost lunch time," I said.

Em shook his head exasperated. "Alright, you think you can pull your shit together enough to run and grab us some burgers or something?"

"Yeah, sure, but we still have the mattress and the box spring to bring in."

"And you're just in the way, acting all spacey and mopey."

"I'm not mopey," I insisted.

"Well something is up with you, so go clear your head. I'll take care of this or maybe your sleepy knight in shining armor will wake up and lend me a hand."

My head snapped around. "What? Knight in shining armor? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Jesus, Bells, touchy much? I'm just sayin' you came running to him when shit hit the fan, like always." I scowled at him but he just smirked, knowing he was right. "And he came to your rescue, like always. Hell, I heard he even told mom off for you."

"When?" I asked in disbelief.

"Day after the…uh, doomsday. She said you were upset and laid down. She wanted to comfort you but he wouldn't let her in to see you and then he kicked everyone outta the house."

"I didn't know that," I said quietly.

Emmett shrugged. "What's he gonna say? 'Hey, I kicked your mom out'? It's not a big deal. Mom'll get over it and I don't blame him. I love her but she can be a right pain in the ass. She got off light considering all the other asses he's kicked for you."

"What?"

"Jake and Mike? Guess we can add James to the list, though I'd like to point out that I beat him to that one. Hell, your boy has never had anything nice to say to the people who hurt you. Not that I blamed him and damn, it sure made my job as your big bro easy. You know, I always figured you two would hook up someday but after this long, I guess I was misreading the vibes or something."

"You thought E and I would hook up?"

Emmett laughed and shook his head. "Everyone did, Bell-bell. Everyone but the two of you."

I didn't even begin to know what to do with all this information and I needed a moment to clear my head. I grabbed my keys and jumped in my car. The drive to the burger joint actually was a bit soothing. The ridiculous line even gave me a chance to sort through my feelings. I thought about what Emmett had said about everyone expecting Edward and I to get together. If I thought about it logically, I could see why everyone would think that way. I knew most people didn't believe a man and a woman could be platonic friends as long as we had been. E and I had twenty years of history, of having each other's back and taking care of each other. He'd been my other half for two decades and, if I was being really and truly honest with myself, he probably meant more to me than James ever had.

_How fucked up is that? And what does it mean?_

I pulled up to the little intercom and rattled off my order absentmindedly, getting food for Emmett, myself and Edward who I assumed would be awake by the time I returned. I finished my business and headed home, my mind no less clouded with questions and confusion than I'd been when I left. I pushed all that aside as I pulled into the driveway.

Edward was indeed awake and the boys had made quick work of assembling my bed. As we ate I considered whether I should ask him about our morning snuggle session. I was definitely going to chew him out for moving me off the couch but I wasn't sure how to broach the boob grabbing, ass grinding conversation. Maybe he was hiding his new girlfriend from me for a reason? It had been awkward enough the other night when I'd drunkenly interrogated him, it could be so much worse while sober. I figured I should probably keep my mouth shut. It would be weird to bring up his good morning bump and grind and if he was seeing someone, he'd tell me when he was good and ready.

I told myself I was only going to give him hell for letting me steal his bed again, but the conversation just snowballed and soon enough I was accusing him of shit. _God, what the fuck is wrong with me? _Somehow I managed to turn it around. I played coy, teasing him like we'd always done and soon the entire thing was a just a big joke. Textbook _us. _ Except, when I stupidly asked who he'd been dreaming of, I found myself holding my breath, as if afraid of his answer, and exhaling in relief when he admitted he didn't know. I've known him long enough to know when he's lying and he wasn't. As far as I could tell, Edward really didn't remember who he was dreaming of. Maybe he didn't have another girl. _Another? _

He mentioned work and I used it to change the subject before I got totally weird on him. _What the hell was going on with me today anyways? _But it didn't last and soon I'd delved right back into nosy Bella mode.I couldn't blame him for wanting to get the hell out of there, which he attempted multiple times but nosy Bella turned into sad, pathetic Bella. I couldn't even let him leave the room without forcing him to hug me, letting everything fall away for just one second as I breathed in his familiar scent. _When did he start smelling so damn good?_

After he left, I unpacked a couple boxes but my mind was a jumbled mess and I knew I need someone to talk it out with. Alice was out of the question, she was family and therefore too biased. Rose was also family but she would give it to me straight. However, she could be a little too blunt and I wasn't sure I was ready for her brand of tough love and very direct advice. Then there was Angela. She'd listen objectively and offer just enough insight to help me make sense of my own mind. Other than Edward, she'd been my go-to friend when something was bothering me. I gave her a call and thankfully, she was able to make time to meet me for dinner.

"Ange," I whined over a plate of appetizers. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Bella, it's only been a couple days, and I know he's a total asshole but it's ok to still be mixed up over what happened," she said soothingly.

"What?"

"James is a dick for what he did, but you loved him for years. It's understandable if your feelings are still a bit mixed up. It's hard to just turn that off."

I shook my head. "No, this isn't about him. It's Edward."

"Edward?"

I nodded and took a long sip of my cocktail. "He and I," I sighed, "we're different. Or maybe it's just me, but something happened."

I filled her in on everything from the moment I ran from that church in my wedding dress to everything that had transpired that day. Angie sipped her water and listened intently.

"Why the fuck do I care, Ange?" I wailed. "I think he's seeing someone and I can't be happy for him. It's so fucking selfish. Why shouldn't I want him to find someone? He's my best friend in the world, no offense."

"None taken," she said with a smile. "I've always known I was second fiddle."

"So, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Maybe you love him."

I scowled at her in confusion. "Of course I love him. That's what doesn't make sense. If I love him, shouldn't I want him to be happy?"

"No, Bella," Angela said softly, placing her hand on top of mine gently. "I think maybe you _love him, _love him. Like as more than just a friend, maybe?"

I recoiled in horror. "What? That's crazy."

"Is it? Let me recap. There's this man, a very attractive man by the way, not that you notice. But this man has taken care of you and been your support system for decades now. When your entire life collapsed, you ran to him without second thought. You just admitted to me that he means more to you than your ex-fiancé did and the idea of him being with another woman bothers you. Is that right?"

I guess."

"Then you called me here to talk because you were all torn up and upset about a man. When I get here, surprise, surprise, it's not the ex-fiancé we're torn up about, it's the man you've known for twenty years. I dunno. Sounds like love to me, Bella."

"I dunno, Ange. We're just not like that. We've known each other too long. It would be weird and I'm totally not his type anyways."

"Not his type? Psh," Angela scoffed. "Whatever. Is he yours?"

"Not really sure I have a type anymore, to be honest."

Angela leaned in close as if she was about to disclose a deep dark secret. "Listen, Ben and I have been together for years. I know he loves me. That man would do anything for me but he still doesn't look at me with half the love and caring I've seen when Edward looks at you. Are you seriously going to tell me you don't see that?"

I shook my head. "No. I just see twenty years of history, of running around in the sprinklers, and jokes, and playing together at recess. Of studying for finals and movie marathons. It would be like dating my brother."

"Ok, ok, maybe you're just worried about losing your buddy. But humor me with one last question. How would you have reacted if it was Emmett this morning, palming your boobie and grinding himself on you?"

I nearly vomited at the mere mention of it. Angela caught my full body shudder and laughed and laughed. "Guess it's not exactly the same then," she said when she finally caught her breath.

"Shut up!" I cried, pounding my drink as I motioned to the waiter for another, needing to drown the mental image of Emmett palming my tit that Angela had put in my brain. There was not enough liquor in the world to bleach that from my brain.

Mercifully, Angela was true to her word and that was the last I heard of it. That didn't stop my mind from dwelling on the other things she'd said though. It was ridiculous…wasn't it? I'd never really thought about him in that way before. It had to be the thing she'd mentioned, being afraid of losing my friend, right? That sounded much more plausible.

We finished dinner early and Angela drove me home. The moment I opened the door I noticed the sound of unfamiliar female laughter coming from Edward's small makeshift studio in the den and my heart leapt into my chest. Unconsciously, I drifted towards the sound. Sure enough, sitting next to Edward at his piano was a girl with long straight, shiny blond hair. Their heads were close together and they were laughing hysterically over something I'd clearly missed.

I lingered a moment, watching her smile and laugh with him. It was obvious, even from behind, that she was smitten. I couldn't watch anymore and announced my presence but remained in the doorway. Edward jumped up looking a bit like the cat that ate the canary though I couldn't understand why. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was a young, single guy, why would I care? In fact I'd been encouraging him for months, hell, years even, to find a nice girl. Now it appeared that he had, so why wasn't I happy about it? I barely heard him introduce her as someone from work. His_ boss maybe? Not sure that's a good idea, Edward. _But I was too focused on how stunning she was. Not as gorgeous as Tanya was but still incredibly beautiful.

I didn't notice the empty beer bottles until the blonde, _Kate, I think he called her_, began stumbling towards me. Clearly, they'd been drinking and I was grateful that I'd come home when I did. I knew all too well how these things progressed. Another hour and I might have walked into an entirely different scenario, the thought of which turned my stomach. I managed to be polite when she offered me her hand but as I took it, I realized with a start that this was likely the woman who Edward had been dreaming about this morning, the woman he'd mistaken me for, and I dropped her hand quickly as if I'd been zapped. I felt nauseous and just plain icky, like an extreme third wheel.

I knew I couldn't stick around here, watching them make goo-goo eyes at each other or whatever they were doing, and excused myself promptly but I didn't even make it to my room before Edward caught up to me.

"Hey, you ok?"

"I'm fine," I lied. "Don't let me keep you from your guest." It came out much harsher than I meant it to but something about his girlfriend just rubbed me the wrong way.

"B, what is going on? You can talk to me."

Something was definitely going on but I couldn't tell him what I didn't know. I just needed some time to figure it out. "Nothing to say, Edward. I'm just tired and going to bed. Kate seems nice," I added, remembering the way I hated when Edward would pass immediate judgment on the men I dated. I didn't want to do that to him. "Don't keep her waiting on my account. Good night."

I didn't wait for a reply before heading into my room. Once the door was closed I threw myself onto the bed, buried my face in a pillow and screamed in frustration. What the fuck was wrong with me? Just then my phone dinged with an incoming Facebook notification.

_Jacob Black has sent you a friend request. _

Are you fucking kidding me right now? I forced myself to take a deep breath, reminded myself that it had been a decade since he said horrible things to me and then ditched me on prom night. I should have ignored it, I should have hit decline but because today was already a hot mess, I accepted. _What the hell, right? _

Within minutes my phone dinged with another notification, this time a PM from Jake.

_Hey Bells, wasn't sure you'd accept but I'm glad you did because I owe you an apology. I was such a dick to you that night. I'm sure it doesn't make any of it better but that night was the first lesson of many that finally taught me that alcohol and I are not friends. I should have apologized years ago. _

_ Jake, is this a 12 step thing? Because it's really unnecessary. I'm over it. _

_No no, not an alcoholic. I don't "need" it or crave it. I'm just someone who realized that it makes me an asswipe._

_Can't argue that._

_I am sorry. I've thought about that night a million times since then and all the things I could have done differently. I wish I hadn't hurt you that way. You didn't deserve the things I said to you._

_ Honestly, Jake, it's in the past. _

I knew as soon as I typed it, that it was true. I really didn't care anymore. Guess I had bigger fish to try these days.

_You always were too good for me Bells. _

_ I'm really not. _

_You are but anyways, I guess I should come right out and say that I heard about the wedding. Your dad told my dad who told me. Anyways, I'm sorry. Dude sounds like a total douche nozzle. _

_ Yeah, apparently he is. Wish I found out sooner. _

_Can I be honest?_

_Sure, why not?_

_I was kinda surprised you didn't end up with Cullen. Thought that was inevitable. _

_Seriously? _

What the fuck was the universe up to these days? Suddenly everyone was pushing us together. Well, everyone except the two of us, well, and Edward's new girlfriend. I couldn't imagine she'd be on that bandwagon.

_Come on, Bells. You guys were inseparable. That was part of my problem. I was jealous as fuck because I felt like I could never come close to connecting to you like he did. He got you in a way I never did. _

_Jake, you know he and I were never like that right? Never. Especially back then. I wouldn't have done that to you. _

_I know that now. But then I was just an insecure, idiot teenager. Still surprised it never happened though. _

_ Well, it didn't. We've only ever been friends. _

_What about you and me? Any chance we could be friends again? Or did I fuck up all hope of that 10 yrs ago? Tell me the truth Bells. I'm a big boy, I can take it. _

_I told you. It's in the past. If you say you're not an asshole anymore then I'll take your word for it. _

_Awesome. How about a cup of coffee one day? Catch up? _

_Um, I guess. I'm a teacher now and my social life is clearly in the crapper so I'm pretty free all summer. _

Feeling a bit like an idiot for doing so, I gave him my number and told him to call me whenever he was free before logging off. I plugged my phone into the charger and lay back onto my bed, my mind still swirling. My wedding had fallen apart at the altar, my fiancé knocked up someone else, everyone in my life expected me to end up with my best friend who had himself a brand new girlfriend, and my first boyfriend had just risen from the proverbial grave.

Life was fucking awesome.

Talking to Jake brought me back to my earlier thoughts about Edward and his disapproval of anyone I ever dated and I began to wonder about his motivations. I thought back to the argument we had just before the wedding that wasn't. I'd accused him of not wanting to grow up or move on. It had been a low blow, brought on by my own surprise and anger but maybe there was something too it. Clearly, he wasn't averse to growing up. The man owned his own home, paid his bills, and while he might not be scoring Hollywood blockbusters, he was still successful and made a decent living on his own terms. Maybe it wasn't fear of growing up, but of change that had motivated his hatred of all my men. Since we'd been children it had been he and I against the world and for the first time, I understood the fear of losing that.

Without a doubt, I considered Edward to be a part of me. It felt weird to call him my other half but no other term sufficed. We'd been a team for two decades and my boyfriends had always threatened that, just as this Kate woman threatened our bond. In fact, every romantic bond that either of us ever formed undermined our friendship. It was why he hated all my boyfriends. Why I instantly hated this Kate. We were both terrified of change, of anything that threatened our friendship. He mattered more to me than anything. However, for that same reason, I knew I couldn't let my insecurities hold him back from finding happiness He deserved it more than anyone I knew. So I'd just have to forget what Ange had said, get over my weirdness and confusion and somehow learn to like this new woman of his.

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><p>I know I wrote them but these two frustrate me. Anyone else? LOL I promise, we're reaching a breaking point. See you Friday.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

I know I messed with the timeline a bit in the last chapter but this one picks up the morning after the Kate fiasco, if you can call it that. Sorry for any confusion.

Buckle your seatbelts.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**EPOV**

I woke from a fitful sleep and stumbled into the kitchen in search of coffee, only to find Bella stooped over at the table. She was clutching a steaming cup of coffee, staring into it as if it held the secrets of the universe. Her head snapped up as I entered the kitchen.

"Fresh pot," she remarked, nudging her shoulder towards the coffee maker. "Filled the whole thing," she added. "Wasn't sure if we'd have company."

My brows knitted together in confusion. _Who else would be here?_

"Look," she said with a resigned sigh. "I owe you an apology. Kate too. I was rude last night and it was uncalled for. Is she still here? I'd like to apologize to her too."

"What?"

"Kate?" Bella repeated. "Is she still here or did I miss her?"

"You think she spent the night?" I asked in astonishment and shook my head. "No, she went home right after you went to bed."

Bella shook her head and sighed. "Dammit. That's my fault and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I asked. I was so incredibly confused.

"That she felt like she had to leave. That was my fault. I was rude but I think I understand why." What she said next made my heart stop. "I was jealous."

"Jealous?" I gasped. _Bella was jealous? Of Kate? _

"Yes, I get it now. Why you always hated my boyfriends. Why you hated James. I finally figured it out."

My heart finally began beating once more though now it was pounding with hope and excitement. _Was she saying what I think she was saying? Did she…? _ I couldn't even allow myself to finish that thought.

Unfortunately, my hope was short lived.

"Our friendship is the most important thing to me. You getting close with someone else, it scares me. I can't lose you and what we have. I need you. I was caught off guard last night and became irrationally terrified that she'd take my place. I finally knew exactly how you'd felt when I brought home Mike, or Riley, or James even. It's that fear that someone else will become more important to your best friend than you are. Then I remembered that I didn't lose you when you dated Tanya and I didn't care about you less whenever I was seeing someone. It doesn't have to be one or the other. I don't care what everyone else says about men and women being friends. It is totally possible to maintain our friendship while getting serious with someone. We just have to make a pact that we won't date anyone who doesn't understand this and what we have. James never believed that you and I could just be platonic but clearly he was just projecting his own guilt because we never gave him any reason to think there was something else going on here. Anyone who doesn't understand that will just have to deal with it."

She waved her hand back and forth between us, completely unaware that my heart was shattering. I'd gone from complete bliss, believing my wildest dreams were about to come true only to be destroyed by her truth. I was just her friend and I would never be anything more.

"Believe me, Bella," I said quietly, willing my voice not to crack with the emotion that was flowing through me. "You are not to blame for Kate not spending the night."

"Oh good, "she sighed. "I meant what I said last night though. She seems nice. I'll look forward to getting to know her when I'm not tired and tipsy and being a silly bitch who doesn't want to share her friend."

I knew that I should have corrected her assumptions. I should have told her that Kate and I were in no way romantically involved. I should have told her that my heart belonged to her alone. But I did none of that. I nodded weakly and poured myself a cup of coffee before taking a seat at the kitchen table, willing myself to maintain my brave façade. _God, Edward, you are such a fucking pussy._

"So, I know I've been a bit pre-occupied with my own freak show life lately, but don't think I've forgotten about your birthday on Friday. I was thinking maybe we can all go out, get a few drinks, and do a little dancing."

I raised an eyebrow knowing Bella was not a fan of dancing, not in nightclubs or bars anyway.

"What?" she exclaimed, noticing my eyebrow. "Do you and Kate have plans already?"

"Nope, it's just you didn't want to even go to the grocery store a few days ago and suddenly you want to go dancing?"

"Told you, I'm not going to let that bastard keep me in hiding. I'm not wasting any more of my life on him. So, you want to go out or not? I think Ali and Jazz will come, maybe Em and Ro if they can get a sitter. Maybe I'll talk my parents into babysitting so they can come. Obviously, Kate is welcome too."

I wasn't fooled. She kept pushing this idea of not wasting more time on James but I worried she was just suppressing her feelings. It's what she did when the pain was too much. It's why she threw the party the night I realized I loved her. This was her _modus operandi._ She was willing herself to get over it and not allowing herself to fully process the hurt. It wouldn't end well. As much as I hated it, she'd loved James for years and he'd betrayed her. That kind of pain, it doesn't just go away because you want it to. It catches up to you. But she was stubborn and she wouldn't listen to me. She never did. I could only be there to catch her when she fell.

"Fine," I agreed with a tired sigh. "If you want to make the arrangements, I'll be there. Might be nice to get out of the house." I lied, trying to sound optimistic while suppressing the ache in my chest. I was the worst kind of hypocrite. At this they'd have alcohol there. This time I think I was the one who needed it more.

"Ok, you talk to Kate and I'll take care of everything else. It'll be great to get out of here and have a little fun. Everyone has been mourning this fucking wedding like someone died and I'm over it."

I nodded and sipped at my coffee. Maybe she did just need the distraction? Maybe I did too? Maybe I was just lying to myself most of all.

"Alright fine," I said, "just let me know when and where and I'll be there, but right now I've got to finish up some work. I'm close to wrapping up this project and I'd like to get it done."

"Really, I'd love to hear it?"

"Sure, if you want to, I'll be in my studio. You're more than welcome anytime."

She nodded and I excused myself, taking my half-finished cup of coffee with me. I had just a few more levels and then I could put this project to bed. Now that I'd found the right sound for this game, the rest of the work came easily, most of them just variations of each other, and soon I was buried in sheet music and recordings to take in for final approval.

It was an hour before I saw Bella again. She snuck up behind me as I was at the piano. I turned and found her leaning over my shoulder. She was fresh out of the shower and her scent of strawberries and heaven overwhelmed my senses. My hands stilled but I kept them on the keys, afraid that if I moved them they'd go straight to her waist. I was overwhelmed with the sudden desire to lift her on top of my piano and do dirty, dirty things to her. The tank top she was wearing showed just a hint of cleavage. Just enough to let my imagination run wild and I shifted in my seat to conceal my growing erection.

"It's very cheerful," she remarked, taking a seat next to me on the piano bench. "Very playful and happy."

"It's for little kids," I said. "Teaches them their letters and numbers and stuff like that. I'll show you."

I pulled up some game footage for her to watch as I played the music. Out of the corner of my eye I caught her smile.

"Edward, it's perfect. I think you nailed it on the head."

"I'll just be happy to be done with it. You wouldn't think a toddler video game would be so hard to score."

"Ok, well I'll leave you to it. I'm just on my way to lunch."

She stood and I swiveled on the bench. "Lunch? With who?"

"Um, an old friend."

She was hiding something from me. "An old friend?" I repeated. "Who?" We'd been inseparable for over two decades. She didn't have any 'old friends' that I didn't know. Angela was the only one from high school that she'd kept in touch with besides myself, and she'd seen her just last night.

"Jake," she mumbled, dropping her gaze to the ground. _Jesus Christ!_

"Jake? As in Jacob Black? Your asshole ex who dumped you at prom for not sleeping with him? How the hell did he come back into your life? And why the fuck would you let him?"

"He friended me on Facebook last night and we chatted a bit on messenger. It's been years, Edward, and he apologized for what went down. I have enough grudges to hold, I think it's time to let this one go. This morning he asked if I'd like to go to lunch to catch up and I agreed."

"I don't like it," I huffed petulantly.

"You don't have to. You're not my dad."

"B, it's been less than a week since…"

Bella angrily held up a hand, stopping me mid-sentence. "I know how long it's been, Edward. I know right down to the second how long it's been. What do you want me to do? Sit around and cry and pine over an asshole, like everyone else? I'm a teacher. I have the next two months off with nothing to do except tweak some lesson plans. I specifically arranged to have most of my summer free. To be able to do nothing but relax and be a newlywed and it's been shot to hell. So, now I have to find something, anything to do to fill my time or risk wallowing in sorrow and self-pity all summer. It's not a fucking date. There's no way in hell I'm going down that road with him again. I am just going to catch up with an old friend who wanted to mend our relationship and I am going to try to regain some semblance of a normal life again. Not that I need your fucking permission."

With that she turned on her heel and walked away. I scrambled to chase after her, catching up to her in the living room and gently grabbing her hand. She spun around with fire in her eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry. You're right. You don't need my permission. It's just, you forget that I was there when he hurt you. I saw your pain first hand and I just worry about you."

"It's just lunch, E. I'm not falling into bed with him or jumping into a relationship. I'll be fine."

She pulled her hand from mine, snatched her purse and keys from the table near the door and walked out, leaving me all alone. It was a feeling I'd grown uncomfortably used to. If I couldn't stop acting like a possessive asshole or conversely, a scared little bitch baby, it would be how I spent the rest of my life, lonely and watching the love of my life run off with someone else…again. James may have ended up being the asshole I thought he was, but the next guy she meets might not be.

I forced myself to finish up the last of my work before letting myself fall into depression. I emailed Kate and let her know I'd be in the next day. After that I found myself back at the piano, the same tune from a few nights earlier returning to my fingertips but it took on a darker, more melancholic tone the longer I played. I played for hours and Bella never returned. The sun began to set and I was forced to click on the small lamp on my piano but otherwise continued to play. My music was my therapy and the music coming from the piano was a representation of all I was feeling. My love for Bella, my despair at being unable to tell her, and the loneliness I felt from keeping so much of me a secret from everyone close to me.

It was full dark when Bella returned. I was so absorbed in my playing that I didn't hear her enter. She walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me from behind with her cheek pressed against my own. Normally, that action would have startled me but instead I melted against her and covered her hands with my own, holding her to me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. You were right. It's not my place to question how you spend your time or who with."

She pulled away and took a seat next to me on the bench. "Maybe, but you were right to worry. It became pretty obvious that Jake was looking to rekindle more than our friendship. I told him he was insane if he thought I would even consider that, especially less than a week after my wedding blew up. Anyways, after lunch I went and saw Rose and she reminded me how you were always there for me when life got ugly. I thought about it from your perspective and realized that I'd do the same if I were you. If you were suddenly running off to see someone who'd hurt you, I'd definitely have something to say about it."

"But I didn't have to be an ass about it."

"Can we be friends again?"

"Forever and ever," I said with a small smile.

She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed. "What were you playing when I came in? It was so pretty; I didn't want to disrupt you. I actually stood in the doorway and just listened for a bit. Kinda sad though."

"Nothing specific. I was just playing to play."

She lifted her head and looked at me pensively. She knew me well enough to know that my personal playing was usually reflective of my mood but she didn't pry.

"Well, I'll leave you to it," she said, rising from the bench.

"You don't have to go."

"I know, but I wanted to read a bit and I know when you play this that you're working through something. I don't want to get in the way."

"You're never in the way."

"And you're always too good to me." She gave my shoulder a small squeeze and left me alone again.

My mood had lifted considerably but that only allowed me to finally feel the pain in my back from being seated at the piano for so long. I stood and stretched, wincing as my back popped in several places. I made a quick sandwich in the kitchen and ate it standing at the counter, washing it down with a beer. I cracked open another one and headed to my room. A long hot shower helped soothe my stiff muscles and I soon collapsed into bed with the memory of Bella's arms wrapped around me.

I woke early the next morning and headed into work. Kate was cordial but a little more distant than she'd been the other night. Whether that was because we were in the office now or if she was embarrassed by our uncomfortable good-bye, I had no idea but we were strictly professional now. It was for the best. There was only one woman in this world that could hold my heart and I had nothing to offer anyone else except disappointment. Not to mention, I had a good thing going with this company. They liked me and while the work wasn't always creatively satisfying, it was steady and it paid well. I left that day with another two projects lined up; both much bigger than the frog game project and therefore a bigger payday. I might be busy all summer but it would be well worth it financially.

At home Bella and I celebrated my steady workload by ordering pizza, drinking beer, and binge-watching the new season of _Orange is the New Black_. It felt like we were us again, the way we'd been in high school and college. We laughed, we joked, and there was no mention of James or Jake or Kate even. I was even able to relax and not stress over my feelings for her. I just enjoyed spending the time with her.

A few episodes in and she was curled up against my side. Unconsciously, my hands moved to her hair and I threaded my finders through her silky locks. Her eyes began to droop and she was out cold against my chest shortly after. Bolstered by beer and her closeness, I lowered my head and placed a small kiss against her forehead. She remained asleep but snuggled in closer and my heart swelled. I held her close and allowed my own eyes to droop.

I woke a little later to Bella's small sleepy voice. The TV was quiet as Netflix's "_are you still watching…"_ question glared on the screen. "Hey, Edward, wake up. We should go to bed."

I managed a half conscious grunt of assent as Bella tried to wriggle out of my grasp. "Sorry," I muttered, moving my arms so she could stand. She offered me a hand and though I didn't need it, I took it anyway as I rose off the couch.

"Come on, sleepyhead. Let's go to bed."

I knew she didn't mean it the way I wanted her to but that didn't stop the fantasy that played out in my mind. Her leading me by the hand to my room. Me pressing my lips to hers as my hands…

"Edward," she called, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Sheesh, you are really tired aren't you? Go on to bed. I'll lock up."

She moved to the front door and clicked the lock. I pulled it together enough to walk over to the TV and press the off button. "Good night," she said softly, walking past me towards her room.

"Good night."

The next morning over coffee, Bella informed me that Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie were on board with her grand birthday party plan. They would all meet us here for takeout and drinks and then we would head out to some place my sister claimed was the best nightclub. The whole idea seemed ridiculous. Neither Bella nor I were really nightclub people anymore, if we ever were. The night before was more our regular scene, but if Bella wanted a night out, I was willing to go along to keep an eye on her. Even if it was my birthday.

She left almost immediately after finishing her coffee to go shopping with Alice while I spent the day before my birthday cleaning the house, answering a few emails and paying a sickening amount of bills. Most of all, I spent the day trying to come up with a plan to tell my best friend that I was irrevocably in love with her.

The next evening started well. Bella got takeout from my favorite Mexican joint and a large bottle of tequila. The six of us laughed and joked and they sang 'Happy Birthday' to me, loudly and off-key, while Bella presented me with cupcakes complete with candles. "Make a wish!"

I wasn't sure whether I should thank my sister or curse her for the outfit Bella was wearing. I knew Alice was behind it as it most definitely not Bella's usual style. She had on a sinfully tight pair of black pants and an equally tight black halter top that reminded me of a pin-up girl or a vintage swimsuit. It pushed her breasts up and put them on display perfectly and now they were directly in front of me, obscured only minutely by the tiny cupcake in her hand. My dick wished to bypass the pastry and devour her perfect tits instead, but my heart wished only for her as I blew out the single candle.

The guys and I toasted my birthday with tequila shots while the girls sipped margaritas. I was struck by how happy I was. Our little group felt complete though maybe I was the only one who felt that way. Bella had pulled me aside while everyone was busy pouring drinks and asked me why Kate wasn't there. I wasn't ready to have this discussion with her, not with everyone in the next room, so I simply told her that Kate couldn't make it. Plus, if she knew that Kate and I were not a 'thing' she'd be pressing me to find some girl at the club to take home tonight while I just wanted to relax and enjoy the night with my friends. I wasn't sure how I'd handle the jackasses at the club who would surely be ogling Bella, though I wasn't sure I'd be able to take my own eyes off of her long enough to notice anyone else looking.

After that we piled into a couple cabs and headed to some ridiculous hipster bar. I glared at my sister as we pulled up. Was it my birthday or hers? This was so not my scene but they had alcohol so I would make it work, reminding myself that I'd only agreed to this as a distraction for Bella. It appeared to be working. She was laughing and smiling and looked as though she was having a genuinely good time, happier and more relaxed than I'd seen in her months. We settled into a corner booth and Emmett had drinks ordered for the group in record time. He and Rose didn't get out like this much anymore and he was determined to take full advantage.

Despite our location, I found myself to actually be having a good time. Drinks were flowing, jokes were abundant and the laughter was constant. After an hour or so the girls excused themselves to the bathroom and Emmett headed to the bar for a refill. Jasper took the opportunity to slide over and call me out.

"Bro, you're going to give yourself away if you keep staring at Bella like that."

"Wha? I'm not…"

He nodded and sipped his beer. "Yeah, you are," he said matter-of-factly, "and if I noticed, it's only a matter of time before everyone else notices. So, unless you're ready to come out of the 'I love my best friend' closet, you might wanna make some eye contact with the rest of us."

I made a more concerted effort to look away from Bella but it was tough. Unfortunately, this allowed me to pick up on the others who admired her beauty. I spent a good portion of the evening shooting daggers at any man who dared look in her direction. Occasionally, when spotted someone checking her out I would scoot a little closer to her or casually stretch my arm along the back of the booth behind her. I knew that I was metaphorically pissing on her, marking a territory that wasn't actually mine, but I couldn't help myself. It had only been one week and I was sure that the last thing Bella wanted was a bunch of creeps hitting on her.

Oh how wrong I was. Apparently, that was exactly what she wanted.

After several drinks too many, the girls got up and dragged Bella to the dance floor. I watched for a while, enjoying the view as Bella swayed her hips. After my bladder dictated a trip to the bathroom, a plan began to form. The music tonight had been mostly slow and very sensual. Instead of returning to our table, I waded into the crowd in search of the girls. Maybe I could convince Bella to dance with me. I needed her to see me as a man, not just her childhood buddy, and I hoped maybe a sexy, slow dance would help plant that seed.

I finally spotted a flash of her silky hair in the crowd and headed in that direction but was stopped in my tracks just a few feet away. Some slimy motherfucker had his hands all over her. His Neanderthal hands were clamped on her hips and he had the nerve to fucking grind against her. It was college all over again! I saw red and began stomping towards them with every intention of saving my Bella from this douchebag's clutches but my path was almost immediately blocked by an angry Rosalie.

"Oh, no you don't," she said, placing her hand on my chest.

"Get out of the way, Ro," I seethed.

"Nuh-uh, she needs this."

I gaped at her in disbelief. "She needs this? She needs some asshole feeling her up?"

Rose nodded and I continued to stare at her as if her hair had just turned purple. "That's exactly what she needs. She just wanted to come out and party and forget for a while. You weren't there, Edward, you didn't see what that fuck head did to her."

"No, Rose, I was just there when she showed up on my doorstep in a sopping wet wedding dress, and practically mainlined my entire liquor cabinet while sobbing. That's what I saw. I dealt with the aftermath, I didn't need to see the explosion."

"Fine, but she needed to come out, get drunk, meet new people, and move on."

_Meet new people and move on._ That stung. Bella wasn't just using my birthday party as a distraction or an excuse to let loose. She was here trying to meet other guys. _Already? _I couldn't do this. Not again.

"She said that?"

Rose nodded and my heart ached. I couldn't do this anymore. It was time to let go. I'd been right in front of her for twenty years and it was like she never saw me and now I believed that she never would.

"Whatever, I'm tired and I'm going home. Will you and Em keep an eye on her at least?"

Rosalie eyed me for a moment and then I could practically see the lightbulb pop on in her head. "Oh my God!"

"Rose," I warned.

"You are so fucked."

"Just make sure she gets home."

"Of course," she said, with pity in her eyes. I knew I must be truly pathetic because I'd never known Rosalie to pity anyone.

I began to walk away but turned back one more time. "Rose?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I think I do," she retorted, "I'll keep my mouth shut if that's what you're worried about but for the record, I think you ought to tell her."

It was only a small consolation as I could still see Bella and the Neanderthal grinding just behind her. I turned and stomped off, leaving the club and all of my friends behind.

I walked down the street to a small little market and bought a bottle of whiskey before hailing a cab home. We'd just pulled into the driveway when my phone dinged with a text message. I shoved some bills at the cabbie and headed inside before checking my text. It was from Jasper.

_Rose said you went home. Not feeling well? Guessing that's bullshit. You ok? _

I pounded the screen as my fingers angrily typed my response. _**Nope.**_

_Wanna talk about it?_

_**Nope**_

_Ok, but I'm here when you're ready. _

I almost turned off my cell after that but realized I needed to say one more thing. _**Do me a favor? Cover for me?**_

_Course, man._

With that, I clicked off the phone, turned on the stereo and slunk into an arm chair with the bottle of whiskey. The lights were still off and there was only the faint glow from the stereo display to illuminate the room.

Happy Birthday to me.

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><p>So, that sucked but stick with me friends. It's always darkest before dawn. Besides, Christmas is coming soon and good, little readers may be rewarded with presents.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

All right, last week didn't end well so let's just get this show on the road shall we. I'm hoping to maintain my normal update schedule this week and I think I'll be able to but it is Christmas and I've been a bit under the weather. So, this is just a preemptive apology and a promise that if I miss a day I'll post it asap.

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**EPOV**

I was only home about a half an hour before the door flew open and Bella stumbled in. She was drunk, but judging by the amount of whiskey already missing from the bottle, so was I. She clicked on the light and I immediately recoiled like a vampire from sunlight.

"Fucking turn that shit off!" I hissed.

She immediately flicked it back off and dropped her bag and keys by the door.

"You left!" she accused.

"Didn't feel well."

She snorted and I knew that she wasn't buying what I was selling. "So you decided to come home and drink half a bottle of, what is that?" she sniffed at the air, unable to see the bottle in the dark. "Whiskey?"

"Surprised you even noticed," I seethed, the alcohol beginning to speak for me.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Just seemed to be too preoccupied out on that dance floor to notice where I was."

"So, I was supposed to babysit you tonight?"

I could hear in her voice that she was in the anger phase of drunkenness. That's ok, so was I. "Not at all, but if all you wanted was to find some slimeball asshole to rebound with then you should have just said so. You didn't have to fake a birthday party for me to do it."

Even in the dim light I could see her mouth fall open. A retort formed on her lips but she paused before unleashing it and turned to the stereo behind her where Al Green's "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" was playing softly. How appropriate.

"You and Kate broke up," she breathed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I took a long pull from the whiskey bottle and laughed bitterly at how wrong she was. "Kate and I were never a thing. She's a friend but mostly she's just my boss."

"But…"

"You assumed, Bella."

I watched the gears in her head turn as she replayed each of our conversations about Kate. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I just shrugged as she came closer and took a seat on the couch closest to my arm chair. She held out her hand and I handed over the whiskey bottle, watching as she took a long drink, shuddered and then handed it back.

"I feel like you don't talk to me anymore," she admitted quietly. "Not about anything that really matters. We talk about me but I know nothing about your life anymore."

I knew deep down that I didn't have an argument for that not one that I could admit yet. So, as always happens when you're drunk and stupid, I deflected her genuine concern by being an ass. "Maybe not, but that doesn't mean you have to drag me along to watch you try and hook up with anyone who would look at you."

Bella gasped and recoiled as if I'd slapped her. I watched a single tear fall from her eye and trail down her cheek and I knew I'd gone too far.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling ashamed of myself. I basically just called her a slut. I may have been hurt and drunk but I didn't have the right to talk to her like that. "Fuck, I didn't really mean that. I'm so sorry."

She was quiet for a long time, tears dripping down her cheek that I longed to wipe away for her but I remained in my seat, drowning my sorrows.

"You're right," she said quietly.

"What?"

"Your birthday. This whole party thing? It was totally an excuse. I know you would have been happy with pizza and beer and some friends over here but I made it about me. I just needed to feel pretty again. I wanted someone to dance with me and make me feel beautiful and desired. When James… well, it really fucked with my self-esteem, knowing I wasn't good enough to hold his attention, and I'm beginning to feel like no one is ever going to want me again."

I hung my head, feeling like the piece of shit that I am while also warring with myself. Is this my opportunity? She wants to feel beautiful and desired. I could tell her how I feel. I could make her feel desired again. But I said nothing. I wouldn't use her insecurity for my own selfish reasons. I loved her too much to do that and I wanted her to love me truly, not because she was afraid of being alone. I wasn't going to let her tear herself down either though. I could find a middle ground. I set the bottle of whiskey aside and pulled myself out of the chair.

"Dance with me," I said, holding out my hand to her.

"What?"

"You wanted to dance," I stated. "So let's dance."

"Edward," she sighed, "you don't have to do this."

"I know," I stated firmly. "I want to."

She took my hand and I pulled her to her feet though we both stumbled a bit as all the alcohol of the evening continued to course through our veins. With her hand firmly in mine, I took a few steps back until we were in a more open part of the living room. I pulled her into my arms just as the song switched over and Otis Redding's "These Arms of Mine" began to play. I chuckled internally, feeling as though maybe fate was on my side, as the lyrics of this particular song said everything I couldn't find the nerve to say. _Thank you, Otis._

"Oh, you and your soul music," Bella said with a small smile as she looked up at me, her eyes still filled with tears.

"Don't you knock my soul," I said playfully. "It's miles better than anything they were playing in that club tonight."

"Can't argue with that," she said and laid her head against my chest.

I held her tightly as we swayed to the music. My heart was pounding. I'd loved this girl for two decades. I'd been _in love_ with her for the last seven years but right now, with her in my arms? Something in me had shifted and I was consumed by her. She held my heart in her hands and she had no idea.

"Bella," I breathed. "You are beautiful."

I heard her sniffle as she buried her face further into my chest and felt the moistness of her tears seeping through my t-shirt. "You have to say that," she scoffed.

"No, I don't. I might be your best friend but I'm not your mom and I'm not your dad. I'm not obligated to tell you anything. Right now, I'm just a good 'ol red-blooded American male and I'm telling you, truthfully, that you are gorgeous."

"Really?"

"Come on, B, don't let that asshole dull your shine. What he did only proves his own failure as a man. He had a prize and he threw it away but that doesn't make you less of a prize."

"Would you want me?" she asked quietly. My breath hitched and my heart stopped. _Was she really asking… _But then she clarified her question and my happy little bubble burst. "I mean, if you didn't know me forever. I know it's a totally weird thing to ask, but if we'd just met tonight at the bar and didn't have our history, would you be interested?"

"Absolutely," I answered truthfully before my mind could second guess it. Before I could come up with a million reasons to deflect the question.

She looked up at me with her big, beautiful, chocolate brown eyes filled with surprise. "Really?"

I nodded and a moment passed in which we did nothing but stare into each other's eyes and then something happened. I don't know who made the move but suddenly my lips were on hers and she wasn't pulling away. In fact, one of her hands found its way into my hair. I pulled her tiny body closer, reveling in the warmth of her under my fingertips. Working on its own accord, my tongue swept lightly across her lips, begging for entrance which she readily granted. Her lips parted and I drank her in, as my tongue danced with hers.

But it was over far too soon. As quickly as it had begun, she pulled away from me with a gasp. "Oh my God," she cried, as she brought a hand to her face, her fingers brushing over her swollen lips. "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry."

_Sorry? For what?_

"We drank way too much. Oh God! I'm sorry. I was just so sad. And lonely, and fuck, oh fuck."

Then it hit me. My stomach dropped to my knees as I realized what she was saying. I knew I needed to reassure her, I needed her to know what that kiss meant to me. I needed her to know what she meant to me. But my voice was stuck in my throat as my heart struggled to beat.

"I'm sorry," she wailed. "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry."

Then she was gone. Rushing down the hall. Slamming the door to her bedroom. Leaving me alone with my shattered heart. I knew I should have chased her. There was so much I needed to say to her but her reaction to that kiss had spoken volumes and my heart had withstood enough rejection for one night.

Still struggling to breathe, I snatched the bottle of whiskey off the floor and guzzled as much as my body would allow. I angrily jabbed the power button for the stereo and stumbled down the hall, gulping whiskey as I went. I made it to my room and slammed the bottle on the dresser catching a darkened reflection of myself in the mirror. _Could I survive it this time? _

At that moment, a realization hit and something snapped in me. I assumed that I had initiated the kiss but maybe she had kissed me. Maybe it was purely out of despair and desperation but maybe, just maybe, there was something there. I had nothing left to lose because I knew that I could not continue to live like this. My heart would not allow it.

I walked down the hall to her room. I was too much of a gentleman to just force myself inside but the light was on and I knew she was awake. "Bella," I called out. "We need to talk. I have a lot I need to say to you but I refuse to say it through a closed door. If you need a minute, I'll give you a minute. I'll just be in my studio but let me say this. There is absolutely nothing that you need to apologize for. NOTHING! And second, are you even sure you're the one that initiated it? How do you know I didn't kiss you?"

I walked into my studio and began to play, just to keep myself from pacing the room. It was the same song that I'd been playing before, when I couldn't focus on my job. This song was Bella, it was my heart in music and I played for what felt like an eternity with no sign of my love. I began to wonder if she hadn't heard me but I knew that was impossible. So she wasn't coming because she didn't want to, she didn't want to see me or she had nothing to say to me. I played on, pushing through the pain and the haze of alcohol to let the music pull me under its spell. It was the only thing that dulled the ache. Then everything froze and my fingers stilled over the keys as I felt her presence enter the room.

"You are so incredibly talented," she breathed. "It always surprises me."

"You hear me play all the time."

"Not like that."

"It's for you," I said quietly, still not having mustered the strength to turn around and face her.

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked, spinning around on the bench. She'd changed into cotton sleep shorts and a baggy faded Forks high t-shirt that was so large it just hung crookedly on her. I smiled slightly when I realized that the shirt had probably been mine at some point. She looked even more beautiful like this than she had when she was all done up for the night club.

She looked into my eyes and I could see my own pain reflected in hers. "Say it," she demanded. "Say it out loud. I need to hear it so I know I'm not crazy or drunk or imagining things."

I stood and took a single tentative step in her direction. With a single, deep, steadying breath, I confessed. "I love you Bella. That is, I am in love with you. Have been for years and just too chicken shit to tell you."

"Why?"

"You didn't feel the same and I couldn't lose you. I love you B, and I want to be with you but not at the sake of our friendship."

She was quiet and contemplative for a second before her brow furrowed. The she scowled at me. "Wait a second. How did you know I didn't feel the same?"

I shrugged. "Bella, I've been waiting for a sign that you felt the same for years. It never came."

"You never gave me a chance!"

"I was terrified! What if I lost you forever?"

We were yelling now, standing just a few feet apart and I felt as though my heart had literally stopped beating as I waited for her response to my confession. We stared at each other intensely for a moment but it was Bella who cracked first.

"Edward," she said softly, "I'm not going anywhere."

"But," I whispered.

"What?"

"But you don't feel the same," I finished for her, fighting the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. "It's ok, B. I understand.

I needed to be anywhere but right here and tried to leave but she was blocking my exit. "Edward."

"B," I begged, "please! Let me go."

"No! You are going to listen to me right now!"

"Why?" I asked, my voice cracking. I side stepped her trying to get away before I broke down completely as my entire world began crumbling down.

"Because I love you too!" she screamed.

I froze and stared at her. Did I hear that right or was my whiskey addled brain playing tricks on me? "What?

"I love you, Edward. I can't tell you when it happened, maybe I always have but I didn't realize it until tonight when we kissed but I do. I love you. I am in love with you too."

I crossed the room and she was in my arms in a matter of seconds. I captured her lips with my own hungrily as I cupped her face. She pressed her hands against my chest before slipping them around my neck. Her tiny body melted against me, making my heart pound as I pulled her closer. Our tongues danced and I found my hands buried in her waves of hair, eliciting soft little moans from her into my mouth. Those moans traveled straight to my dick which was rock hard and straining painfully against my jeans but I welcomed it because it was a direct result from having my love right there in my arms.

I lifted her off of her feet and her legs immediately wrapped around my waist as I walked us towards my piano. I set her down on the edge and slipped my hands under her baggy t-shirt finding smooth warm skin. My hands moved higher and higher until I discovered that Bella was not wearing a bra under my old t-shirt. She moaned against my lips as I held her breasts in my hands and lightly ran my thumbs over her pebbled nipples.

I broke from our kiss with a fevered gasp and pulled back just enough to assess her reaction to my touch. "Is this ok?" I whispered.

"Jesus, Edward, I'd tell you if it wasn't," she groaned. And with that, she grasped the bottom edge of the old t-shirt, pulled it over her head in one fluid motion and tossed it across the room. "Satisfied?" she asked, as I shameless ogled the perfect chest of my gorgeous best friend.

"Immensely," I mumbled, as I cupped her right breast and lowered my mouth to her left, suckling at her pert pink nipple. It tasted like heaven and when I gave it a little flick with my tongue Bella's back arched pushing her breast more fully into my mouth as her hands fisted into my hair. I made a mental note of that reaction and repeated the action on the other side. I lavished attention on her breasts for several minutes before kissing a trail down her stomach and hooked my fingers into the waistband of her shorts. I lifted my gaze she gave me a small nod of consent as I slid both the thin shorts and her panties down her legs. _Sweet Mother Mary, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. _

I smiled and remembered a little piece of information she'd divulged recently. I kissed her lips once more, while caressing the impossibly smooth skin of her legs. When I broke away, I carefully pushed her back so she was now lying across the top of my piano and lowered my head to the apex of her thighs.

"Edward," she whispered, her voice small and nervous as she began to draw her knees together. "You don't…"

"I do, love," I replied. "I absolutely do."

With that, I gently pulled her knees apart and nearly passed out from the tantalizing sight in front of me. She was utter perfection and I took a moment to steady my breathing as I realized that this was actually happening. I had to be the luckiest man that ever walked the planet. My fingers touched her first, amazed that she was already so wet, so ready for me. Moving slowly, I inserted one finger into her tight, warmth and then a second enjoying the view as she moaned and arched her back. I couldn't hold back after that and let my tongue dart out to taste her delicious essence, slowly as first as my fingers began to move inside of her.

Her moans grew louder, joined by short, panting gasps for air as I moved from a gentle exploration to a full on assault. I closed my mouth over her clit, alternating between flicks of my tongue and sucking on her sweet, succulent button as my fingers moved harder, faster. Bella bucked against me, her hands either tugging violently on my hair or pounding against the top of the piano.

"Oh God, Edward!" she cried. "Right there, right fucking there, yes, oh God yes! Don't stop. Don't you ever fucking stop!"

I didn't intend to. I would happily do this for the rest of my life. I could die a happy man right here between her legs.

"Holy shit, holy SHIT!" she groaned, tightening her grip on my hair leaving me certain that I'd have a bald spot before the night was through. No matter, she could pull out all my hair. I wouldn't even care because her legs were beginning to shake and her breathing became shallow and rapid letting me know that her climax was near. A fact she was all too happy to confirm.

"Edward! Oh God," moan. "I'm gonna….oh yes, Yes, YES! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" she screamed and nearly rocketed off the piano as she unraveled under me. I wrapped my arms around her thighs, holding her to me as I helped her ride out her high, slowing my movements until she breathing slowed and her thighs stopped quivering.

When I stood, Bella had fallen back against the piano, eyes closed, exhausted and looking utterly satisfied. I couldn't help but puff my chest out a little in pride as I looked at my fantasy come to life. Bella opened her eyes and caught me staring. She sat up quickly and scrambled to cover herself but her own clothes had all been tossed aside. Not wanting her to be uncomfortable, I quickly unbuttoned my own shirt and wrapped it around her. She smiled at me sheepishly as she did up the buttons. I knew her blush well, but never had I made her blush like this and I was sure my own face probably wore its own goofy happy expression.

"That was, uh…"

"Adequate?" I offered with a small smirk.

She giggled and her cheeks turned bright pink. "More like, completely amazing. Holy shit, you are good at that."

"I'm good at lots of things," I replied with a wink, running a finger down her bare arm making her shiver.

"Is that so?" she asked, a playful gleam in her eye. "Why don't you show me?"

_Challenge Accepted!_

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><p>Alright, before anyone yells at me, yes, they have a lot of talking to do but they're drunk and in my experience, when alcohol is involved, the talking comes a little later. ;) Also, I realize some of you may want some 'splaining when it comes to Bella's reactions. That's coming, I promise. Patience my dears. Happy Holidays to you all and I hope you're having fun stress-free (HA!) time with your loved ones.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

If you celebrate Christmas I hope you are having a wonderful holiday. If you don't, I still hope you're having a wonderful day. This chapter is from BPOV so it'll gloss over some of the same things that happened in the last chapter but I tried to keep it from being repetitive. The timeline picks back up where we left off near the end of the chapter.

Also, I just wanted to point out to one reviewer that Edward never EVER called Bella a slut and he never would. He said some things that might have been below the belt and then he felt bad. The word was said in his head, to himself, when he realized his words implied that and he felt horrible for saying what he did but he never actually called her that. Sorry, I would have pm'ed you to correct that but I can't when you leave Guest reviews. I just felt like I needed to stand up for my boy. Remember, if it's not in quotations it's not said out loud.

Without further adieu and because the A/N is already too long...

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

**BPOV**

When I woke up Friday morning, no amount of convincing would have made me believe that I would be ending the day in my best friend's bed, happier and more sexually satisfied than I'd ever been in my entire life. How in the hell had we gotten here? It felt like a whirlwind.

Originally, the plan was just to go out and have a few drinks with friends to celebrate Edward's birthday. I was sick of feeling cooped up in the house. I felt like James was forcing me to hide and I didn't want to give him any more power over me, but I'd underestimated the damage my self-esteem had suffered lately. While shopping with Rose and Alice, I struggled to find anything I felt pretty in and eventually gave control over to Alice when I almost had a panic attack. It was clear that my own perspective had been skewed.

Over lunch the two them gave me the standard girl-power, 'don't let some man get you down' break up speech that you expect from your girlfriends with Rose adding that the best way to get over a man was to get under a new one. She said that James had gone out and had his fun, why couldn't I? After lunch Rose steered us into Victoria's Secret, bought me sexy underwear, slipped some condoms into my purse and promised I'd feel a lot better when I'd fucked James out of my memory.

Maybe that worked for some, but when I put that advice into practice, I just ended up feeling cheap and dirty. Sure, I liked the attention of the men in the bar. Though it had been unconscious, feeling desirable again had probably been my main motivation in suggesting a night out in the club. I liked men telling me I was beautiful. I liked feeling their eyes on me but when someone I didn't know grabbed my hips and pulled me against his erection in an effort to 'dance' with me, I felt disgusting. I didn't know his name, he certainly didn't know mine and he could care less whether I had half a brain, or what my emotional state was. To him I was just something to grind on, a body to feel up, and with any luck, somewhere to dip his wick later. It wasn't just this one man, it seemed they were all like that. After three men trying to rub their dicks on me before even asking my name, I decided I couldn't do this. It just wasn't who I was or what I wanted. I wasn't a 'hook-up' kind of girl. I wanted a guy I could build a life with, laugh with, and have kids with. I wanted someone to take care of me and I wanted to take care of him in return. I was looking for forever and I knew I wasn't going to find it here.

I extricated myself from the random dude's grasp with the excuse that I needed to use the ladies' room and made my way over to rejoin my group. Back at the table I found Alice and Jasper practically dry-humping each other. Seeing them so happy and in love stung more than I would have thought.

"Where's Edward?" I had to practically yell over the loud music.

"Rose said he went home."

"Home?" I blanched. This whole night was for him and he'd gone home?

"I texted him," Jasper said. "He's just not feeling well."

I knew immediately that was bullshit. I looked around the nightclub and my heart sank as I realized how selfish I'd been. This was not his kind of place at all. Any other year he'd have told me so and we'd have done something much more low-key. I knew he'd probably only agreed to this because I'd said I needed to get out, because I'd complained about needing distractions. He came out on his own birthday in an attempt to make me feel better and I'd basically ditched him.

"I need to go," I declared.

"Bella, he's fine. He just told us to make sure you got home ok. Stay and have some fun." I whipped around at the sound of Rosalie's voice. My big brother had his arm around her shoulder, face buried in her hair. A drunk Emmett was an affectionate Emmett. It was gross.

Ugh. I didn't want to be there anymore, where my choices were being the fifth wheel with two happy couples or letting strange men feel me up.

"No, I'm done here. I'm tired. You guys stay, have a good time. I'll get a cab."

I whirled around on my heels and headed out of the club before they could stop me. Being a Friday night, there were plenty of cabs and within minutes I was on my way home. My heart broke when I found Edward sitting in the dark, drowning his sorrows. I'd screwed up and he still had taken care of me, danced with me, made me feel beautiful. I should have seen it then. No, I should have seen it years ago. Edward always did this. He always swept in and saved me when I needed it. He always made me feel loved, special, beautiful, but when we kissed, there was an electrical spark so strong it nearly knocked me on my ass. Yet, all I did was freak out and run away. I scurried to my room cursing under my breath with tears streaming down my face, sure that in my desperation I had pushed away the one person that was always there for me. The best part of our friendship was that is never got weird and I'd just made it weird. He would think I had some crush on him now and we'd never be the same.

"DAMMIT!" I screamed into a pillow after running away like a coward. Why had I kissed him? Was it just simple need? No, I'd gone much longer without sex. I didn't think that was it. Was my self-esteem that far gone? If it was, wouldn't any of those guys at the club have sufficed? I wasn't willing to let any of them kiss me, let alone initiate the action and plenty of them were telling me I was pretty.

I was pacing my room, searching for an answer when I heard footsteps approach. "Bella," he called out and I stopped breathing. My heart may have even stopped beating.

"We need to talk. I have a lot I need to say to you but I won't say it through a closed door. If you need a minute, I'll give you a minute. I'll just be in my studio but let me say this. There is absolutely nothing that you need to apologize for. NOTHING! And second, are you even sure you're the one that initiated it? How do you know I didn't kiss you?"

_What? _Is he really saying that _he _kissed _me_? I sat down on the bed before my legs gave out as my mind went over the implications of that statement. I couldn't think clearly and tried to push away the fog of alcohol so I could remember everything he'd said tonight. He told me I was gorgeous. He was never with Kate. He was mad because I was dancing with other guys. He might have kissed me but even if I had kissed him, he definitely kissed me back and I knew for a fact that I was the one who'd broken it off first. Wait a second!

_Was it possible?_

I went over the clues a million times as I changed my clothes and washed my face. Then I had to ask myself, if it was true, how did I feel about it. That answer was easier. I thought about my epiphany in the club about what kind of man I wanted in my life and nearly slapped myself for being so stupid. Edward was exactly the kind of man that I wanted to spend my life with. He was kind, funny, caring, and talented. No matter what problems I was having, I always felt better when he was around. We could laugh for hours or comfortably sit together in silence. He knew all my flaws and accepted each one. He never tried to change me. James had always made little comments here and there about how I should do things, how I should cook things, how I should dress and so on. He had spent our three years together trying to mold me into some subservient little fifties housewife. However, Edward had known me for twenty years and loved me just the way I was. He was perfect for me and I had never once in our long friendship even considered him because he was off limits as my friend. _But why? _Once I accepted the fact that maybe there was a little more than just friendship between us on his end, I threw open the door and walked out of the room. I don't think I even thought about it.

Looking back, I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out. How did it take me twenty years to figure out he loved me? How did it take me twenty years to figure out that he was the perfect man for me? That he'd been my soul mate since the day he walked into my second grade class room? If it had been my English or Biology class in high school that he'd walked into I'd have been in love from the moment I saw him. Maybe we had just met too young, but we weren't children now.

When I walked into his studio and saw him playing, so into his music that he didn't hear me enter, I knew why I had kissed him. It had nothing to do with desperation or self-esteem. It was because he was the other half of my heart and I had only just realized it. I had kissed him in that moment because I had to. It had been a magnetic pull. I could feel it now as I fought the desire to run to him. Maybe he thought he had kissed me because he felt the same pull? I could only hope.

I got his attention and he turned. Suddenly I was afraid. What if I was wrong? What if that wasn't what he wanted to say to me? What if he wanted to tell me he didn't feel the same? What if he just wanted to let me down easy? Now that I had accepted my feelings for him, I wasn't sure I could live without him. I panicked and took the cowards way out, forcing him to say the words first and then it all almost backfired. I wasn't the only one who was afraid. I could see the fear and hurt in his eyes. He didn't know how I felt and he wasn't letting me tell him.

I never imagined I would be screaming the first time I declared my love for my soul mate. I guess I had assumed James had been my soul mate but that declaration had been very matter-of-fact and business like. We had been together a while and I had strong feelings for him to be sure, so I guess I thought I loved him and told him so over a nice dinner. How wrong I'd been. It felt nothing like this. This was powerful and all-consuming. Like both breathing and being unable to breath at the same time. Like my world would cease to exist if he did not. It felt as though my heart beat in his body and his in mine with twenty years of shared history binding us together.

The moments after I declared my love went by in a blur of kissing and touching. Of searing hands on my skin and tender lips. When he pulled my shorts down and lowered his head, in the back of my mind I recalled a drunken conversation where I'd complained that James refused to do that. I didn't want Edward to feel obligated just because of some rambling I'd done, but he silenced those thoughts quickly and effectively. Within seconds I couldn't form a coherent thought if my life depended on it.

I remembered some teasing immediately afterwards and before I knew what was happening, he had pulled me off the piano and tossed me over his shoulder. I giggled and kicked my feet as he rushed down the hall. When we reached his room, he tossed me carefully onto the bed. I was laughing and trying to catch my breath from our dash down the hall. His eyes met mine and the laughter stopped. Electricity surged through the air, practically crackling around us. I sat up and slid to the edge of the bed where he stood, parting my legs so he was standing between them. His chest was bare since he'd given me his shirt and I tentatively placed my hands on it. I looked up at him as he ran a finger along my cheek and smiled.

"You're so beautiful."

He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me softly as I ran my hands down his stomach and quickly undid his belt and loosened his pants. Without breaking our kiss, we moved further back on the bed, shedding the few pieces of clothing that remained between us until Edward's body completely covered my own. I hitched a leg over his and held on to him tightly as his tongue danced with mine. We became a tangle of limbs, licking, sucking, and tasting each other desperately until I felt him right _there. _ I wanted so much to just let him slide right in but somehow common sense found its way through the whiskey haze and I pulled back and cleared my throat to get his attention.

He lifted his head from my neck and looked at me with concern. "Are you ok, baby? We don't have to… I mean, it's ok to change your mind. We can stop."

"I don't want to stop," I breathed, "but, well…"

"Talk to me, B. I'm still me and you can still tell me anything."

"I don't know if you have condoms but I'm on the pill and I had your dad test me after…you know, and that was all clear." Carlisle had called me two days ago to let me know that my test results all came back clean. "So, I'm good…."

His head dropped and he sighed heavily. "I didn't know you went and did that. I mean, I'm glad you did but I'm fucking pissed that you had to go through that because of that shithead."

I could feel the tension build as his biceps tightened under my hands. "Shhh, hey it's ok. Come back to me," I said softly, caressing his cheek. "I don't want to think about him right now. I only mentioned it because it's the responsible thing and all that. I'm clean and covered so…"

"You're right," he said. "But if I have any condoms they're probably buried away somewhere and they're probably expired. It's been a really long time for me, but I've been tested since and I'm good but…"he left off with a resigned sigh

"Then we're good," I said with a smile. I trusted him. There was no one I trusted more.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that I was about to make love to my best friend and I supposed that it should probably feel more awkward than it did but I didn't care. Nothing in the world had ever felt more right. He lined himself up at my entrance before locking eyes with me.

"I love you," he breathed and then pushed inside of me.

"Oh God," I gasped as he filled me. My fingers dug into the flesh of his shoulders, pulling him closer but never breaking eye contact.

As soon as we'd become one, something shifted inside of me. It felt as if everything in my life had clicked into place and that was the moment that I knew without a doubt that Edward was my life, my entire reason for existence, the other half of my soul. The urgent playful wanting from just moments earlier had melted away. The entire world seemed to slow down and it was just the two of us.

Our lovemaking was slow and unhurried but contained more passion than I'd ever felt in my entire life. Every touch lit my skin on fire, every kiss made my heart pound. We took our time exploring every inch of each other. There was no hurry to the finish line, it was more like the opposite, an overwhelming desire to stretch this moment into eternity. We barely spoke, we didn't need to. It was as though he could suddenly read my mind. He knew where to touch me, where to kiss, where to lick, or nibble, when to move fast and when to slow it down. In return, I instinctively knew everything about him. I discovered sensitive parts of his body that I think even he didn't know existed.

At one point I was on top, riding him slowly as his hands roamed my body. We'd delayed climax a few times by slowing our movements or stopping completely just to hold and caress each other but my climax was building once more.

"Oh God, Edward," I cried, grinding her hips faster and faster. I was so close. "I love you. I need you. I need you, I need you," I repeated. "Please, baby." My voice was shaky and pleading.

He gripped my hips and held me to him as he sat up. I continued to rock against him as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close so my chest was flush against his. I could feel his heartbeat, beating quickly in time with my own, as his other hand cupped my face.

"I love you so much," his whispered, staring into my eyes. "It was always you. It will always be you, and only for me. Forever and ever."

He crashed his lips to mine, kissing me fiercely until I broke away, gasping for breath, crying out each time he thrust into me. "Edward, I'm gonna…"

"It's ok, baby. Let go. Come for me, love."

We rocked together for just a few seconds more and then my eyes locked on his as I cried out loudly. Wave after wave of shot through me and Edward held me tightly, continuing to thrust into me until he found his own release soon after. He came with a guttural roar as he clutched me firmly against him. We clung tightly to one another, riding out the waves of euphoria until sheer exhaustion set in and we both collapsed back on the bed, panting and gasping for air.

It was probably ten minutes before either of us spoke and it was me who broke the silence.

"Holy fuck!" I breathed. "That was…"

"Yeah," was all he could manage.

"I've never…I mean, its never been like that before. I can't even describe it."

"Me either."

I rolled onto my side and he pulled me into his arms, molding his body around mine. "Bella," he whispered hesitantly and I knew I owed him an explanation for the three-sixty I'd pulled this evening. However, I didn't want to ruin this perfect moment of bliss and all of the alcohol and physical exertion were beginning to pull me under.

"I know," I replied. "We're not finished with that talk but can we just enjoy this right now? Real life can wait for morning."

"That it can," he replied with a yawn.

Just before I fell asleep, I remembered what day it was and shimmied in his grasp until I was facing him. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful and happy that it made my heart clench. I might never forgive myself for dismissing this beautiful man in front of me for all those years.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Mmm?" he moaned, still awake but only just.

"Happy Birthday."

That got him to open his eyes as he smiled warmly at me. I leaned in and kissed him softly, letting my tongue graze his bottom lip. He pulled my body tighter against him and then relaxed as we both broke apart.

"Best birthday ever." He said before yawning again and closing his eyes.

"E?"

"Yeah B?" he asked, eyes still closed.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he replied, rolling onto his back and pulling me against his chest as we both finally succumbed to sleep.

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><p>Aww. I'm hoping to post on Friday as usual but sometimes the holidays throw things off. So, if I don't just know that we'll resume our regular schedule on Monday when life calms down again.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

I broke 100 reviews last chapter. Made for an awesome Christmas present. The support you've all given me is incredible. You have no idea how much I love hearing what you have to say and I appreciate every single one of you who is reading this so very, very much.

I own nothing and mistakes are always my own, but I'm warning you that I gave this chapter a final read through very late and after a very long and tiring (but wonderful) Christmas. So, I hope you'll be forgiving.

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

**EPOV**

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, an unsettled stomach, and an obnoxious tickling sensation underneath my nose. The first two made me feel like absolute shit, but I could care less about the tickling since it was a direct result of the gorgeous, silky, brown hair that was splayed out all over my upper body. That tickling sensation meant that everything that had happened the night before was real, it wasn't a dream or a drunken figment of my imagination. Her hair was tickling my face, her arm was lying across my chest, and her leg was hitched over mine. It was real and I couldn't believe it.

I shifted a little and it must have jostled her too much as she grabbed her head and groaned. "No, no don't move, please."

"Sorry sweetheart," I mumbled and placed a kiss on the top of her head and ran my hands down the length of her body. It took a moment for my sleepy brain to register it but my fingers were met with cloth and not the smooth, silky skin I'd been hoping to find.

"Hey, wait a second," I pouted. "How do you have clothes on and I'm still naked? That hardly seems fair?"

She giggled quietly and then grasped at her head from the movement. "Sleeping naked, all cuddled up, skin to skin in the middle of summer? Sounds nice but it's actually, uh, kinda sweaty and sticky. I woke up in the middle of the night and it was hot and I felt like death on a plate. So, I grabbed some clothes, got a bottle of water and found your ibuprofen. Then I got back into bed."

"What'd you do with the pills? My head is killing me too."

"Nightstand."

She slowly and carefully slid from my chest to the other pillow so I could gingerly turn over and face my nightstand. The woman was a goddess, she left a whole bottle of ibuprofen and an unopened bottle of water sitting there. I popped a few into my mouth and downed half the bottle of water, desperately needing to rehydrate. Since it had been a few hours since she'd first taken them, Bella popped a few more as well and finished off the water. Now that she was clothed, it made me feel like a weirdo to just be hanging around naked. So with slow movements, I rose out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and some sleep pants.

When I pulled back the covers to get into the bed I smiled as I noticed that she was wearing my button down from the night before with only half the buttons done up. She saw my little smile and called me out on it. "First thing I saw," she said with a shrug, but when I slid into the bed next to her, she was wearing the cotton shorts from the night before, which had been left in the other room. She'd gone that far for her shorts and still wore my shirt instead of grabbing something of her own while she was up.

"Looks better on you anyways," I replied honestly. It wasn't the first time she'd worn my clothes but it was the first time she'd worn them like _that _and I'll be damned if she ever looked sexier than she did at this moment. I was instantly regretful that our hangovers prevented me from doing anything more than appreciating the view but I reminded myself that the odds were in favor of me being able to do more than look a little later.

When I was back in the bed we carefully we slid closer to each other once more and drifted back to sleep for a few more hours. The next time I woke it was just after noon but my headache was gone and I felt mostly human again. My stomach was a little sensitive still but I expected it would be ok once it had something in it. Bella reported similar symptoms before offering a proposition I couldn't refuse.

"Coffee and Netflix on the couch?"

"Hell yes."

"Can we bring this blanket?" she asked, gesturing to the comforter wrapped around her.

"Duh, of course."

"And the pillows?"

I nodded, giving her an over exaggerated eye roll as I gathered up most of my bedding and carried it out of the room. While Bella picked something to watch, I set to work on the coffee. When I carried the two steaming mugs into the living room, I found that Bella had created a small bed of sorts on the floor with pillows and blankets for us to cuddle up in. It looked exactly like the kind of 'nest' we used to create in my mom's living room to watch movies in as children when the weather was nasty and cold.

"The couch was too small," she said with an adorable little shrug but I didn't care. It looked like heaven.

In the back of my mind I knew I had a million questions that needed to be answered but for now, I'd enjoy this and later we could have that talk. I handed over her mug and she took a careful sip and then smiled.

"I still can't believe you remember how I like it after all these years. This tastes like I made it myself."

"Of course I do. It's not hard, half a spoonful of sugar and just a splash of milk. You've been taking your coffee the same for years. Though if you're splurging on the fancy overpriced stuff you get a double shot white chocolate mocha with plenty of whipped cream because 'what fun is splurging if you don't get whip'," I quoted with a smirk. "Unless of course it's Christmas," I added "then it's a gingerbread latte."

"Wow," she said in surprise. "I'm impressed."

"Pshhh," I scoffed. "That's nothing. You're favorite food is Italian, basically anything with pasta makes you happy but you also get cravings for Mexican food often which is where our weekly taco night came from. You like sweets, especially cheesecake but for general snacking, you choose salty over sweet. You don't mind my comic book action movies but you hate anything with too much gore or with gratuitous violence. You prefer comedies and lots of sappy romantic movies, though you only watch those when you're alone."

Her mouth fell open in surprise then and I laughed. "You leave them in the dvd player," I informed, enjoying the blush that had crept across her cheeks. "Anyways, when it comes to books you read a lot of those young adult books to keep in touch with what your students like reading but you personally prefer the classics, except for Moby Dick, that one bored the hell out of you and took you forever to finish. You like Pride & Prejudice when you're happy but when your love life has beaten you down a bit you tend to go for Wuthering Heights. Not sure I understand why though I guess it would help to read about people whose love lives are way more messed up."

"I can't believe you know all of that about me!"

I shrugged, taking a sip of my own coffee before setting it on the coffee table which she'd shoved off to the side to accommodate our nest. "Why? I'm your best friend. Aren't I supposed to know that stuff?"

"But you're a guy. Guys don't ever notice all that. I was with James for three years, as way more than just a friend and I doubt he knew any of that, not even how to make my coffee. In fact, the last time he picked up Starbucks he brought me back a tea. When have you ever seen me drink tea?"

"Never," I said, confidently. "Your mom used to give it to you when you were sick but you've never liked it."

She grew quiet after that, staring into her cup while I pretended to peruse the Netflix options. When a full five minutes had passed without a word I had enough.

"Alright, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, I just…" she sighed loudly and set down her cup before looking up at me. "I just realized I was going to marry a man who, after three years, still didn't know whether I preferred coffee or tea. All the while, I've never even considered the man who knows me better than I know myself. Do you know that I've never made the connection between what's going on in my life and when I choose to re-read Wuthering Heights or Pride & Prejudice? But you're right about it. I totally do that."

"B, I've just known you a really long time. I bet you can rattle off a whole list of things about me too."

"It's not about the length of time," she said, her voice low and serious. "You just cared enough to notice and remember."

I couldn't deny that. "Well, you could probably answer all of that about me too…and more."

I could see her mull that over for a bit before offering a little nod. "You're right. I can. Funny though, I was just bitching about James but the truth is, I can't answer half of those for him either. I mean, I know how he takes his coffee and I know when we ate out he always chose Indian food or steakhouses but that's about it. I don't even know what his favorite movie is or his favorite song. That's weird, isn't it?"

"Like I said, Bella, I've known you longer."

"But I was going to marry him! Shouldn't I have known that stuff before I even considered marrying him?"

"I don't know, B. What are you trying to say?"

She shrugged and her head dropped sadly. "I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how my life went wrong. How I could agree to marry a man who, apparently, I barely knew and who obviously barely knew me in return? You heard him, he wanted me to spend my life barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. In three years he couldn't figure out that I'm not exactly the June Cleaver type. I wasted years on a man who had no qualms about being unfaithful and getting another girl pregnant, so clearly he didn't really even care much about me. Yet I totally ignored the one who did. God, I'm so fucked up."

I could see her eyes grow watery as tears threatened to fall but she was stubborn and I watched her try to hold them back.

"Stop it, Bella. Don't do that to yourself. Hindsight is twenty-twenty you know? Plus, you did not ignore me. I saw you all the time."

I reached my hand over to hold hers but she pulled it back quickly. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm still struggling with the fact that I was so stupid and naïve to think I could marry a man that I clearly didn't know that well and believe we'd live happily ever after. Meanwhile, there's a man who knows me better than I know myself, who's always been there for me, who has loved me," her voice cracked with emotion and the tears began to form once more, "for years, I think you said, and I was too stupid to see it. That's what I mean by ignoring you. James looked good on paper and so I spent years trying to force something that was completely wrong that I couldn't see the right thing when it was staring me in the face. I'm so sorry, Edward."

"For what?"

"For refusing to acknowledge what was right in front of me. For never allowing myself to even consider you as more than a friend. I don't know why. You are the best man I know, kind, fun, caring, honest, responsible, smart. How did I not notice that you were also sexy as hell?" The last little bit came out as a whisper and her eyes grew wide and her face turned beet red as she realized what she'd just said aloud.

My ego had heard it loud and clear though and I couldn't hold back the smirk that crossed my face. "What was that?" I teased.

"Nothing," she insisted, dropping her head but we both knew I heard it. To stave off her embarrassment, Bella decided to turn the tables.

"So, when you said you loved me for years you never said how many. Now I'm curious because, until the Jessica and Mike debacle, you seemed to enjoy screwing around with whoever. You kinda so I know you haven't always been in love with me. I wanna know when it started."

_Uh-oh. _

I picked up my cup and took a strong fortifying drink of my coffee as I looked for a way out. There wasn't one. Honesty had worked for me last night and if I wanted to make this work with Bella, it needed to be built on honesty.

"Um, like seven years."

"Seven?"

It was my turn to drop my head. "Junior year. Remember the party you threw after the 'Jessica-Mike debacle'?" I asked, stealing her own phrase. You danced with some guy and I got really mad and it became a huge thing?"

"Yeah?"

"That's the night I knew. I didn't realize it until after our fight but that was it."

She was very quiet for a second as she processed all this new information. I could almost see our history replaying in her head. Thankfully, I had set down my coffee cup because the next thing I knew a massive pillow hit me square in the face.

"What the fuck?" I cried.

"Seven years?" she yelled. "Seven years and you said nothing? What the hell, Edward?"

"I was scared," I said which only earned me several more whacks with the pillow.

"Of what, you colossal dumbass?"

"Of getting murdered by pillows for one!" I hollered, throwing up my arms to defend myself. When she tried to hit me again I was ready for it. I grabbed the pillow and tugged on it but Bella wasn't letting go and so I ended up pulling her on top of me and nearly toppling over in the process.

Bella was now lying on top of me and we were both laughing and breathing heavily. I moved a strand of hair out of her face and caressed her cheek tenderly. "_This,_ Bella. I was afraid of losing this."

"You couldn't lose me if you tried," she replied.

"Even if I had told you I was in love with you back then?"

She pushed against my chest and sat up as she pondered that question. "Truthfully?"

"Sure, let's have it." She was mine now so I had nothing to fear.

"If you'd just come out with it and announced it out of the blue, it might have freaked me out just because we were never like that."

"That's why I never said anything," I began.

She gave me her stern teacher face and I immediately shut up. "I'm not finished."

"Sorry."

"Shush," she said with a smirk. "Anyways, as I was saying. I might have freaked out, but I would have thought about it and I would have realized that I could never find a better man than you. If I wasn't such an idiot I would have seen that for myself years ago. I think I locked away the idea of you and I _in that way_ so long ago that I had lost the key and forgotten that the idea was even possible. I always told myself it would be weird and awkward, like being with Emmett or something."

I must have made a face at the visual that gave me because Bella laughed and said, "Right? Gross!"

"Bella, please tell me last night was not like being with your brother. If it was I may need you to put me out of my misery right here and now," I said, only half joking.

"Oh my God! Edward!" she screeched and once again I was being smacked in the face with a pillow. "First of all, I have absolutely no basis for comparison so…yeah. Secondly, I think I might barf and it'll be all your fault so any mention of Emmett ends here or else you'll be stuck with a lot of puke-y laundry. Lastly, I can confidently say that last night was the single most incredible experience of my life and I will be forever grateful to the liquor Gods for letting me actually remember it."

That thought hadn't even crossed my mind and suddenly I felt like the world's biggest shit for allowing our first time to happen while we were drunk out of our minds. "Shit, Bella, I didn't…I mean…fuck, I screwed it up didn't I? I had a better plan, I promise. I wanted to tell you how I felt but not that way. And our first time? Dammit, I should have taken you out, somewhere nice and treated you like a queen. Instead we were drunk and yelling and…"

"Edward, get the fuck out of your own head for once, will ya?" she said, and then moved to straddle my lap, taking my face in her hands. "I just told you that it was incredible. Fuck, it was mind-blowing actually! I didn't even understand that phrase before now. I mean, sex was always nice and all but last night? Holy shit! Who cares if you didn't wine and dine me? That wouldn't be us! If we're going to do this I want to still be us, and our idea of wine and dine is Two Buck Chuck and Taco Bell. You wanna get fancy? We can get a whole box of wine and some Chipotle."

I snorted and she smiled. "See, you know that's more our speed. Let's learn from that disaster of a nightclub last night and stick to what works for us."

"Like spending a Saturday in a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor watching movies like we did when we were ten?"

"You're learning."

I couldn't believe this had all worked out, that she was mine and that we were really doing this. "Sorry, I'm such a slow learner," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. "I just realized we were drunk for our first time and felt like shit. Last night was amazing but I don't want to feel like I took advantage of you. I love you so much, I don't want to screw this up."

"Edward?"

"Yes, B?" I replied, as she sat back.

"I'm sober now."

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"I said that I'm sober now," her voice dropped to a low husky tone and she moved to the top button of her shirt to accentuate her point. "You didn't take advantage of me. If I recall, you gave me plenty of opportunities to stop it if I was uncomfortable with anything and, drunk or not, I would have if that's how I felt. I'm not scared of you. If you had tried to do something I wasn't down with I woulda called you out on it and told you to back the fuck off."

She popped the button free and I began salivating as her breasts came into view. "But I wanted you, Edward," she said, working the next button free. "I wanted you last night when I was drunk and I want you again right now while I'm sober."

She ground her hips a little as she toyed with the third button. "I trust you, Edward. I would trust you with my life. I just need you to trust that I will always tell you the truth. Good or bad. You should know that by now."

"Of course I trust you," I protested, wanting desperately to touch her. But it felt like she was making a point and I was trying to let her make it even though her hips wiggling against my hard as steel erection was bordering on torture and making it damn near impossible to form coherent thoughts.

"Then believe me when I tell you that last night was perfect but if you'd like to try and top it…"

The girl was good. She knew I was a perfectionist who loved a challenge and so she knew just what to say. I took it as my greenlight and my inner caveman took over as I all but ripped the shirt off of her. She crushed her lips to mine and rocked devilishly on my lap as my hands roamed every exposed inch of skin. She was so soft she would probably make silk feel like burlap in comparison. It was pure heaven.

However, her grinding her little lap against me was hell, at least while we still had too many layers of clothing separating us. With my arms securely around her I flipped onto her back. "Mmm," she moaned against my lips before placing kisses along my jaw. "I kinda like this new form of wrestling we have."

"Do you? Because you're still going to lose," I teased as I lowered my head to her gorgeous succulent tits, flicking the pert little nipple of one with my tongue as my hand gently massaged the other.

"Am I? I'm pretty sure I'm winning right now," she let out with a gasp.

"Isabella Swan, I've known you forever. So, how is it I'm just finding out what a vixen you are?"

She tugged on my hair and I lifted my head to look up at her. "Because you forgot the most important part of our friendship. We can tell each other anything. No matter how scary. Got it?"

"Got it. Now can I show you how sorry I am?" I tried to lower my head back to worship at her breasts but she tugged on my hair again, keeping me facing her.

"Nope."

"What?" I cried. My lower lip may have even come out in a petulant show of protest.

"No more apologies," she said breathlessly. "We've both said ours now and we can probably argue faults or mistakes forever but it doesn't matter. It all worked out and we're here now, together, and it feels amazing."

I couldn't argue with that. "Ok, then can I show you how much I love you?"

Her entire face lit up as she smiled. "Only if I can return it."

I paused with the realization of my dreams coming true. I was in love with this woman and she was in love with me in return. I pushed myself forward and captured her lips with a ferocity that caught her off guard and elicited a small gasp from her. The electricity between us practically crackled in the air as our kisses grew hungry and desperate. Bella slid her hands down my back and slid under the waistband of my pajama pants and pushed them down. I broke away from her just long enough to take them and my boxers off completely. She lifted her hips so I could slide her shorts down and I did so at lightning speed just so I could get back to kissing her again.

We became so wrapped up in each other that neither of us heard the sound of the key in the lock of the front door. Or the sound of the door opening. But both of our heads snapped up in surprise and utter horror as an all too familiar voice pierced our quiet little bubble.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

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><p>Any bets on who it is? I imagine a lot of you will figure it out but I'd love to hear your theories. See you Monday!<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

I'm so sorry for missing Monday's post. My internet decided to go all wonky literally right as I was trying to upload this chapter. Ugh. Gotta love technology, right? Anyways, I broke 100 on both reviews and favorites last week. Made me ridiculously happy. Thank you all for the support you've shown. You guys are awesome.

I had a good array of guesses for who is at the door, with Emmett and Alice being the top contenders for our Nosy Nellie. Let's find out who was right.

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

**EPOV**

"_What the fuck?" _

Beneath me, Bella was attempting to melt into the floor and buried her face in my chest as I simply stared, dumbstruck, at the intruder.

"Edward!" Alice screamed and quickly turned around to face the wall, her hands clasped tightly over her eyes reminding me that my bare ass was on display. Bella was covered by my body but tried to help me out by grasping a corner of the blanket we were lying on. She attempted to toss it over me one handed but I snatched it away and quickly covered my nakedness, effectively wrapping Bella and I up like a burrito. We could barely move but that was the least of my worries at the moment.

"What the hell, Alice?" I growled. "Knock much?

She didn't turn around but I didn't mind. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to face my baby sis ever again. 'I did!" she cried, "and I've been calling all morning but it goes to voicemail. Edward, I'm really worried. Bella left the club alone last night after you left and no one has talked to her since. She's not answering her phone. Not for anyone!" Alice was rambling nervously now, standing in the corner of the room like she was in some kind of self-imposed time-out. I would have found the entire situation hysterical except that I could hear the genuine concern in Alice's voice. "Did she come home last night? Have you talked to her?"

"Alice," I shouted, interrupting her. "Turn around."

"Nuh-uh," she said, shaking her head vigorously. "I've seen enough of your ass today. Just tell me that you've seen her or know where she is and I'll let you get back to your little friend. Nice to meet you by the way, I'm his sister."

I looked down at Bella who had covered her mouth with both hands to stop the laughter that was threatening to bubble out of her.

"I'm covered up. I promise. Just turn around."

Alice turned around hesitantly, hands still covering her eyes. I saw her peek through her fingers just as Bella moved her head into Alice's line of sight. "Uh…hi," she said sheepishly. "I, uh, made it home ok."

"Holy shit!" Alice breathed.

"So, yeah, everything is good here, sis."

"Holy shit," she repeated, as her brain processed the scene in front of her. "How? I mean…wait, what? I, uh…"

"You're babbling," Bella pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah, I should, um, go."

Bella caught my eye and I could see the worry in her eyes. We barely knew what was happening here. Did we want the rest of the family to find out about us from my sister? No, that wouldn't go over well.

"Alice," I begged. "This is very new. Can you maybe keep your trap shut till we figure things out?"

My poor sister look thoroughly traumatized but nodded her head. "Sure. I'll just tell everyone that you were home and just…"

"Hungover," Bella supplied helpfully. "Tell 'em we were hungover and sleeping it off."

"Ok," she said, slowly coming around as the shock of finding the two of us naked in the living room began to wear off. "But you might want to figure it out quick. Mom said to tell you that she wants to do dinner tomorrow for your birthday and she's inviting the Swans."

_Fuck!_

"Oh Jesus," Bella breathed and slammed her head back in frustration. "Do we pretend nothing happened or do we tell them we're…what are we?"

I looked from her to my sister and back to her, trying to communicate that I didn't really want to have this discussion bare ass naked, covered only by a blanket and with my sister in the room.

"Hey, why don't you guys come have dinner with me and Jazz? We can barbeque."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I groaned as Bella finally cracked and began laughing at the absurdity of the situation. "Can we discuss double dating at like, any other fucking time, Al?"

"No, I mean you can come talk to Jazz and I, and it'll be like a dress rehearsal for tomorrow when you tell the parents. Jasper is great at this stuff."

I knew she just wanted the inside scoop before everyone else but when I looked at Bella to see what she thought she just shrugged at me and snickered. "Sure, what the hell, right? But uh, you think we can uh...finish up here?"

"Huh?" Alice asked. She'd been actively looking anywhere but at us for the duration of our conversation but Bella's last comment brought her gaze back down to the two of us tangled in a comforter. "Oh gross! Yeah, I'm outta here. Six-thirty sound good? You don't have to bring anything."

"We'll bring booze," I moaned as Bella began laughing again. "Lots of it."

With that Alice was out the door though she couldn't help but pop her head back in, eyes closed, with one last comment. "By the way, I'm happy for you guys," she exclaimed before disappearing and slamming the door behind her.

Now alone, Bella and I just stared at each other for a moment before exploding into peals of laughter. "Oh God," Bella gasped. "Did that really just happen?"

"Why the heck did you agree to dinner?" I cried. I sat up and let Bella wrap herself in the blanket as I reached for a throw to cover my junk.

"She had a point. We need to figure out what to tell our parents. They're going to want to know how we ended up togeth… um, like this." She blushed furiously and waved her hand between us. "Unless you'd like to tell them that we got drunk and screwed around on your piano."

I thought of Charlie and his access to firearms and shook my head. "No, let's not tell them that. Can we just settle one thing real quick though?"

"What's that?"

"We ARE together. I mean, if you'll have me, of course."

"Of course I will. We just didn't define anything and I didn't want to presume," she looked up at me sheepishly, hugging the blanket to her tightly.

"C'mere," I said softly, holding out a hand to her. She straddled my lap and pulled the blanket around the both of us as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. My dick had run away and hid when my sister showed up but now with Bella's soft, naked breasts pressed against my chest, he was slowly starting to come out of hiding. I had to focus though, because I had something important to say before I could start down that path again.

"My Bella, it feels inadequate and far too casual for the way that I feel about you, but will you please be my best friend _and _my girlfriend?"

"Duh, of course." She replied as if the question was utterly ridiculous.

"There, we've defined it. Happy now?" I teased.

"Nope," she replied matter-of factly with a defiant look in her eyes.

"What? Why?"

"Because you're not kissing me."

I remedied that fact the moment the words left her mouth, kissing her hungrily. She lifted her hips enough for me to pull the small throw blanket off my lap and position myself at her entrance. "Fuck," I moaned as she lowered herself onto my lap, enveloping my cock in her tight, wet heat.

Bella rocked against me slowly at first, almost hesitant. "You ok?" I asked, caressing her cheek.

"I'm wonderful," she said quietly.

"Then what's wrong?"

She blushed and dropped her head. "I, uh, I'm not used to being the one in charge."

I was confused by what she meant for a moment and then it dawned on me that if James had expected her to be a good little submissive housewife, then that belief had probably applied to the bedroom as well. _Stupid asshole. _"You were on top last night," I pointed out.

"I was shitfaced. Liquor always makes me act like a whore. That's why _he _didn't like me to drink much, among other reasons."

If I didn't have this beautiful woman on my lap, I knew I'd be on my way to track James down and give him another ass beating. She was more important though and I cupped her face in my hands and stared into her gorgeous eyes. "Don't you ever call yourself that! There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself. Jesus, especially when you're in a committed relationship."

There was sadness and shame in her eyes and that nearly slayed me. I'd watched her change during her relationship with James but I never realized how controlling and manipulative he'd been. My Bella was a smart, independent woman and that jackass had been systematically stripping that away from her.

"I'm sorry. I'm killing the mood. I told you, I don't know what I'm doing."

"No apologies, babe. I only have to look at you and I'm in the mood because you are the most perfect woman I've ever known. Put his bullshit out of your head because there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. There's nothing to it, baby, just do what feels good."

"I love you," she breathed and pressed her lips to mine. My tongue slipped into her mouth as she began rocking her hips against mine, slowly at first but quickly picking up speed as our kiss deepened. She buried her hands in my hair and tugged at it roughly as she arched her back. _Damn. _The girl was sexy as fuck. I just hated that she felt like she needed permission to own it.

"That's it, baby," I breathed against her ear as I let my hands cup her breasts, running my thumbs over her nipples. "You feel so good."

"Would you lie back, maybe?" Bella asked shyly.

I didn't respond, just shifted a little so I could lie on my back. Bella placed her hands on my chest for support as she lifted her hips slightly and then slid back down on my cock slowly. "Fuck," she exhaled. Her breath a little ragged as she repeated the action, a little harder and a little faster each time. She lifted a hand towards her chest but stopped herself and placed it back on my own.

"Touch yourself," I begged. While I loved the feel of her hands on my body, I didn't want her to censor herself. Not to mention, just the idea of watching her enjoy her own body nearly made me cum right then.

"What?"

"It's ok, love," I said reassuringly, running my hands along the tops of her thighs and gripping her hips. "It's your body and it's a gorgeous one. There's nothing wrong with enjoying it."

Bella ran one hand slowly down the length of my body, causing me to shiver as she gently scraped her nails over my stomach. Then she brought that hand up to her breast, squeezing it gently before bringing the other hand up as well. Once she'd gotten started, my girl's inner vixen took over. She threw her head back and, with my hands to steady her, began riding me hard and fast. One of her little hands continued to knead and caress her perky tit while the other slid down her body, over her belly to where we were joined.

"Yes," I hissed, feeling my release nearing. "That's it, baby."

"Edward," she moaned, her fingers working furious circles on her clit as she panted for air. "I'm gonna…"

"Come for me, baby. I'm almost there," I gasped, my fingers digging into her hips as I tried to hold off my own release until she was satisfied.

Within seconds, I felt her tighten around me like a vice grip as her body began to shudder. Watching my girl cum was a sight to behold. Her entire body flushed pink and her eyes closed as she cried out in ecstasy. I slammed her hips down onto me one last time as I exploded into her. We both cried out together and Bella slumped against me, physically spent, as we rode out our orgasms together.

After several minutes of catching our breath, Bella reluctantly removed herself from my lap and wrapped the two of us in the blanket again. "I should shower," she stated, tugging at her now tangled mess of hair. "Can't go to dinner looking freshly fucked, can I?"

"Sure you can," I laughed. "You've never looked better."

"Well, we've already traumatized your sister. I imagine she's at home right now trying to bleach her brain. We probably shouldn't remind her of it."

"Alright," I said with a resigned sigh. "Let's go shower."

"Let's?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I need to shower too," I reminded her. "Might as well save water. It's the green thing to do."

Bella burst into laughter. "Well, it might be green but I'm not sure I can handle your conservation efforts right now, if you know what I mean."

"Oh no, Bella, I didn't mean that. I, uh, need a minute…or twenty, myself. I just thought it'd be nice to soap each other up and stand under the nice hot water together. I'll wash your hair, massage your scalp…"

She put a hand up and stopped me mid-sentence. "You had me at massage."

An hour later and after using up all the hot water in the house, Bella and I were cleaner than we ever been and wrapped in towels on my bed. "I need to go get dressed," Bella said, taking my hand as she hesitantly rose off the bed.

In my mind I knew she was just going down the hall for a few minutes but I couldn't help but pout at the idea of her leaving. "You should just move your stuff in here."

Bella stopped and stared at me like I'd grown another head. "What?"

"Why not?" I asked. "It's not like you and I need to get to know each other. I don't want to take things slow. You've already been my other half for most of our lives. I love you and I just want you in my life, in my room, in my bed. All the time."

"Ok," she said with a smile. "I'm in. Forever and ever."

I stood up and kissed her but she placed her hands against my chest and pushed me back gently, preventing our kiss from going any further. "I do still need to go get dressed."

So, I reluctantly let her go and set to work getting myself ready for dinner. Bella returned after awhile, looking as beautiful as ever and took my hand as we walked to my car. She continued to hold my hand as we drove to the store and picked up a few bottles of wine. I loved being out in public with her on my arm. It just felt right. I drove us the last few blocks to Alice and Jasper's place and as we went around back and entered their backyard, Bella took my hand again. Jasper looked up from the barbeque on the deck, immediately took note of our clasped hands and smiled. He didn't appear too shocked so it was clear Alice had told him what she'd seen, not that I was surprised. I never expected that she'd be able to keep it from Jasper. I just hoped that was as far as it had spread.

Before we could say anything to Jazz, Alice came out of the house, arms full of plates and utensils. I reluctantly dropped Bella's hand and moved to help my little sister. I took the plates and set the small patio table while Bella helped Alice bring out the rest of the food. In no time the four of us were seated around the table enjoying our dinner and avoiding the large elephant that practically sat in the middle of the table.

True to his nature, it was Jasper that broached the topic. "So…you two?"

I looked at Bella, letting her take the lead. I knew my answer to the question and I had an idea of Bella's based on the last twenty-four hours but I was just as eager as the others to hear what she had to say.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," she said shyly.

Alice was quiet but beaming, clearly she had gotten over her shock and moved directly into our corner. _Thanks sis._

"Taking it slow, I hear?" Jazz commented with a playful smirk.

"Well, I know twenty years isn't a terribly long time, but I figured that was slow enough," I cracked, trying to keep the mood light. "I'm just grateful she can stomach my ugly mug."

Bella swatted at my arm and scoffed. "Whatever! You know you're hot." She immediately blushed and focused her attention on pushing her salad around her plate.

Alice giggled and bounced in her seat a bit. "You guys are so cute," she cried. "How did this not happen sooner?"

"Allie," Jazz warned with a shake of his head, sensing this might be a sensitive topic but Bella just shrugged.

"Sometimes when you're too close, you can't see what's been right in front of you," she said quietly as she took my hand and pulled it into her lap. She smiled softly and I smiled back, forgetting my sister and future brother-in-law for a moment as I got lost in her gorgeous eyes. Alice clapping and bouncing up and down again brought me back.

"This is really new," I said, giving Bella's hand a little squeeze. "So, if you two can keep it to yourselves for a bit? I think we'll tell everyone tomorrow but…"

"Of course, man," Jasper said without hesitation though I already knew I could trust him.

Alice nodded vigorously. "Totally! I'm so happy for you guys and I promise, I can keep my big mouth shut if it helps give you guys a better shot. But, I'm totally curious. Isn't it just a little weird? I mean you've been friends like, forever."

_Goddammit, Alice! _Of course she had to bring up my one big fear, that Bella would find it just too weird to be intimate with her oldest friend. We already knew we enjoyed each others company. We already trusted and loved each other. That was the easy part but intimacy was a new territory. So far I hadn't picked up on any weirdness but what if Bella had?

Bella flushed again and glanced at me cautiously, almost like she was hesitant to say anything in front of me. _This can't be good._

"Well," she said quietly. "A week ago, yeah, I would have told you it would just be too weird to, uh, _be _with him. I mean, I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. We're practically family. But at the same time, it wasn't weird at all. Kissing him for the first time was the most natural feeling in the world, like a magnetic pull. Everything else just sorta faded away. It doesn't feel weird, it feels right. It feels like we were always supposed to be together."

With that she took my hand and smiled at me. My chest felt like it was going to burst and I couldn't recall ever being happier than I was in this moment as I smiled back at the most beautiful woman in the world. A woman who it seemed, was now all mine.

"Oh my God," Alice sighed, though I barely paid her any mind. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"Sorry," Bella mumbled to me. "That was probably really cheesy."

I leaned in and kissed her cheek softly, whispering in her ear. "Not at all. That was probably the most amazing thing I've ever heard. Is that really how you feel?"

She nodded and I kissed her cheek again. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered in return.

Our whispered declarations were clearly overheard as I registered my little sister squealing and bouncing in her chair like a toddler being offered a candy bar. "Mom is going to freak out!" she cried.

That snapped Bella and I right out of our little love bubble. "Alice!" I snapped.

"No no. I'm not going to tell her. I'm just saying. Oh, please don't tell her until I get there! Her head is going to explode. She's been planning your guys' wedding since junior high."

"Seriously?" Bella asked, turning to me.

I threw my hands up in self-defense. "Don't look at me," I cried. "I know she hoped we'd end up together but from what I hear, your mom did too."

"And you were all going to let me marry James anyways?"

"We thought you were happy, Bella," Alice said softly. "I didn't really like him but it was never something I could actually put my finger on, just a vibe, you know. I didn't think it was my place to tell you what to do with your life over something stupid like a feeling. I think a lot of us felt like that but believe me, if we knew anything concrete, like about that girl or something, we would have told you. I just didn't want to push you away so I tried to be supportive."

Bella sighed and nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just mad at myself for not seeing through his bullshit. I feel like the world's biggest dumbass. I completely fell for his lies and his manipulations. God, he was fucking brainwashing me and I didn't see it."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked, his face taking on that concerned therapist face. "Brainwashing, how?"

I gave Bella's hand a little squeeze and offered a reassuring nod. "Well," she began, her voice a little shaky, "I always knew he was very traditional. He wanted the perfect family, two point five kids, a dog and a white picket fence. I thought I wanted that too. I mean it sounds nice, right? So, I didn't even notice when he started suggesting things because it began so innocently. He'd tell me he preferred me in one dress over another or that my hair looked nicer down than pulled back. Then, the next thing I know, I'm totally dressing differently, the way he wanted me to dress. He had this thing about being 'lady-like' too. I couldn't drink too much because it 'wasn't lady-like'. I couldn't swear or…" she trailed off, her cheeks turning a bright pink color and I knew she was thinking about this afternoon. "Anyways, he was slowly taking away my identity and I couldn't see it. I didn't even really understand the extent of the damage until today."

"What happened today?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, it's a bit, uh, personal." I answered for her, not wanting her to feel pressured to talk about it and thankfully, Jasper and Alice nodded in understanding.

"And it doesn't matter. James wanted a quiet submissive little woman he could parade around on his arm at work parties. Someone to make him dinner, clean his house, and have his babies. He wanted me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I'm sure you heard what he said last week about 'letting me keep my job until the babies came'." Bella laughed bitterly at that. "He was molding me to be that, to be just like his mother. A good little wife at home while he ran around and had his fun with whoever. I just can't believe I fell for it."

"We all did, baby," I said quietly. "I hated him, yeah, but because he had what I wanted. I would have hated anyone. He was a sneaky son of a bitch. I know you better than anyone in the world, and I saw you changing, but even I thought those changes were coming from within you. If I had any idea he was controlling you like that I would have kicked his ass a long time ago."

"Me too," Alice piped up.

"Me three," Jasper added, "and I'm trained to see that kinda shit. Though, I didn't know you before you were with him so it would have been harder for me to notice anything different but, Bella, you can't blame yourself. This is what abusers do. They isolate and manipulate until they have complete control over you. If I'm being honest, this was probably just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his abusive behavior. I think if you had married him, you would have eventually found yourself in a very scary situation."

I knew he was right, especially after the way James' entire personality had shifted from before the wedding to the day we were moving her out. For the first time in three years, we had seen the real James. Everything else had been an act and it made me sick to my stomach that I had allowed it continue for so long. If I hadn't been such a pussy for years she could have even avoided him entirely.

"Uh, can I ask a question that might piss you both off but I think it's important to ask?" Jasper asked. I leveled a steely glare his way and noticed Bella take a deep fortifying breath before nodding her head.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you guys but Bella, you just got out of, what sounds like, a relationship that at least bordered on being emotionally abusive. I know you care for Edward, and I understand that he's always been there for you. This week, especially, he's been like a savior for you, sweeping in to take care of you."

"What are you trying to say, Jazz?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure what you are feeling for Edward is genuine and not a side effect from everything you've been dealing with?"

"Jasper!" Alice cried out as I shot out of my chair and stared him down.

"How fucking dare you!" I seethed.

I felt Bella's small hand slip into mine and tug. "Shh, E. It's ok. Sit down, please. He has a point."

I turned and gaped at her. "What? Are you saying that I'm just, what? A rebound?"

"Of course not," she replied, tugging on my hand again until I flopped into my chair, feeling suddenly like the wind had been knocked out of me. "Let me answer the question."

I nodded dumbly as she turned to Jasper. "I understand your concern and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind. Last night when I came home, Edward does what he always does, he put my needs ahead of his own and he took care of me. Then I kissed him, just out of the blue. I immediately felt like shit and I ran away to my room. I didn't know then how he felt and I thought I'd thrown my friendship away just to boost my self-esteem. Edward came to my door and told me we needed to talk but he also implied that maybe he had kissed me and not the other way around. When he said that, it was like this path appeared for me, one I'd never considered taking. I didn't just run after him as soon as I realized he might be available to me though. I thought about it for a very long time. I love him. He's my best friend and I had to be sure of my own feelings before I could talk to him. I'm sorry I made you wait so long," she added, smiling at me and squeezing my hand.

"It's ok," I said quietly.

"I thought really long and hard about what had led me to kiss him and what I realized is this. It wasn't desperation or need that led me to kiss him. If that had been it, I probably would have gone home with one of the guys at the bar. Simply put, I kissed him because I needed _him_! I needed Edward and no one else. This man has loved and accepted me just the way I am for decades. He is my happy place. He makes me feel secure, comfortable, confident, beautiful, and a million other wonderful things. Sure, the timing sucks but I am with him now because he is the other half of my soul. I can't imagine my life without him. Even before the wedding, I felt like the world was spinning out of control and I was just trying to figure out how to get by. I thought it was normal, like everyone felt that way, but it wasn't. It was my gut trying to tell me that everything was wrong. Since last night, it feels like the world has clicked back into place. He's always been the love of my life. I'm just finally admitting it."

She was looking at me with such love that I thought my heart might burst. "I feel exactly the same way, love," I told her and then leaned in to kiss her softly before turning back to Jazz and Alice.

Jasper sat quietly while my sister dabbed at her eyes, wiping away a couple tears. "Happy now?" I asked.

"Very," he replied. "I didn't mean anything by it, you know that. I'm just trying to look out for both of you. Congrats you guys."

I knew then that he was being sincere and that I'd overreacted because deep down, I'd been afraid of that very thing. "Sorry for blowing up at you."

He waved off my apology and that was the last of it. The rest of dinner was filled with regular conversation. I told them about my upcoming projects and Alice detailed her plans for redecorating their kitchen. After dinner we helped with the clean-up and then excused ourselves to head home. Tomorrow, we would come out to the rest of our family but tonight, she was all mine.

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Was Jasper right or wrong to ask that question? My internet is still being sketchy and being a holiday week isn't helping but I'm hopeful that it'll all be settled in time for Friday's usual update. Happy New Year to you all. Stay safe!<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Hope you all had a very happy New Years. I had a nice quiet evening at home and I resolve to write more.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**BPOV**

I woke in the morning with my head lying on Edward's chest. My arm was draped across his bare stomach while his arm was wrapped around my back, his massive hand resting on the small of my back. Below the waist I was a bit sore but it was a good sort of sore and I couldn't help but smile. It should have been weird. In the last day and a half we'd made love a handful of times and each time had been completely amazing.

Tanya had told me once that Edward was an excellent lover. I remembered cringing and telling her in no uncertain terms that I did NOT want to hear about his prowess in bed, just as I refused to listen to Rosalie talk about my brother that way. When I began to accept that my feelings for Edward might run a little deeper than platonic, I hadn't had time to think about it. I was grateful for that though. I think if I'd stopped to think about how awkward it might be, it would have turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But much like the entirety of our friendship, intimacy just seemed to come naturally for us. I'd always known he was attractive but when I allowed myself to look at him, not as my oldest friend but as a man, I saw parts of him I'd never noticed before. The strength in his chiseled jaw and his plump kissable lips. _How had I ever missed those?_ He was in excellent shape but I'd always known that. What I didn't know was exactly how firm and defined his chest was, how tracing the contours of his strong arm muscles would cause a tingling deep in my belly, or the way my hand running over his abs caused my nipples to harden and ache.

I could feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and knew he was still fast asleep. I lifted my head enough to see his face. He looked so peaceful and I took the opportunity to study him as he slept. I knew his face well, having spent twenty years watching it morph from a smooth, round kid to this man with strong features and stubble that just begged for me to run my fingers over. As I watched, I wasn't even surprised by the intensity of my feelings for him. Loving Edward nothing new to me, I had done it for years. Nor did I feel as self-conscious as I expected I would after making love to my friend but I trusted Edward. I could trust him with my deepest secrets. I would trust him with my life. So, trusting him with my body had been easy. He was awakening parts of me that I'd been forced to hide and he didn't make me feel dirty for wanting him, he empowered me.

Thinking about it made my stomach tense and coil until I was eager to show him how he had helped me with that. I wanted to show him how much I wanted him. I carefully slid up enough to run my tongue along his jaw. He moaned quietly but he didn't wake. I kissed the base of his ear and ran my hand along his chest, down over his abs, stopping just before the waistband of his pants. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was ok. Letting my fingers dance along his waistband, I pulled his earlobe into my mouth and sucked. That did it. I felt his arm tighten around me while his other hand came up to caress my cheek.

"Mmmm," he groaned. "That feels so good, I thought I was dreaming."

"No," I whispered, hitching my leg over his so I was laying on top of him. "Not a dream. I'm here. I'm right here."

I kissed down his chest, running my hands over him as I did and delighting in the sounds he was making. I reached his belly button and moved my hands to his waistband once more.

"Bella, no. You don't have to…"

"Shut up," I said, lifting my head to flash him a playful smirk. "Maybe I want to."

Now that surprised me. The few times I'd done it for James, he'd enjoyed it but then he would turn around and made me feel wrong and dirty for doing it. Though here with Edward, I didn't feel wrong. I was not just happy to do it, I was eager to taste him.

He lifted his hips so I could slide his pajamas and underwear down until his erection sprung free. And then, suddenly, the awkwardness that I'd been expecting finally showed up. I hesitated for a moment then remembered how his mouth had felt on me, his hands. The way he'd expertly given me the most intense orgasm of my life. I really wanted to do be able to do that for him and without thinking, wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft. My thumb ran over the tip, spreading the small bead of moisture that had appeared there and eliciting the most delightful groan from Edward's lips. That groan went straight from his lips to my belly coiling tightly like a spring and pushing my head forward until I was wrapping my lips around him.

"Shit," he hissed.

I looked up and through the curtain of my hair, found his eyes as I swirled my tongue around the head of his penis. He brought his hand down on the bed in a hard slap, and fisted the sheets. "Fuck, baby," he moaned.

My hand was still wrapped around him and I moved it in time with my mouth, up and down, occasionally glancing up to enjoy the reactions that I was causing in him. It didn't take long before his body stiffened and I knew he was nearly there but he cupped my face, stilling my movement.

I released him and lifted my head, looking up at him in confusion. "Everything ok?" I asked.

"It's fucking amazing. I just need to be inside of you, like right now!"

He gripped my shoulders and in one swift movement, pulled me up and spun me until I flopped back on the mattress, giggling in delight. He was on top of me in a flash. Lips nibbling along my collarbone, hands sliding up my tank top to palm my breasts, making me arch up into his touch. Then those lips were on my neck and I felt my pants being slid down my legs which parted happily for him. He lifted his head and his eyes lock on mine as he entered me in one swift motion. I gasped at the welcome intrusion and gripped at his shoulders, clinging to him as he thrust into me. It didn't take long, as he'd already been so close but when he thrust into me for the last time, I still saw stars.

He fell limply on top of me, both of us panting and straining to catch our breath. "I want to do that forever," I breathed against his ear.

"Mmmm, me too," he agreed with a chuckle, rolling off of me and flopping down onto the other pillow.

"Seriously though," I exclaimed, pulling up my pants, pushing my tank top down, and rolling onto my side, propping myself up on my elbow. "Why haven't we been doing that for years now?"

"Because I loved you too much to tell you that I loved you," he said, staring up at the ceiling.

"Edward," I warned. "Don't go down that road again."

"Why not?" He turned on his side to face me, lifting his hand to finger a strand of my hair. "Bella, I screwed it up. I should have told you in college. You wouldn't have ever been with that asshat. Think about what our life might be now if I'd just been able to man up and tell you I was in love with you."

"We don't know what might have happened. I told you. I don't want to go down that road. I was young and stupid then. For all we know, it could have blown us apart. We have no way of knowing how it might have gone. All that matters now, is where we go from here because you're stuck with me now."

"You mean that?"

"One hundred percent," I said, resting my hand against his cheek. "Edward, no one has ever cared about me the way you do, not even the man I planned to marry and no one has ever made love to me the way you have. Your touch? It's….well, I'd be a fool to give that up," I said with a playful giggle. "But in all seriousness, you make me better. I feel stronger with you. I don't know what our future holds but I know it's going to be amazing because I'll be with you. You are my favorite person in the world and now I get to spend my life with my best friend. Makes me the luckiest person in the world."

He was quiet for a moment, and then there was a flash of something in his eyes. A cross between madness and inspiration. Then he was searching through the sheets and pulling his boxer briefs on. I sat up with a start, pulling the sheet up and clutching it to my chest.

"Are you ok?" I cried, as he leapt out of bed but he didn't say anything. He was rummaging through his dresser drawers as I sat stunned and confused. In a moment, he was back at the side of the bed but he didn't join me, he just stood there, staring at me before dropping to one knee.

"What are you…?" I asked, but he pulled a small black box out from behind his back, effectively cutting me off. He opened the box to reveal a beautiful vintage diamond ring.

"Are you insane?" I gasped, as I began to understand what was happening.

"Probably," he said with a small laugh, "but I love you. My grandma Cullen gave me this ring a couple of years ago, just before she died. She told me to listen to my heart, that it would tell me who to give it to and when the time was right. I came home and shoved it in my dresser that same day. I didn't think I'd ever look at it again because I already knew that you were the only one I could ever give this to and you were with James. I never thought I'd get this chance. But looking at you this morning, here, so beautiful in my bed? I'm doing what my Nana said and I'm listening to my heart. So, Isabella Marie Swan, I have been in love with you for years, I have loved you most of my life. You are my best friend, my confidante, and now, my lover. I will take care of you, love you, and worship you for the rest of my life. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

I could do nothing but gape at him for a moment. My head was screaming that this was too fast. We'd only just started this new aspect of our relationship but my heart disputed that, claiming that it didn't matter, that I knew him through and through.

My heart spoke first.

"Yes! This is totally crazy but, yes yes, oh God, yes. Edward, I will absolutely marry you."

He was off the floor in a flash, gathering me in his arms, and I felt more at peace than I'd ever felt in my life. My hand shook as I held it up, watching as Edward slipped his grandmother's ring onto my finger. To my surprise, it fit perfectly.

"She loved you," he whispered into my ear. "She'd be so happy to see you wearing it."

"Are we really doing this?" I asked, sitting back, my brain finally getting a word in edgewise. "I mean, is it too soon?"

"Baby, I've known you twenty years. I know everything about you, the good and the bad, just like you know everything about me. I asked because it felt right. I felt like I had to. I couldn't wait any longer and I know it's not the top of the Space Needle but I meant every word I said. We don't have to do anything right away if you don't want to. We don't even have to tell anyone."

I was thrown by his reference to the Space Needle. James had proposed to me at the restaurant there, though I never understood why. It held no significance to either of us. In fact, it was the first and only time I'd ever been there in all my years in Seattle. I couldn't help but compare the two, James' picture perfect, albeit cliché proposal and Edward's heartfelt, spur of the moment one. I remembered how I felt when James asked. I thought it was time. We'd been together a few years, he had a good job, a house, stability. Basically, he checked all my boxes and so I thought I was doing the right thing. Saying yes to James had been practical and not much else. As I stacked up the way I felt that day against how I felt the moment I saw Edward kneeling there, the difference was obvious. I said yes the first time because I thought I should. This time I was saying yes because I couldn't fathom saying anything else. Once I figured that out, nothing and no one else mattered.

"I don't wanna wait. We're already surprising everyone with us being together. I guess we go big or go home, right?"

Again I found myself in his arms as he peppered kisses against my hair. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he murmured.

"What do we do now?"

He sat back and gave me his crooked smile that I knew as well as my own, better actually. "Well, I'm going to go brush my teeth because I'm dying to kiss you but I won't subject you to my morning breath, and then, maybe a shower?" he said with a shrug and a waggle of his eyebrows.

I smacked his chest playfully with my free hand, the other still occupied with holding up the sheet. "You know that's not what I meant, but it does sound like a good start."

"Does that mean you'll join me again?"

"Hmm, I dunno," I teased.

His lower lip came out in a pout. He knew I never could resist that pout.

"Well, if you plan to kiss me, I don't want to have funky breath either."

"Wait here," he said and ran out of the room, returning with my toothbrush in hand and a wide smile on his face. "I would kiss you a million times with the world's worst morning breath, but here you go my love."

"Liar," I said with a smile.

He sauntered over to me, still clad only in his boxer briefs and I definitely found myself enjoying the view. How in the hell did I have this perfect man at my fingertips for so long and not do anything about it?

He handed me my toothbrush, placed a kiss on the top of my head. Then before I knew it, I was thrown over his shoulder, sheet and all and we were heading towards the bathroom. He set me down in front of the sink and I quickly wrapped the sheet around my self, tucking it in so I could have my hands free. I found an odd sense of peace standing side by side with Edward doing something as simple, yet inherently domestic as brushing our teeth together. He smiled at me in the mirror and winked before turning around and starting the shower.

I finished brushing, rinsed and set my toothbrush on the counter before taking a deep breath still trying to come to terms with the fact that I was engaged again. As I exhaled, Edward came up behind me and grabbed my toothbrush, setting it in the holder on his counter, in the slot next to his. Just the feeling of his body close to mine brought me peace. I closed my eyes and leaned against him.

"That's where it belongs now," he breathed against my neck, causing a shiver of pleasure to shoot through me, eliminating my nervousness. "We'll get the rest of your stuff moved in here soon too."

"And where do I belong?"

I was spun around and wrapped tightly in his arms. "You belong right here."

With that, he lifted my face to his and kissed me soft at first, then hungry and wanting. His hands tugged at the sheet which came free and fell to the floor. I slid my hands down his body and pushed his underwear over his hips. He stepped out of them, walking me backwards into the shower. I gasped against Edward's mouth as the cool tile of the shower wall hit my back but that faded quickly with the heat from the water and the heat of Edward's body pressed against mine.

Unlike our previous lovemaking that had been mostly sweet and tender, under the water the mood turned hungry and primal. Edward grasped my ass and pulled me off my feet as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Pinning me against the wall with his upper body, he positioned himself at my entrance and entered me in one swift motion. I clung tightly to him, burying my face in his neck, nipping and suck at the skin there as he pounded into me rough and needy.

A familiar coiling began in my belly but with an intensity I'd never quite felt before and it was coming on hard and fast. "Holy fuck, Edward. I'm gonna, oh God yes!" I cried as the pressure built but he didn't relent.

"Come for me, baby," he growled against my ear before roughly capturing my mouth and kissing me hard. The rawness of his lust, the feel of my back scraping against the cool tiles and the hot water spraying down on us triggered my release, hard. I was forced to pull away so I could release the string of expletives that erupted out of me as my body shuddered violently. Waves of pleasure rippled through me like aftershocks, making me shiver and shake. I rode them out in ecstasy until Edward reached his release and spilled into me with a loud guttural roar.

"Holy shit," I gasped.

"Yeah," he agreed, struggling to catch his own breath. "Wow."

He lifted me just enough to slip out and lowered me to my feet but my legs were still weak and nearly buckled. Edward caught me deftly in his arms and supported me until I could stand, lovingly pushing wet strands of hair out of my face. We spent the rest of the shower lovingly soaping each other up and kissing softly.

When we ran out of hot water, Edward wrapped me in his bathrobe, lowered his lips to my ear and whispered. "I want to shower with you every day for the rest of my life."

I had no objection to that.

I put Edward in charge of re-making the bed since, technically, it was his fault that the sheets ended up in a wet, tangled mass on the bathroom floor. While he did that, I dressed for the day and got breakfast started. He joined me just as I was plating up our food and we ate together at the small kitchen table. It was perfection.

"I wanted to spend every Sunday like this," I remarked.

"Sounds like heaven."

We spent the day cleaning up the house and moving some of my things into his room. "Make yourself at home," he told me. "If you want to redecorate so it feels more like yours, that's ok with me. I'm probably overdue for new bedding anyways and I don't care what it looks like, I just want you in it."

Edward wasn't like some single men I'd encountered. His room was meticulously clean and while the decor may have leaned more to the masculine, it wasn't overwhelmingly so. It was simple but comfortable. However, he'd sparked an idea that I couldn't help but share. "I don't mind your room the way it is now. I actually kinda like it, but maybe, if you need new bedding anyways, we could do it together. I don't want it to look like _yours_ or _mine_," I said, emphasizing those words as if they were profanity. "I think it would be nice if it felt like _ours."_

He smiled broadly and placed a kiss on the top of my head. "I like that idea. Let's do it. We'll make some time this week to go look around."

Before I knew it, my clothes all resided in Edward's closet and it was time to go to his parents' house for dinner.

"Suddenly afraid of what everyone will say," I confessed in the car, gripping his hand like it was my lifeline.

"They'll be thrilled," he said, though he only sounded half convinced of that himself.

"And if they're not?"

"Who cares? We don't need their permission. We don't even need their blessing. If they're not happy then we'll just leave until they get over it. I'm one hundred percent certain of what I want."

"So am I," I added quickly, not wanting him to give him the impression that I'd changed my mind.

"Then it doesn't really matter what they say, love. They can be happy and share that happiness with us, or they can be assholes about it but it won't change how much I love you. Though, if they go the asshole route, we're out of there. I'm not letting anyone shit on our happiness."

He gave me a smile and squeezed my hand as we pulled into his parent's driveway. We had agreed to wait and tell everyone at once after dinner. That way, if things went south, we could get out of there easily. I followed Edward through the house and out to the deck where dinner was already set up. Our dads were chatting by the grill, Jasper and Emmett were chasing Em's twins around the yard and the women were arranging side dishes on the patio table. The whole thing was picture perfect and I smiled at the thought of a lifetime of this. I let myself imagine Edward chasing our own kids around the yard, a little girl with his copper hair and my brown eyes or a little boy with his gorgeous green eyes. I glanced at Edward and he smiled knowingly at me, almost as though he shared my vision of this incredible future.

Within minutes of our arrival we were sitting around the table as food was passed and conversation flowed. I relaxed, not thinking about the giant bomb we were about to drop. I'd just popped the last bite of salad into my mouth when Edward's dad dropped the bomb for us.

"Well son, are you going to tell us why Bella is wearing my mother's ring on her left hand or do we have to guess?"

* * *

><p>Ha, busted by Carlisle. Awkward.<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

Happy Monday. I know I'm horrible about replying to reviews but just know that I read each one and they all mean so much to me. I love that you're enjoying my little story. Makes me want to write more and more.

Who's ready for a crazy family dinner?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

**EPOV**

"_Well son, are you going to tell us why Bella is wearing my mother's ring on her left hand or do we have to guess?" _

It was clear from the reactions of everyone else, that dad had been the only one to notice the ring. I was such an idiot. Of course dad would recognize his own mother's ring. Bella cried out and because she had a fork in her right hand, it was her left hand that flew up to cover her mouth in surprise, highlighting the very ring dad had mentioned.

I glared at my father and set down my beer bottle with a loud sigh. Mom's hand flew to her mouth much like Bella's. Bella's parents were shooting looks at each other, both silently asking the other if they knew anything about this. Alice was working very hard to keep her face calm, clearly not wanting to give away the fact that she'd been in the know before everyone else but still wore a hint of a satisfied smile.

"Bella?" Renee asked quietly. "What's going on?"

Bella and I glanced at each other across the table. With my eyes, I tried to ask her if she was ok. She gave me a tiny nod and shrugged her shoulders slightly, as if to tell me '_ah_, _what the hell?'_ I gave her a small smile in response and then turned to the waiting eyes of our family.

I was searching for the right words but it was Bella who spoke first. "We're in love," She said matter-of-factly, "and this morning he asked me to marry him and I've agreed."

"In love? Since when?" Emmett boomed.

"I've loved her since the day we met," I said, "and I've been _in love_ with her for years. However, I told her so for the first time on Friday night."

"I first realized that I loved him, uh, in that way, on Friday night but I'm not sure when it started. It kinda feels like it was always there," she said.

The parents were a bit stunned and said nothing. Rose was never one to hold back her feelings though and had plenty to say. "Are you insane? One man screws you over so you just latch onto the closest one? Come on, Bella! I thought you were stronger than that."

"Rosie," Emmett said softly but with a hint of chastisement. "That's not really fair, babe."

"I'll say," I seethed.

"You have to admit, son, it is a bit sudden," Charlie said. He sighed and scratched at his mustache before shrugging his shoulders and turning to Bella. "But I can't say it comes as a shock. Your mom and I have been waiting for this conversation since the two of you were in junior high. Hell, I think we saw it coming long before then even."

"Us too!" Mom cried happily. "When they were in college, every time they came to visit I expected them to have finally figured it out until I just gave up hoping."

"Seriously?" Rose huffed. "You're all just thrilled about it? Is no one concerned about the fact that she was standing at an altar with someone else like, a week ago?" She turned to Bella and her eyes softened. "Bella, I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to do something you might regret."

I stood angrily but Bella put up a hand to stop me from saying anything. "Rosalie, two days ago you told me the best way to get over a man was to get under a new one. Now you're pissed because I did?" she asked.

Everyone turned and gaped at Rose in shock. "Rosie?" Em asked.

"I just meant that she needed to go out and have a little fun, forget about James. That's all! Not run out and get married again?"

"It's not like we just met," I pointed out.

"Look, I have nothing against you, Edward," she said, turning to me. "You know that. I just worry that she's not thinking clearly."

"I know and believe or not, your concerns are exactly the same ones that Edward had and we've discussed them at length but if you want to get down to it, I feel like I'm thinking clearly for the first time in three years."

"Bella, I know you're hurting but you also know my story. You know I rushed into marriage before and you know how that turned out."

She nodded. I knew that Emmett was not her first husband. Rose had married a guy named Royce right after high school. Her childhood had been rocky and she thought that marrying Royce would be her escape. Instead, it had been worse as Royce began pushing her around right after the wedding and beating her soon after that. The only reason she'd even moved to Seattle and met Emmett was because she needed to put as much distance between Royce, and her hometown of New York City, as possible.

Bella sighed in exasperation. "I'm not rushing into anything, Rose. This man knows me better than I know myself. He's my other half. The one I didn't know is the man I almost married last week. _That _would have been the mistake, Rose, and if it hadn't been for that girl he knocked up, I might have ended up like you and Royce."

"No one is saying you should have married James, Bells," Emmett interjected. "Hell, I'm thrilled you didn't and that you two finally pulled your heads out of your…" he paused there, noticing his small children sitting next to him, "uh, bums. Rosie's just worried about your frame of mind and whether or not you should be making any big decisions right now."

"Excuse me? Are you saying I'm crazy?"

"Alright, that's enough!" Charlie boomed and the entire table fell silent.

_Shit!_ I thought. He sounded pissed and Bella basically just told everyone that's we've been fucking. It doesn't matter that she's only a couple years away from thirty. She's his little girl and now he's going to kill me.

"Bells, no one is calling you crazy but are you sure you know what you're getting into?" he asked, his voice softening as he turned to his daughter.

"Dad, you've known Edward since we were kids. You know how close we are and you know he's a good man. Can you honestly tell me that you don't think he's the right man for me? You know he has always taken care of me and he always will."

"I know that, sweetheart. It's not you that I'm worried about, it's him. That boy is madly in love with you. It would destroy him if you changed your mind."

Now that was a surprise. "Sir," I spoke up. "Bella and I have talked a lot this weekend and I trust her not to hurt me."

"Dad, mom, everyone, I guess," Bella piped up, rising from her seat. "I love Edward more than anyone on this planet, more than myself. You know that I would never risk hurting him if there was even a sliver of doubt in my mind. I am going to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't care if it's too soon. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen soon enough. I shouldn't have been wasting my time on someone who only wanted to change me when I had the perfect man who loved me just the way that I was right in front of me all along. I could marry him tomorrow and never look back."

She looked at me with her big, brown eyes and I couldn't stop myself from rising out of my seat and coming around the table to her. "I love you," I whispered before crashing my lips onto hers. It didn't matter that our closest family was watching.

"See Rose," Bella said when I finally released her. "I'm not making a mistake, I'm correcting the one I almost made last week."

There were a couple of 'awwws' from our mothers who quickly jumped out of their chairs to come and embrace the two of us. "I'm so happy for you, honey," my mom cried, wrapping her arms around Bella while Renee pulled me into a massive hug.

"It's about damn time," she told me quietly.

"Sorry it took me so long," I whispered back.

After that, it became total bedlam. My dad clapped me on the shoulder and offered a simple congratulations and an "I knew it would all work out". The glint in his eyes telling me he was not at all sorry for calling us out.

Charlie, always a taciturn man, just shook my hand and said, "Welcome to the family, son."

To my surprise, Rosalie approached me next, looking contrite. "Edward, you know it wasn't personal, right? I'm just looking out for Bella."

"By telling her to hook up with random strangers?"

Rose sighed and nodded. "I thought I was helping her get over that jackass. You should have seen her when we went shopping, her self-esteem was in the gutter. I didn't expect her to actually sleep with anyone, but a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone. She just needed to hear that she was still attractive, you know?"

I grabbed Rose gently by the elbow and steered her away from the group. "I know," I replied, whispering loudly. "James has been fucking with her head for years, trying to turn her into a subservient little housewife. Believe me, Rose, I understand where you're coming from but she's a grown woman and she's stronger than you give her credit for. Trust me when I tell you, she's ok. That jackass damaged her confidence and tried to quench her independence but she's still capable of rational thinking and it's insulting for yet another person to come in and tell her she doesn't know her own mind."

Rose stood quietly taken aback for a moment before nodding in agreement. "I get what you're saying and I apologize. I'm just looking out for my sister."

"I appreciate that, but you're not the only one who cares about her."

"That's the damn truth!" Emmett boomed, coming up to stand next to his wife. He held his hand out to me but as I took it to shake, he pulled me into a hug. "I guess you're my bro for reals now."

"I guess you approve then?" I asked hesitantly.

"Told you as much a few days ago, ya turd blossom. Why didn't you tell me you had the hots for my baby sis?"

I shrugged and motioned to his massive build. "I dunno, maybe because you have at least fifty pounds of solid muscle on me?"

Emmett guffawed and slapped me on the shoulder. "And don't you forget it. James got off easy but if you ever hurt my sis, we won't be friends anymore."

"Em, if I ever hurt Bella I will hand myself over to you to do as you see fit."

"I believe you would," he said with another laugh before turning around and addressing everyone. "Now, can we get back to the food? I heard Esme made cake."

I managed to get Bella away from the moms long enough to give her one more peck before re-taking my seat at the table. Now that our secret was out and everyone was on board, conversation turned to weddings. I glanced across the table and saw Bella growing overwhelmed by the sudden influx of questions about dates and locations. I recalled everything Bella had told me while complaining about her first wedding being nothing that she'd wanted and I knew I had to do something.

I tapped my knife against my wine glass and gathered the attention of the table. "I can't tell you how much Bella and I appreciate the support you've given us, especially due to the, uh, unique circumstances and timing of our engagement. However, I want our wedding to be exactly what _Bella _and I want. She was, um, _persuaded _into a lot of things that she didn't necessarily want the first time around and agreed only to make other people happy. I don't want her to do that this time around. I know I'm the guy and I'm not supposed to have any big input here but when I marry this woman, I want it to be what she wants. If she wants to marry me in the courthouse wearing jeans and her old UW hoodie, then that's what we're doing and if she wants to hop a plane to Vegas, we'll do that. We appreciate input and opinions but we're going to do this our way and no one else's. That includes the dress. No more cupcake dresses."

Bella shot me an appreciative smile and I winked at her in return but out of the corner of my eye, I caught Renee glaring at me. "You don't think she looked pretty?"

"She looked gorgeous, Mrs. Swan. She always does. That's not the issue. The issue is how Bella felt about that dress. I want her to marry me in something she's comfortable in."

"Pshaw," Renee scoffed. "Weddings aren't about comfort."

"Ours will be," I insisted firmly but respectfully. I braced myself for an argument but Renee turned her attention to her daughter.

"Bella, tell him that he's being silly. You loved that dress and I mean, obviously you can't wear that exact dress again, that would be tacky but…"

I gave B a reassuring look as she downed half her glass of wine. "Uh, mom, the other dress wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Well, I imagine we won't be going the massive church wedding route this time so maybe something that grand isn't appropriate. It all depends on the venue of course."

"No, mom, it wasn't even what I wanted before and it's especially wrong now because all I want is a quiet ceremony with a handful of people. I've had the spectacle and it was never what I wanted. Edward and I are simple and easy and that's what our wedding will be."

Renee looked aghast and I shot my mom a look, begging for her help but before mom could say anything, help arrived from an unlikely source.

"Nay, the kids have been engaged for only a few hours. Give the girl a break before you jump into this wedding nonsense again. Give 'em time to just be a couple. 'Sides anyone who saw that dress knows that Bella didn't pick it out. Let the kids enjoy themselves before you start to poke your nose in," Charlie stated firmly before picking up his beer and taking a casual swig like he hadn't just told his wife to butt the hell out of our wedding.

Renee stared at her husband in shock but within seconds, the rest of us lost our ability to keep a straight face. Emmett broke first. "Sorry ma, but he's right. You and Allie need to quit playing Barbie Bella and let her plan her own wedding."

"What did I do?" Alice cried.

"Jazz, will you just propose already so the girl can plan her own dang wedding?" Emmett said with a laugh, earning him a dirty look from Jasper and an even dirtier look from Alice. From there the table erupted into madness as everyone began pointing fingers and accusations at each other.

I looked over and saw Bella sipping her wine and looking like she wanted to disappear into her chair. "Ok enough," I yelled. "Charlie is right. Bella and I have been engaged for less than twelve hours. You all are our family and we told you about our relationship because we are happy and we wanted to share that with the people we love. No more fighting, about this wedding or that other one. We haven't even discussed dates or locations but I'd like to do that with my fiancé alone." I looked over at Bella who nodded in agreement. "When _and if_ we're ready for help with the planning, we will let you know. Otherwise, you can just wait for an invitation."

A silence fell over the table. Renee and Alice looked particularly taken aback by my outburst but I caught my mom's eye and she gave me a terse smile and barely there nod, letting me know that she understood and approved of what I had said. Dad and Charlie both looked like they were ready for the conversation to turn to anything but weddings as they picked at the food on their plates.

It was a quiet few minutes until Jasper broke through the tension by bringing up the Mariners last game. The men began talking baseball as my mom rose and began gathering dishes from the table. Bella quickly joined in, offering to help mom with dessert. I attempted to join them but was quickly shot down because, as the birthday boy, as I was guest of honor.

Alice was sitting to my right and nudged me when no one else was working. "So, that escalated quickly," she remarked with a smirk.

"What, dinner or my relationship with Bella?"

"Both."

I shrugged and threw up my hands. "What do you want me to do, Al? Gran told me I'd know when to ask and I did, this morning. It felt right. Nothing else has ever felt more right."

"Relax bro," she said nudging me. "I'm thrilled for you guys."

"Thanks, Allie, but I meant what I said, no Barbie Bella or whatever Em called it. You know he wasn't wrong about that."

"I just wanted to make everything perfect for her," Alice insisted.

"Maybe you should find out what Bella's definition of perfect is first," I pointed out.

My sister shot me a dirty look but still agreed to rein in her control freak tendencies this time around. Before I could say anything further, the deck lights were turned off and I heard my mother and Bella singing the first few lines of 'Happy Birthday'. I turned around in my chair and saw my gorgeous fiancé carrying a cake towards me. She looked so beautiful illuminated by candle-light that I didn't even hear the rest of the family join in on the singing.

"Make a wish," she whispered as the singing died down.

My wish had already come true, so I simply wished to live a quiet and happy life with Bella by my side. If I had that then I'd consider my life a success and anything else would just be a bonus. I blew out the candles in one puff and then stood and kissed my girl.

"Alright, enough of that," Emmett boomed. "Let's cut that cake!"

The twins immediately jumped on that bandwagon and began begging for a slice of cake. Since it was my birthday, the first slice was offered to me but I insisted the kids get their cake first. Far be it from me to delay a child their sugar fix, especially when I wasn't the one who had to get them to sleep. I watched as Lily and EJ dug into their cake, focusing on the frosting more than the cake, and was struck by a sudden desire for children of my own. Bella and I had never seriously talked about kids, even in the abstract. Now, I was insanely curious about whether she wanted children. I'd kind of written the idea off because Bella was the only person I could possibly think of starting a family with and that had always been out of the question. Suddenly though, she was mine and that idea wasn't preposterous any longer. I snuck a glance at Bella and allowed myself to imagine her with a round swollen belly. I couldn't think of anything ever being more beautiful than that. She looked up from her cake and caught my eye, smiling at me lovingly. _How did I get so lucky? _I smiled and offered her a wink, promising myself that I'd bring up the idea of children to her later. It wasn't a deal-breaker. If she didn't want kids it would be ok with me. She would always be enough for me but deep down, I prayed that she was open to the idea.

After cake, my parents presented me with a wrapped present. Years ago, I insisted that no one buy me presents for my birthday. As a single man with a decent income, I was able to buy myself the things I desired. Most of the family respected that but my parents had flat out refused. I shook my head but tore into the wrapping anyways. I knew there was no fighting them on this. I was delighted to see that they'd gotten me some music recording software that I'd been saving up for and thanked them profusely. Dad just smiled and raised his glass to me with a little nod while mom not so subtly remarked that perhaps I could compose some more original work to submit to agents and the like.

"I'm happy doing video games, ma," I sighed. "It's interesting and I'm doing well in that field."

"I know sweetie," she replied, "but movies was always your dream and you're so good. You should have a bigger audience for your work."

She was blinded by motherly love of course, but Bella quickly piped up in agreement. "You should hear his newest stuff," she gushed, "it's amazing."

"Oh, I'd love to hear it someday."

I felt my cheeks redden as the entire table looked at me expectantly. "Uh, it's not finished yet and it's a bit personal but maybe someday."

Bella looked apologetic but I gave her a smile to let her know I didn't mind. The woman would be the death of me as I admitted that I would probably forgive her of anything almost immediately. My explanation seemed to be good enough for mom too. She dropped the subject and waved off the plethora of gratitude I heaped on her and dad for their gift.

With dinner winding down, we all pitched in to help with the clean-up. Rose and Emmett excused themselves first, having two young kids coming down from their sugar rush to get home and into bed. Before they left Rosalie pulled Bella aside and whispered something in her ear. Whatever it was made my girl smile and nod in understanding before hugging her sister-in-law. I was happy to see that fence had clearly been mended. Jasper and Alice decided to head out around the same time.

Due to my close friendship with Bella, our families had always been close. However, as I watched our two families hugging each other and saying good-bye, I realized that by marrying Bella we would all really be family now. Our wedding would cement this group together and any kids we had would have the most amazing, loving support system in the world.

_There was the word again…kids. _ I briefly wondered if men had a biological clock. Why else would I suddenly have babies on the brain? I resolved once more to talk to Bella about the topic soon, but at the moment, we were left with just our parents.

"Why don't we all just have a seat for a minute?" Dad asked calmly, motioning to the living room.

Bella and I looked at each other and sighed before taking a seat together on my parent's loveseat. I pulled her hand into mine and offered a small squeeze. "Alright," I groaned. "Let's hear it."

"Why so pessimistic, son?" Charlie asked gruffly. "If I was pissed, you'd damn well know about it by now."

Well, that should have been a relief but still made me feel uneasy, like I was about to get the old bait-and-switch.

"Oh my darlings," my mom cooed, "I'll admitted I lost my faith for a bit there, but I never doubted that the two of you were meant to be."

"It was clear as day even when you were both still tiny," Renee added. "The two of you are like peanut butter and chocolate or milk and cookies. You're good on your own and you're ok with other things but it's not great because you're meant to go together."

"Wow, mom, that was surprisingly profound," Bella said.

"So, why did you never try and push us together?" I asked.

Mom and Renee both chuckled at that. "Oh, we did. Don't you remember? Any time I brought it up I'd get the same response. 'We're just friends, ma!'" Mom replied, perfectly imitating the tone of a sullen teenager.

"Same here," Renee added. "'It's not like that with us,'" she mocked.

"It wasn't," Bella and I protested in unison.

"And suddenly it is?" Charlie asked gruffly.

Bella squeezed my hands and turned to her father. "Yes, dad. We've made some mistakes and maybe we should have figured this out a long time ago but we didn't. We figured it out now but now that we have, I know in my heart that it's forever."

"Ok then," he replied and that was it.

I turned to my own father who simply nodded and told us that it was about time.

"Not going to apologize for outing us, then?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied with a grin. "It took you this long to tell the girl you loved her. I figured if I didn't ask, you wouldn't get the nerve to tell us until your first kid was in college."

"How do you know how long it took me to tell her?"

"I'm a doctor, son. That makes me smart," he said with a wink. "However, I'm also your father. You think I couldn't see it written plain as day on your face? I'd have said something if I didn't think you'd blow me off and deny it. Who do you think sent Jasper and Alice to your place on the day of the wedding. I was worried about you and whether you were going to be ok."

"Ok then," I began hesitantly, "if you're all so unsurprised and happy that we're together, then why the big sit down?"

Both dad and Charlie glanced at their wives who were sitting together, both looking full to the brim with motherly guilt just ready to be unleashed.

"We chatted a bit while we were washing dishes," my mom began, "and we've decided that we can step back and let you guys do your wedding in your own way. However…"

"If you two run off to a courthouse or, God forbid, Vegas, and you don't allow us to attend…" Renee picked up right where mom left off.

"We will hunt you down. And don't think for one second that just because you'll all grown up and getting married, that either of you are too old to be thrown over our knees. We've been waiting for this for too long and we will NOT be denied."

I glanced at Charlie and my dad who simply threw up their hands. Clearly neither of them was willing to go against their wife. Bella and I were on our own here. I looked at Bella and tried to convey with my eyes that I had her back in whatever she wanted. She'd been humiliated in front of a church load of people and I couldn't blame her if she wanted to skip the whole spectacle this time. If she wanted Vegas or the courthouse, that's what my girl was getting. She surprised me though and simply smiled serenely and nodded.

"Of course," she said softly. "As long as you can accept that it won't be anything big or fancy and that I will be choosing my own dress this time around! But, I promise that you will be there, no matter what we do." She turned to Charlie and her eyes softened. "Dad, I know you've already done it once, but I still want you to give me away."

"Oh baby Bells, I never should have allowed it the first time. I knew that jackass didn't deserve you. This time, however, I'd be happy to give you away to the only other man in the world who I trust to take care of you as well as I would."

Bella jumped out of her seat and into her dad's arms. "Thank you, daddy."

I rose to my feet and waited for Bella to release her father before offering him my hand. "Thank you, sir. I promise again that she'll always be taken care of."

He shook my hand, hard, but didn't release it. Instead he pulled me closer and squeezed harder. "Don't think I missed what she said to Rosalie earlier. You've been putting the cart before the horse, boy."

_Oh shit. _

All I could managed was a very weak, "Uhhh."

"Now, I'm not naïve, son. I know my girl is all grown up. Hell, she was living with that piece of shit for years, but I expect you to do right by her. I may not be naïve but I am still old-fashioned. You knock up my baby before she has your last name and we'll be having another chat, ya hear?"

"Yes, sir," I croaked as I was beginning to lose feeling in my fingertips.

"Good man," he said gruffly as he finally released my hands and allowed me to take a step back. I unconsciously began flexing my fingers, trying to get the blood moving again. Charlie noticed and chuckled to himself. My traitor dad saw this all go down and joined in the laughter.

"Damn, Charlie, you're going to have to teach me some things so I can have a little fun with Jasper when that time comes."

I let them enjoy themselves as my expense and turned, looking for my girl. I found her surrounded by our moms and all three appeared to be crying. I managed to slip my hand into Bella's and squeezed softly. "You ok?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Happy tears."

In a flash a found myself pulled into their massive group hug as mom and Renee kept whispering how happy they were for us. After a few minutes we were able to extricate ourselves from their grasp and after another round of kisses and hugs, were finally on our way home.

As I drove us, I glanced at Bella who looked peaceful and happier than I'd ever seen her. I slipped my hand across the console and into hers. She looked up at me and smiled. "That went well," she sighed contentedly.

"And now you're mine and everyone who matters knows it,"

"And you're mine?" she asked quietly, her self-esteem and trust issues peeking through.

"I always have been," I replied, bringing her hand to my lips so I could kiss it. "When we get home, I'll show you just how completely you own me."

"Then I think you need to drive faster," she said with a wicked smile, my little vixen coming through.

We made it home in record time.

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><p>Not entirely without hiccups but come on, everyone has been pushing them together from the get go. Of course, they'd be pretty accepting.<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry I'm late in getting this out. It was a hectic day. I appreciate you guys so much. So, I'll just shut up and let you at it.

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

**BPOV**

I woke Monday morning feeling lighter and happier than I could ever remember being. Telling our families about our relationship had lifted a load off of my shoulders that I hadn't even realized existed. Edward and Alice had told me that everything would be ok but I never expected the outpouring of support that was given to us. Despite her initial misgivings, even Rosalie eventually came around to the idea. I couldn't fault her for worrying either. We were family, it's what we do. If she or Alice had been in my position, I'd probably have similar fears for them.

However, just before leaving, she apologized and promised that she was just looking out for me. Then, true to Rose's nature, she quietly asked me if the sex was any good. I couldn't really answer with my parents and brother hovering nearby but I blushed furiously, nodded and smiled. She pulled me into a huge hug and told me she was happy that I was finally being taken care of in that way and promised to call me later for details.

"You awake, baby?" Edward asked hoarsely, pulling me out of my memory.

I looked over at him and smiled. He was adorable in the morning. His hair was all over the place, his face had just enough scruff and he was sweet and sleepy.

"C'mere," he said, holding out his arms. I snuggled in happily and laid my head against his bare chest.

"Can we wake up like this every morning?" I asked.

"Absolutely," he replied, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "At least until the new school year starts."

"Don't remind me," I groaned. 'Do you think I can get a job working from home like you?"

"Not sure how that would work, you being a teacher and all. Oh, and I actually do have to go in today for a bit."

I scowled and slapped at his chest. "Seriously, ugh, you're a buzzkill," I moped.

I needed to use the bathroom but since he was teasing, I was going to give it right back. I threw my leg over his so I was straddling him and ground my hips against his morning wood briefly before hopping off the bed and dashing to the bathroom.

"Oh, you're gonna get it," he called after me. "Though it was worth it for the view!"

I was in the bathroom with the door closed behind me before I realized that I was bare ass naked. When we arrived home last night, Edward had made good on his promise to show me how much I owned him. The minute we stepped through the door, I found myself spun around and pressed against it. He'd kissed me roughly and then carried me to what was now our bedroom and proceeded to worship every inch of me with his hands, lips, and more until we both passed out from exhaustion. I blushed at the memory and quickly made use of the facilities and brushed my teeth so I could get back to him.

Of course, now I had the problem of leaving the bathroom. I wasn't quite the 'walk around naked' kind of girl. I knew I was being ridiculous because the man had not just seen, but tasted every part of me. It was different in the light of day though, and I was thankful that he kept a robe on a hook on the door. I wrapped myself in it and exited the bathroom.

"Aww man, remind me to take that out of there," Edward said with a pout. He was sitting up in the bed, the sheets covering everything from the waist down.

"Well, remind me to take the sheets with me next time I go," I retorted.

"You don't need to steal the sheets, baby doll," he said smoothly before throwing off the aforementioned sheets and striding confidently into the bathroom. I'd be lying if I said I didn't admire his ass as he went.

A few minutes later, I heard the shower turn on and Edward popped his head back into the bedroom. "Coming?"

For the third morning in a row we used up all the hot water in the house.

After our lovely shower, I sat on the edge of the tub in a towel, rubbing lotion on my arms and legs as Edward shaved. I'd never realized how sexy a shirtless man shaving his face could be. I probably rubbed my left arm for a minute straight before Edward caught my eye in the mirror and smirked. _Busted. _

"Can I help you," he asked teasingly.

"Nope, just admiring the view."

He wiped the last remnants of shaving cream off of his face before turning to me. "Tell me about it. I nearly slit my own throat when you started rubbing that shit on your thighs. Good Lord, woman! Warn a guy before you do that!"

"I didn't think you were paying attention," I said as my face flamed.

Edward crossed the bathroom in a single step and lifted my face to his with a finger under my chin. "If you're in the room, I can't _not _pay attention."

"That's sweet, but I'm going to have to mark you down for the double negative."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Miss Swan-soon-to-be-Cullen. Can I stay after class and make it up?"

"I suppose," I said in a fake exasperated sigh.

He lowered his face and captured my lips in a searing kiss but pulled away far too soon. I actually whimpered at the loss of him. In a weekend the man had managed to make me insatiable.

"Sorry, love, I have to go or I'll be late. My little vixen kept me in the shower far too long."

I would have said that I was sorry but I wasn't, not even a little bit.

"What are you going to do today?"

I shrugged half-heartedly. "I dunno. Grocery shop, catch up on my reading, look over some lesson plans? Maybe see if Angela wants to do lunch?"

"Sounds good, baby. I promise I won't be too long. I just need to meet with the game designers, figure out what sound we're going for with this game."

He looked so guilty for needing to leave and that made me feel guilty in turn. "Hey," I replied softly. "It's ok. You have to work. Besides, once school starts it'll be me leaving you here every morning. At least until we win the lottery."

"Then can we stay home and screw all day?" His eyes twinkled mischievously. _God, he was adorable. _

"Duh!"

"Then I'm totally picking up a few tickets on my way home!"

I kissed him one more time because he was just so damn cute, and then let him slip away to get dressed. I sent him off with a kiss and a mug of coffee and reveled in the domestic bliss of it all. The more rational part of me knew we were deep into the 'honeymoon phase' and that eventually we'd butt heads over something stupid because we always did. You don't remain friends for twenty years without an argument or two…hundred. It didn't worry me as we never remained angry for long. However, for now, I was committed to enjoying the bliss.

I took my time getting ready for the day before calling Ange and seeing if she was free for lunch. Angela was a fellow teacher, though she taught second grade while I taught high school English. She answered the phone on the first ring, immediately begging for a break from the new curriculum she was working on.

"_My eyes are already beginning to glaze over and it's not even noon yet!"_ she cried.

"Ugh, don't talk about it," I begged. "I haven't even looked at anything yet."

"_You've had good reason, Bella. No one would blame you for being a bit distracted."_

"That's not going to help when I'm pulling all-nighters to get shit ready for the school year. But you are right, I've been completely distracted, which is why I want to have lunch."

The line was quiet for a moment, so much that I pulled the phone away from my ear to check that we were still connected. "Ange?"

"_You sound happy," _she stated accusingly.

"Is that a crime?"

"_Of course not, but something is going on so you better be prepared to spill your guts." _

I promised full disclosure and we made plans to meet up at our favorite little diner in thirty minutes. The diner was only five minutes away so I spent a little bit of time going through the fridge and cupboards and making up a short grocery list.

I arrived at the diner a few minutes early and still found Ange waiting eagerly for me. "Let's hear it," she insisted before I'd even slid into our booth.

"Hear what?" I asked, playing coy.

She surveyed me for a moment before she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Oh my God, you got laid!" she cried, loud enough that a couple old ladies behind her turned to stare at us.

"Jesus, Ange! Shush!"

"Sorry," she said, apologetically. Her voice dropped to a whisper and she leaned forward conspiratorially. "Who was it? Do I know him? I know you didn't get back together with James because you're not an idiot and he never ever made you glow the way you are now."

"I'm glowing?"

"Like you've just been fucked eight ways from Sunday!"

I blushed and dropped my gaze as Angela gasped once more. "Oh my God! You did! You totally just had sex and then called me for lunch! Isabella Swan, I'm not sure I even know who you are anymore but I'm dying to hear about it. Who? How many times? Tell me about the package? It was good, right? You don't blush like that after bad sex, that's for sure."

"Angela!" I cried, interrupting her enthusiastic ramble. "You want details or do you want to just ask me a million questions?"

"Oh, right! Sorry, I'm listening. First things first, do I know him?"

I nodded as the waitress approached. Angela rattled off her usual order while studying me intensely as if she could telepathically divine the answers to all her questions. I took my time ordering, enjoying the torture of my friend. By the time the waitress left our table, Angela looked like she was ready to snap.

"I can't even think straight. I'm going to need more information."

"I've known him longer than I've known you," I supplied.

She considered that for a moment before realization hit and her hand flew to her mouth once more. "NO! You did not!" I smiled broadly and nodded as she slapped the table, making the old ladies jump. "You did! Holy shit. This is huge? When?"

"All weekend," I replied, taking a casual sip of my water as if I hadn't just dropped a bomb.

"All weekend?"

"And again this morning," I added, since technically It was no longer the weekend.

Angela remained silent, her mouth opened wide enough to park a bus inside as she gawked at me. She didn't speak again until after the waitress brought over our drinks.

"I'm going to need something stronger than this," she said bluntly, staring at her lemonade. Suddenly her eyes locked on mine and narrowed. "Are you screwing with me?"

"Nope, but you better brace yourself," I warned, "Because there's more."

"More? More than you spending the weekend boinking a man you told me less than a week ago was 'practically your brother?'"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "He's definitely _not _like my brother."

Angela rolled her eyes as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well that's obvious. Unless you're suddenly into incest, in which case, I've lost my appetite."

"You wanna hear it or not?" I snapped.

She mimed zipping her lips and sat quietly waiting for my next bombshell. Instead of saying anything, I simply lifted my left hand out of my lap and casually placed it on the table. Angela's eyebrows knit together in confusion and I pointedly looked down at my hand. She took one look at my hand, looked up at me and then back down at my hand. For the third time her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped.

"What the fuck is that?"

"It's a ring."

"Looks like an engagement ring."

"Because it is."

Of course, the waitress chose this exact moment to bring our plates over. I thanked her profusely as Angela ignored the poor woman and continued to stare at me in complete and utter shock.

"Ok, you're going to have to start from the beginning."

For the next hour, Angela listened intently as I went over the events of the last few days. There was an occasional gasp from her and at least one shout of "I knew it" before I finished my tale.

"So, you guys really just went from zero to sixty then, huh?"

"I wouldn't say we were at a zero before," I mused. "We were already friends and we know everything about each other. We would cuddle on the couch and watch movies or go to dinner before too. Honestly, it's exactly the same except we have sex now. He's still Edward and I'm still Bella. I know his faults and I can deal with them and he knows mine. So really, why deal with the pretense of getting to know one another. I mean, that's all dating is, isn't it?" I asked, snatching a fry off of her plate. "A trial to see whether the other person is someone you enjoy and want to spend your life with? I already know the answer to that. They say your spouse should be your best friend. Well, mine will be."

"Wow," Angela breathed. "This is the real deal. I mean, you are head over heels. How the hell did this not happen sooner?"

I shrugged, having spent the weekend asking myself the same thing. "I don't know. I think I just never allowed myself to consider it. Once I was open to the idea, it was like a light turning on and everything was just so clear."

"Was it weird? I mean, you've been friends for so long. I just think it would be awkward."

"I thought so to but it wasn't. I mean, we were pretty drunk the first time but it still felt so natural. Being with him, it's like breathing."

At that, Angela smiled warmly. "Your whole face just lit up. In all the time you were with James I don't think I ever saw you light up like this."

"Ugh," I groaned, "please don't remind me of all the time I wasted on him. Seriously, why didn't anyone tell me to dump his ass?"

"Well, I told you in the beginning that he rubbed me the wrong way and you just said that I needed to get to know him better. So, I dropped it after that. I didn't want it to come between us when I didn't have any solid reasons to dislike him."

"That's what everyone says. I just wish someone would have shaken me and made me listen."

"Oh, honey, it's just such a sensitive topic. Don't feel bad though, we all make stupid decisions and sometimes we have to in order to get where we belong."

"I know. I just feel so stupid for falling for his bullshit," I said quietly, pushing the last bit of my salad around my plate.

"Don't. We all fall for someone's bullshit at least once in our lives. Let's just thank God that you didn't actually marry him."

"Right? I knew something was off. Right before I walked down the aisle I was almost sick to my stomach. I thought it was normal nerves but now I know it was my gut telling me not to do it."

"Absolutely. It's normal be a little nervous. I was nervous when I married Ben. Remember? I was freaking out about every little thing. But, when it was time to walk down the aisle, I couldn't wait. My dad actually had to slow me down because I was walking too fast. You'll see. When it's right, it feels right."

"It feels right this time."

"Then I couldn't be happier for you."

We parted ways after that, Angela to go back to work on her curriculum while I headed to the grocery store. An hour later, I was home and unloading groceries from my trunk when Edward's car pulled up.

"Hey, baby. What's all this?" he asked, taking the bags from my hands as he kissed my cheek.

"You have no food here," I teased. "I had to do something."

"There's more food here than I buy in a year!" he cried, as I began pulling more bags from the trunk.

"Because you only buy eggs, beer, orange juice, coffee, and condiments. Normal people keep real food in the house."

He peeked into one of the bags as we carried them into the house and his face lit up. "Ooh, pork chops. I haven't had a good pork chop in forever." He put the bags down on the table and pulled me into his arms. "You're going to spoil me, aren't you?"

"Absolutely."

"You don't have any preferences on where I put anything do you?"

He kissed me on the tip of my nose and smiled softly. "This is your home too now, my love. You don't have to ask. Put stuff wherever you want. I'll help, just tell me where you want stuff."

I waved him away. He'd just gotten back from the office and I was sure he had a few things to do. "I got it. Go work or relax or whatever."

"B, we're a team. I'm not James and I don't want a little woman hidden away in the kitchen. I want a partner."

My heart skipped a beat. "I know, and I love you for that but since you don't cook, it's just easier for me to figure out where to put everything." He looked like he was about to say something and I had a good idea what it was going to be. "Before you start with it. You know that I enjoy cooking so let it go and let me feed you properly."

He chuckled and kissed me once more. "Ok, ok, I know better than to argue with you and you're right, I've got some work stuff to do. So, I'll leave you to it but you know where to find me."

He left and I made quick work of putting the groceries away. It's not too hard to organize when the cupboards are practically bare. I could hear Edward working and didn't want to disturb him so I headed into my former bedroom to grab my laptop. I was almost afraid to check my email after spending so many days unplugged. Sure enough, my inbox was overflowing and I settled onto my old bed and began deleting the endless amounts of spam I had. I made a mental note to go through and hit unsubscribe on all of them one day but today was not that day. There were a handful of work related emails that needed attending to and before I knew it, a good chunk of time had gone by. I heard Edward clear his throat and looked up to find him standing in the doorway.

"Hey, babe, what're you doing in here?"

"Oh, my laptop was in here and my email was out of control so I was just taking care of some stuff."

He crossed the room and joined me on the bed. "Tell me about it. I had a ton of crap in mine today. But what I meant is, why are you hanging out in here? You could have brought your computer into the other room."

He looked concerned, so I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I know. I just didn't want to disturb you. Besides, I feel kinda bad. I made you rearrange your home so I could move in and then it was all for nothing cause I've barely used this room."

"_Our _home," he corrected. "And don't feel bad. I'd much rather you be with me in the other room."

"Me too. I just felt guilty for making everyone move my stuff for no reason. If you want we can put your stuff back in here."

"That's ridiculous. You had a very good reason and honestly, I barely used this room. Maybe it can be a guest room for now."

"For now?" I asked.

"Yeah, or it can be an office for you if you want," he said quickly and looked away, clearly not saying everything that was on his mind.

"No, you have something else in mind for this room. Talk to me."

He took a deep breath and I set my laptop to the side so I could give him my attention. "Can I ask you a question that I feel like I should know the answer to but don't?"

"Of course you can," I said calmly but I was beginning to grow concerned.

"What are your thoughts on kids?"

"Kids?" I repeated. That was not what I was expecting to hear.

He nodded and looked into my eyes. "Do you want kids?"

"I always figured I would," I began. "I mean, James was pretty set on having the perfect little family so I assumed kids were in my future."

"I don't care what he wants," Edward said in a low growl before his voice softened again. "What do _you_ want, B?"

Like I had been at his parent's house, I was hit with the vision of children who shared our features and smiled. "I do. I mean, not right away. I know we're jumping the gun on everything else and I think we can wait a bit. I just want us to have a little time to ourselves but, yeah, eventually I would love to have kids with you."

He pounced on me after that, flashing me his crooked smile as I squealed in surprise. "Does this mean you want them too?" I breathed, laying back as he hovered over me.

"Hell yeah and I'm happy to wait. I just figured it needed to be brought up sooner than later."

He lowered his lips to kiss me tenderly but the feeling of his weight on me sent a wave of desire through my body. I slid my hands to his chest and began working at the buttons of his shirt. He looked at me and I smiled suggestively. "You know, this bed has never seen any action."

"Never?"

"Nope. You know I was a good girl in high school."

"I know but I thought you and Jake fooled around a little bit," he said, his eyes darkening with anger and jealousy as he thought of my first boyfriend.

I shook my head. "Not much, and never in my room. He was too afraid of my dad," I added with a little chuckle.

Edward smiled and ground his hips against mine. "Mmmm, so does that mean we get to christen it?"

"That's what I was getting at, yeah."

He sat back and had his shirt off in record time. Somehow, being on my childhood bed made me feel like I was doing something naughty and I couldn't help but giggle as I pulled my own shirt over my head. It was as if we couldn't get out of our clothes fast enough and the mood remained playfully as he nipped at my bare skin causing me to yelp and giggle more. He wasn't playing around as he kissed up and down my body though and by the time he entered me I was already coming apart at the seams. Our lovemaking was fast and frenzied but he brought me to climax twice before finding his own release with a guttural roar.

We fell back on the bed satisfied and gasping for air. "Well," I breathed, "that's was way better than it would have been in high school."

"Probably," he agreed as his stomach rumbled. He looked at me apologetically and nuzzled his cheek against mine, bringing his lips to my ear.

"So, about those pork chops…"

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><p>I have to admit, I modeled Edward's food habits on my own husband. The man would order pizza every night if I let him. LOL<p>

Thanks again for all the support. I love to hear what you have to say.


	19. Chapter 19

I'm so sorry for the delay. My main reason fro pre-writing my stories is to eliminate leaving anyone hanging and then I went and did it. I ended up needing to get a new comp and getting the files off of the old one proved to be difficult, especially when RL swept in and started kicking my ass as well. I've barely had time to , enough with my excuse. I'll let you get on with it.

As always, I know nothing just a new semester of school, a crazy work load to go along with in and finally a family of crazy pant in-laws.

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

**EPOV**

Life was good. Bella and I had been a couple now for two weeks and I couldn't be happier. She inspired me and as a result, I was making amazing progress on the new RPG game I was working on. Bella and I woke wrapped up in each other every morning, showered, and had a nice little breakfast. Then most days I would retreat to my studio to work. Often Bella would join me, curling up in an armchair in the corner with a book or her laptop as she began to prepare for the coming school year. Occasionally, when she needed a quieter environment, I'd find her in our bed surrounded by papers and books.

I had a new respect for teachers. When Bella had told me she planned to major in education, I'd made a crack about how nice it would be to have a couple months off every year. However, the reality, I'd learned, was much different. Even though she'd declined to teach summer school this summer, she still had a massive list of things to accomplish before school started up again. There were many days where we both busily worked along, communicating only in occasional smiles or winks across the room until hunger necessitated a break.

I'd probably also gained at least five pounds as the woman was feeding me like a king. She'd been a decent cook while we were in college but we were always so busy that we mostly ate takeout or in the school cafeteria. Now she was amazing. The food she made was better than most restaurants and I was definitely going to have to hit the gym a lot harder to compensate.

My favorite part of the day, though, was the evenings when we'd cuddle up with a movie or TV. It wasn't anything new to us but I loved knowing that I could lower my head and kiss her whenever I wanted. I did too. We attempted to watch the same movie three nights in a row and I still didn't know what happened after the first twenty minutes. One little kiss always turned into us making out like teenagers as if hungry to make up for lost time except this was so much better than being awkward, fumbling teens. We were insatiable to the point that I couldn't fathom how we'd remained platonic for so long. I couldn't get enough of her and reveled in helping her come out of the shell James had forced her into. There were still moments where the poison he'd filled her head with rose to the surface but she was working on it and making amazing progress.

A few days after my birthday dinner, I found myself struck with an overwhelming desire to work on the melody that Bella had inspired. I'd been watching her hum softly to herself as she effortlessly whipped up a batch of cookies just for fun. The look on her face was so peaceful and content that it was all I could do to not run to my piano and let my devotion for her pour out on its keys. The only thing stopping me was the desire for Bella to not hear the finished composition until it was perfect. She'd already heard the initial version that had been filled with despair but now that beginning of despair and sadness would morph into something lighter and filled with happiness and hope for the future. I wanted her to hear that version, the musical representation of our coming together.

I called Alice who was all too happy to distract Bella for me. She dropped by and convinced Bella to come to lunch and the mall with her and the two of them were gone most of the day. I'd been so inspired by her that the rest of the song basically wrote itself as it flowed out of my fingertips. I spent the majority of my day simply transcribing the notes onto sheet music. By the time Bella returned, I was back to working on the music for work. I wasn't sure when I'd play her our song but I knew that I would know when the time was right.

I heard her come in the front door and thought she would come to find me as she usually did, but ten minutes went by and I'd still seen no sight of her. I grew curious and stood, popping my stiff back before turning around to go find her. My jaw went slack as I found Bella standing in the doorway wearing a tiny satin and lace slip of a nightie. Her hair fell in loose curls around her and she looked demure yet was still the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

"Wow," I breathed.

"Do you like it," she asked shyly, her fingers playing with the hem of her slip. "I'm usually in something boring like big shirts and shorts. I just thought I'd sex it up a bit for once."

"Oh, baby," I murmured as I crossed the room and took her hand. "You're sexy as hell in whatever you wear. I love you in big shirts because they're usually mine and you wearing my clothes is fuck-hot. I like you in shorts too because your legs are gorgeous and silky and I love being able to run my hands over them," I said, letting my other hand caress her bare thigh with the back of my fingers. "But, this? Goddamn, B! I nearly came at the sight of you."

She giggled a little and dropped her gaze to our joined hands. "So, it was a good surprise?"

"Fuck, yeah."

"Are you done working?"

I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Gorgeous, there is no way in hell I could keep working with you walking around looking like that."

Just to show her I was serious, I picked her up and tossed her over my shoulder, placing a swift tap on her ass as I hurried down the hall. She giggled as I lowered her slowly to her feet in front of our bed, her silky slip rising over her hips. I fisted the soft material in my hands and pulled it swiftly over her head.

"This was beautiful," I breathed, tossing the negligee to the side so she was in nothing but a tiny pair of matching lace panties, "but nothing compares to you and your bare, perfect skin."

She tugged at my shirt as I ran my hands all over her body. Within minutes I was pressing her bare chest against mine, reveling in her warmth. I lowered my head and captured her lips in a hungry kiss and her hands slid down my chest and began working my pants free, sliding them and my boxers over my ass until they fell to my feet. I turned and fell onto the bed, pulling Bella down on top of me. She straddled my hips and ground herself against my rock hard erection, making me groan in need.

"Those need to go," I growled, fingering the edge of her teeny panties.

Without saying a word, Bella rose to her feet, standing on the bed and towering over me. She smiled sexily at me and then slid her deep blue lace panties down her legs. She stepped out of them and then tossed them so they landed directly onto my face with a throaty little laugh. _Who was this girl! _

I inhaled the scent of her desire like a man gasping for air before pulling the underwear off of my face so I could take in the amazing sight before me. My hands grazed up the sides of her legs, tugging her back down to the bed. She grasped my aching dick and lined herself up before sinking onto me in one swift movement, causing a string of curse words to tumble out of my lips.

My girl rode me hard for several minutes until I became concerned that I might blow my load too soon. I flipped her onto her back and slowed the tempo but Bella wasn't having that. She wrapped her legs around me and locked me in place like a vice holding me buried deep inside of her.

"Baby?" I questioned.

"I just really need you right now," she groaned, grasping my hips tightly. "I need you hard."

I could see in her eyes that something was going on with her but this wasn't the time. I would give my girl what she needed right now and later I could figure out the driving force behind it. She unlocked her ankles, allowing me to move again and I fucked her hard and fast as she screamed out in pleasure. I came just after she did, exploding into her with a roar before falling slack against her.

"You ok?" I asked, once I'd caught my breath, rolling off of her and onto my side. "That was fucking fantastic but it felt like there was something spurring you on.

"I saw him at the mall," she stated quietly. "James," she added though it was unnecessary. I knew by the tone of her voice who she was speaking of and my body stiffened in response.

"He cornered me in the food court when Alice went to the bathroom," she went on. "He told me he'd seen me in Victoria's Secret and asked who I was buying the lingerie for. I told him it was none of his fucking business."

I was proud of her for standing up to him but I knew that her story was far from over. "Then what?"

"His entire face turned to stone. He told me he should have known that I'd start whoring around. He said he was glad we didn't get married because a slut like me didn't deserve to be his wife."

I could feel my blood pressure rising as she spoke and fought the temptation to leap out of bed and hunt his little punk ass down. Then I saw a little smirk form on Bella's lips. "What did you say, B?"

She giggled and blushed a bit. "Well, I calmly told him that I wasn't falling for his bullshit anymore. I told him I was happy with someone who loved me for who I am. I said that I was finally able to relax and really enjoy sex and if that made me a whore then so be it." She took a moment to smile as if remembering the encounter. "Then I raised my voice enough so the people around might overhear and told him that I was glad I didn't marry someone who couldn't please me sexually and that I was happier with a man who was in tuned to my needs and who had much more substantial equipment. After that, I excused myself, telling him that I needed to hurry home because I had earthshattering sex and multiple orgasms waiting for me."

"You didn't?"

"Oh, I did. I don't know, E? When I saw him I just snapped. I let him push me around for so long and I just wasn't having it anymore. I guess I finally found my backbone."

I kissed the top of her head and smiled. "I never doubted you would. I'm so proud of you, love. I only wish I'd been there to see it."

"Well, it wasn't quite that easy. He grabbed my arm when I turned to leave but we were in the middle of a crowded food court. There was a man, maybe late forties, early fifties who'd overheard everything and stepped in when James grabbed me. He was a big guy, almost Emmett's size, and he grabbed James' wrist and twisted it. Then he said 'the lady made it quite clear that she has somewhere better to be so I suggest you let her go'."

I was conflicted hearing that. On the one hand, I was grateful that someone had been there to look out for my girl. On the other, I was angry with myself for not being there myself. Bella read my face and shook her head. "Stop it! You can't follow me around every second of the day so don't go all caveman on me. I'm ok." She held out her arms for me to inspect. "See, not a mark. Not even a bruise."

My heart rate slowed as I realized that she was right. I wasn't James. I wasn't possessive and controlling. I was better than that. "I know. I just worry."

"Don't. I finally feel like myself again. When he called me a whore I didn't shrink away. I didn't even feel bad about it because I know it's not true. I was just angry. That he believed that my needs were unimportant or wrong somehow. When I walked away, all I couldn't think about was you. The way you love me the way that I am. The way that you encourage me to embrace my sexuality, not hide it away."

She pushed my shoulder so I was lying flat on my back again and punctuated each sentence with a kiss on my chest. "The way you make my satisfaction a priority." _Kiss. _"The way you make me feel sexy, not dirty." _Lick. _"All I wanted was to come home and show you that I'm not afraid to be sexy anymore." She swirled her tongue around my nipple, making me groan. "When I bought the lingerie, I wasn't sure I'd have the guts to put it on for you. His poison was still lingering in my system. After I saw him, after it was made so clear that there was nothing wrong with me, that James was just fucked in the head. Telling him off was my way of drawing out the last of the poison." Her lips wrapped around my nipple and sucked, hard. "When I came home, I just wanted to show you how you've healed me. Show you how you've made me whole again. You are my best friend and you mean more to me than anything in the world."

"Mmmm," I moaned as Bella kissed her way down my stomach. "Baby? I believe you mentioned _multiple _orgasms?"

"I did," she replied breathily, looking up at me through a curtain of silky brown curls.

I managed a devilish smirk before grasping her arms and flipping her on to her back once more.

By the time the sun came up, I'd given her six.

For almost two weeks, we'd managed to seclude ourselves in this little domestic bubble. Our families had stepped back for the most part, letting us find our footing in this new aspect of our relationship. Then it was the Fourth of July and our first holiday together. I had a million memories of Bella and I celebrating the Fourth. Running through sprinklers, writing our names in sparklers, getting drunk with friends in college and coming way too close to blowing our hands off. This was different though. We were making new kinds of memories.

We woke early that morning with a few fireworks of our own before showering and dressing in the requisite red, white and blue. I took the easy route with some blue jeans and a flag t-shirt, while Bella looked both cute as a button and ridiculously hot in her short denim shorts and loose flowing flag tank top. The plan was to take in a small local community parade before heading over to my parents for a barbeque and fireworks. My parent's backyard had a gorgeous view of the harbor and so we always watched the big fireworks display from their yard. Both of our families would be there, as was tradition and I was thankful that we'd already come out as couple so we could just relax and enjoy the holiday because I wanted to watch the show with my girl in my arms.

We headed over to the parade early to snag ourselves a spot and just hung out while we waited. After ten minutes, Bella declared she needed coffee and some kind of pastry and demanded I hold our spots. I offered to go in her place but she declared that the coffee shop was just down the street and that she wouldn't know what she wanted until she saw it. I laughed and asked her to grab me a cup and a donut before settling in to guard our precious parade viewing location.

After five minutes of watching kids romp around in the closed off street, I heard someone call my name. I jumped to my feet and turned to see my ex, Tanya, making her way towards me.

"God, I'd know that hair anywhere!" she cried as she approached, pulling me into a hug.

To say that I was surprised to see her would be an understatement. "Oh, hey Tan." I managed. "What are you doing here?"

"Bells didn't tell you? I live like five minutes away and I didn't really have any plans so I thought, what the hell? Let's check out the parade."

"Oh," I replied. "I didn't know that. Bella never mentioned it."

"Really?" Tanya said in surprise. "Well, she told me you lived near here."

The way she said that made me realize that she'd only come to this parade in hopes of finding me. _Shit. _How do you let down a girl whose heart you already broke once?

"Uh, yeah, I bought a house a block or two over," I said stiffly, taking a step back.

"How is Bella?" she asked, her voice dripping with concern and pity. "So awful what happened to her. I was there, you know? Saw the whole thing. It was horrible. Didn't see you though."

"Yeah, she's fine," I muttered. "I, uh, wasn't there."

"Really? I thought you two were thick as thieves."

"We are," I began, but at that moment, the woman in question decided to break through the crowds and wrap her arms around me from behind.

"Hey baby, hope glazed is ok? They were out of chocolate," she said, slipping under my arm until she noticed Tanya standing there. "Oh."

"Wow," Tanya breathed, looking as though the wind had just been knocked out of her. "I guess you are just fine. That was quick."

"Hi, Tan. How are you?" Bella said, shrugging my arm off of her. It didn't matter. The look in Tanya's face told me that she'd already read the situation perfectly.

"How am I?" she gasped. "I've been waiting for a phone call because a month or so ago, you told me that you'd talk to him into giving me another try. But now what? You lost your own man so you thought you'd what? Come in and take mine? The man you treated like a brother for twenty years until you needed him to make yourself feel better?"

"That's not fair," Bella started, but Tanya threw up a hand to stop her.

"Not fair?" Tanya balked. "Not fair? A couple weeks ago you and I had lunch. You were getting married and you told me that he," she threw her hand in my direction, "wasn't seeing anyone. You told me that you would talk to him. That you thought we had been a good match and that he just hadn't been ready to settle down. You promised me that you'd talk to him for me. That you'd convince him that I was right for him and get him to call me. How's that going?"

"Tanya!" I rebuked but she waved me off.

"Oh stop defending her, Edward! She made me a promise."

"And she didn't go back on it," I pressed. "A couple weeks before the wedding she told me that I should call you. She told me that you still loved me. So, don't be angry with her. Be angry with me because I didn't call. I already told you, Tanya, I can't be with you. I don't love you in the way you should be loved because my heart belongs to someone else."

"Her?"

"Yes."

Tanya's face fell and her lips formed a tight line. "How long?"

I exhaled loudly, knowing that the truth would hurt but, at the moment, it was the only thing that felt right. "Since college. End of junior year."

"Shit," Tan breathed. "So, the whole time we were together?"

"Yes," I admitted, feeling like the piece of shit that I was. "I'm so sorry."

"So what was I? A distraction?"

"You were my attempt at moving on. Tanny, I really wanted things between you and I to work. I wanted to move on with you, but my heart wouldn't let me. Once I realized that, I let you go so you could find happiness with someone else. I'm sorry for leading you on but I never intended to hurt you."

"So, it's always been her?" Tanya asked, tears springing to her eyes.

I nodded sadly. "Yes. I'm so sorry Tan. I'm a piece of shit, I know.

"You two? When did this happen? You guys haven't been fucking around all along, have you?"

"Absolutely not! Nothing happened until after the wedding fell apart. It's only been two weeks," Bella insisted. "Tan, when I told you I'd talk to him, I meant it. I didn't know how he felt. Fuck, I didn't even know how I felt. This wasn't malicious. I didn't mean to hurt you because you are my friend. But Edward and I? We've been meant to be since the day he walked into my second grade class."

Tanya was wiping tears furiously from her eyes then. "Fine, whatever," she whispered. "I gotta go. I can't do this right now. It just hurts too much."

Both Bella and I nodded in understanding as Tanya turned and melted into the crowd.

"I feel like shit," Bella breathed as she turned into my embrace.

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. "Don't. I'm the asshole who led her on when I was in love with you. I'm the piece of shit."

"You're not a piece of shit," she whispered, lifting her face to meet mine. "You are the best man that I've ever known."

She turned in my arms so she could watch as the parade started. We watched the entire thing like that. I stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist, head nestled against hers as the cute children riding their bikes, roller skates and wagons, rolled by. She remained quiet for the entire parade and most of the drive to my parent's home. The guilt was rolling off of her in waves.

"B, stop. None of this is your fault. You promised to talk to me and you did but the fact of the matter is, I didn't love her the way I love you. I never would have and it would have been cruel to let her think differently. This is on me, not you. I am the asshole for leading her on."

"I just feel like I've betrayed a friend," she murmured against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her protectively and held her close to me. "Oh, baby, you haven't betrayed anyone. You are the best, kindest person I know. That said, you don't need to sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. I wouldn't have been happy with Tanya and therefore, she wouldn't have been happy with me. She doesn't realize that now but it's true. She'll find her soulmate and then she'll understand."

I held her through the parade and held her hand as we drove to my parent's. She was quiet but held my hand tightly.

"Did you mean what you said?" she asked quietly as we pulled into my parent's driveway. "About leaving her because you loved me?"

"One hundred percent. Once I knew that you were it for me completely, I knew it wasn't fair to keep stringing her along. You had James and I wanted someone of my own. I wanted to get over you and I tried so hard. It just wasn't fair. She's a good woman and she deserves to be loved completely and not as someone's back up plan or a stand-in. Baby, you did nothing wrong. This is all on me. Now, can we relax and enjoy the rest of our evening. I promise you that Tanya will find happiness with someone and she'll realize that what she and I had wasn't real."

"I hope so," Bella whispered. "I feel so bad."

I parked the car, killed the engine and ran around to her side of the car, pulling her out and into my arms. "Oh, my love, you are so kind and I love that about you but please, let's not let this ruin our first holiday together."

She nodded and forced a smile. "Ok, I'll try."

She remained a little quiet as she joined my mother in the kitchen to prepare the food. I made my way outside to grab a beer with my dad. Alice and Jasper arrived ten minutes after us and everyone else followed soon after. The kitchen was abuzz with chopping, stirring and marinating while those of us that were lacking in the culinary department were relegated to setting the table and carrying lounge chairs and blankets out onto the lawn facing the direction of the harbor.

By the time I'd made my way back inside to check on Bella it was clear that her mood had lifted. She was laughing with both of our mother's as she cut up some pineapple. I sidled up next to her and placed a kiss against her neck. She brought a piece of the fruit up to my lips.

"Mmm," I moaned as the tangy juice flesh exploded onto my tongue. "That's good pineapple."

She giggled and wiped away a bit of juice that had begun to drip down my chin. When she brought her finger to her lip and sucked the juice off, I nearly threw her over my shoulder so I could take her back to our house and devour her instead.

However, we were surrounded by family and I quickly found myself on the receiving end of a towel slap from my mother. "Enough of that, you two. We've still got a bit of work to do here and Bella is my best assistant."

"She must have learned it from you, Es," Renee cracked, "because she sure didn't pick up any culinary skills from me."

"Maybe they were switched at birth," my mom piped in. "This one can barely managed to boil water." She waved her towel in my direction as the two of them began cackling.

"Hey, he's pretty good at breakfast," Bella added, coming to my defense.

"Thank you, baby," I said, leaning in to kiss her once more.

Both of our mothers stopped laughing and stared at her. "Oh, now I know it's the real deal," Renee said with a smirk. "Two months ago she'd have been picking on him with us and now she's running to his defense."

They devolved into another fit of giggles and I knew it was time to make myself scarce or risk more taunting. I kissed Bella again and headed back outside. Dad and Charlie took one look at my expression and began laughing as well. "Those women pickin' on ya, boy?" Charlie finally said, handing me a beer.

"Son, you'll learn soon enough that when the women get together, half the wine disappears and any man who walks by becomes a target. It's what they do and we learned to steer clear a long time ago."

"I think it's all a big ploy," Charlie grumbled. "We get in the way. So they found a way to kick us out without kicking us out."

"That's insane," I griped.

"That's marriage," both men said with a hearty laugh. "You'll find that women like certain things done certain ways and if you're not doing it to their standard, they find some sly way to get rid of you so they can do it themselves."

I thought back to the day I tried to help Bella put the groceries away and she'd waved it off, trying to convince me to go work. It wasn't until I insisted that she had to outright tell me not to help.

Charlie and dad saw that thought dawning on my face and laughed again. "Guess she's already flexing her Jedi mind trick muscles." Dad said. "You're in trouble. That's a talent that's usually developed over many years of marriage. Looks like the force is strong in your girl."

"That means you're fucked, boy." Charlie added.

I left them laughing even harder and stomped off to find Jasper and Emmett. Thankfully, they were able to refrain from giving me a hard time until dinner time. The Fourth was a more informal affair and so we all ate buffet style and in small clusters of folding chairs on the deck. The food was delicious and the conversation was light and carefree. There wasn't even any wedding talk so it appeared that our warning had been effective.

After a delicious desert we delighted the EJ and Lily with a few smoke bombs and some smaller fireworks until the sun had completely set. I led Bella to the blanket I'd set out just for us where we could lay on the grass together and take in the firework display. Bella nestled into the crook of my arm and laid her head on my chest. Within a few minutes, the sky lit up in a breathtaking array of colors. I could hear Bella's soft 'oohs' and 'ahhs' and felt more content than ever because I knew that I'd be spending every Fourth of July just like this. Forever and ever.

Wrapped up a few little last ends there. Bella got to tell off James finally and maybe Tanya will get the hint now. FYI, things are wrapping up. My last chapters didn't get backed up in time so I have to re-write. Therefore, I can't promise an exact update date like I used to be able to do but at least it's mostly writing. I just need to pull it out my head and get typed up once more.

Now, I want to thank all of you for the words of support for all of you who have read, reviewed, followed, faved or recc'd. You guys really just rock my socks and I love hearing from you all. Thank you.


	20. Chapter 20

Hey all, we're wrapping things up soon (probably 1 more chapter and an epi) but thank you for supporting me and these crazy kids. You guys rock.

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

**EPOV**

After the Fourth of July, Bella really dove into her preparations for the new school year. Even though we were both at home most days, we spent them working silently side by side. It seemed only the evenings and weekends belonged to us. I suppose it was good practice for when the school year began.

It wasn't all work and no play though. We eventually got around to going on our first official date. I wanted to take her somewhere fancy but she put her foot down, insisting again that we weren't fancy dinner type people. Instead, we had pizza and beer and played a few rounds of bowling. Bella kicked my ass in all but the last game though I was ninety-nine percent positive that she'd thrown that one to soothe my fragile male ego.

For our one month anniversary, I managed to pull off a little surprise. Bella had some kind of teacher development class that day and promised to be home in time for us to go out to dinner. While she was gone I cleaned the house, showered, made my preparations, and arranged for takeout to arrive just as Bella was due home.

When she arrived, she found a note on the door telling her to go straight to our bedroom. Thanks to Alice, I had a beautiful new dress laid out for her with a note asking her to put it on and join me in the backyard. As I heard her car pull in I worried for a moment that she wouldn't play along. However, from my hidden vantage point, I watched her walk in the front door, note in hand, with a smile on her face. She set her purse down and headed into the bedroom without hesitation as I made my way outside to wait.

Fifteen minutes later she stepped outside looking radiant in the deep blue dress that fit her perfectly. Her hair fell down her back in loose waves and her eyes sparkled as she took in the scene. She wouldn't let me take her out to a fancy dinner so I'd brought it to her. Tablecloth, flowers, and even candles despite the fact that it was summer and the sun was still out. I was going for the whole shebang. I even made sure there was soft music playing from a small speaker near the table.

"What did you do?" Bella cried, her face breaking into a gorgeous smile. "Did you cook? It smells really good and I'm starving."

I chuckled a little and shook my head. "No, I ordered out." I stepped forward and took her hand, leading her to the table and holding her chair out for her.

"Look at you being all fancy," she teased as I removed the cover from her plate to reveal her favorite mushroom ravioli from a tiny little Italian place near the UW campus that we often ate during our college years.

Alice had helped me out with that as well since the restaurant didn't deliver. She'd picked up the food and ran it into the backyard for me the moment she saw Bella enter the house. Thanks to my co-conspirator, our food was still hot. Bella looked at the steaming plate of pasta and then back to me, her eyes wide. "How the hell did you manage this?"

"I'm not giving away my secrets," I told her, taking my own seat and pouring both of us a large glass of wine.

We talked and laughed over our meal until the sun began to set. By the time she insisted on helping me carry everything inside, we'd polished off an entire bottle of wine. Thinking that our evening was over, Bella moved to the sink to begin washing dishes.

"No, no love," I chastised, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her back. "You're not doing dishes tonight and our night is not over yet. I'll take care of them in the morning," I promised, rinsing the plates off so they wouldn't stink before leaving them in the sink.

"Who knew you could be so suave," Bella smirked. "Where has this guy been for the last twenty years?"

"He had to grow up a bit, but get used to this, babe. We're just getting started."

I took her hand and led her to my studio. I'd moved things around a little and placed a few lamps strategically to give the room a bit of mood lighting. I walked Bella to the little armchair that I'd moved to be closer to the piano.

"What's this?" she asked, sinking into the chair.

"I finished your song," I said quietly. "The one you inspired. The one I was playing the night we finally admitted our love for each other."

I saw the emotion begin to well up in her eyes as I placed a kiss to the top of her head and moved to my piano. For the next five minutes, I opened up my heart and let it bleed onto the keys for the one person in the whole world who gave it a reason to beat. She truly was my muse. In all the times I had practiced this song, or any other song for that matter, I had never played as well as I did when I was playing for her.

By the time I'd played the last note, I was emotionally exhausted and looked up to see tears streaming down Bella's face. Without thinking, I went to her, kneeling on the floor in front of her chair and tenderly wiped the moisture from her cheeks.

"Don't cry, love. It wasn't my intention to make you sad."

"Oh, I'm not sad. God, Edward! That was just…I can't even describe it." She looked up and cupped my face in her hands. "You are so amazingly talented. Too good to be stuck here making music for toddler games and shitty indie movies that barely have the budget to pay you. Baby, you should be winning Oscars or Grammys or whatever other awards they have out there."

I shook my head. "I don't need that. I've got you and our future ahead of me. I feel like I've already won."

"Edward, you don't have to choose. I'm not going anywhere. You can have me and your dream. It's all you've talked about for as long as I can remember."

"I'll get there Bella," I acquiesced. "If it's meant to be, then I'll get there but if not? It doesn't matter because I have a new dream and it came true one month ago. I don't need to win Oscars or Grammys. I only need you and hopefully a couple little ones someday. So, you see, I've already won."

She scowled, obviously not pleased with my answer but not willing to argue with me. "Ok fine, I'll drop it. However, I think you should take me to bed because I guarantee that you'll win something there."

She kissed me hard, her hands toying with the buttons of my shirt. By all sense of logic, I should have agreed or just taken her right there. Instead, a random thought popped into my head and I pulled away with a gasp. "Wait! I'm not done. I had a plan. I have dessert. Well, kinda. I have strawberries and cream and champagne."

"My my, you are full of surprises tonight," she said playfully. "Why don't you go grab those and meet me in our room?"

_Oh hell yes!_ I liked where this was going.

I was off like a rocket retrieving my goodies and rushing back to our bedroom. _Our bedroom! God, I loved the sound of that. _I arrived in our room to find it bathed in candlelight. Bella had removed her dress and was lying on our bed looking positively sinful in a matching lace bra and panty set. I immediately began salivating as if I were one of Pavlov's dogs and Bella was the bell.

"Wow," I breathed. It was an inadequate response to how fucking gorgeous she was but it was all I could manage as blood flow was being diverted from my brain to other portions of my anatomy.

"You're not the only one who can come up with anniversary surprises," she purred seductively. "Can I have some champagne?"

I poured two glasses of the bubbly liquid, handing one to Bella before setting everything else on the nightstand. I quickly removed most of my own clothing, leaving my boxer briefs on because I intended to make this evening last well into the morning hours.

Bella sipped her champagne slowly as I traced a faint line down her bare arm. _God, she was stunning! _I saw her shudder almost imperceptibly as goose bumps rose along her flesh in response to my touch. I took one of the strawberries from the plate and dipped it in the whipped cream before bringing it to Bella's lips. Her eyes sparkled as she opened her plump pink lips and took a bite of the sweet fruit. A tiny bit of cream lingered in the corner of her mouth and I watched, completely entranced, as her delectable little tongue darted out to capture it.

"Fuck, that's sexy," I groaned.

She smiled flirtatiously and reached across my lap to set down her glass and dip a large, red berry into the cream. I couldn't stop myself from running a hand over her smooth, bare back and down over her pert, lace covered ass. She was so flawless that it physically hurt when I had to pull my hand so she could sit back up. Bella fed me the berry just as I had done to her but before I could lick my lips, she leaned in and kissed me. Her tongue ran along my bottom lip, gathering cream, before plunging into my mouth. She tasted of strawberry and sweetness but the way she scraped her nails down my chest was lustful and needy.

I snaked my arms around her back and effortlessly undid the clasp of her bra slowly sliding the straps over her shoulders and down her arms. We broke from our kiss as I tossed the lacy garment to the floor and deftly flipped Bella onto her back. I grabbed another strawberry and took a small bite as Bella looked up at me, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. With a devilish grin I lowered the strawberry to her chest, rubbing the fruit over her taut, raised nipple. Bella moaned and closed her eyes, giving herself over to the sensation. I lowered my head and licked the sweet juice from her tantalizing little bud, drawing it into my mouth and sucking gently until Bella cried out and arched her back. I continued to swirl my tongue around her right nipple as I circled her left with the strawberry and then switched.

I continued my worship until Bella had nearly come undone and then sat up abruptly, popping the rest of the berry into my mouth and grabbed my glass, sipping my champagne as I watched my gorgeous girl catch her breath. I didn't know that it was even possible but I couldn't contain the masculine pride that surged through me at the realization that, if I had continued any longer, I would have given my girl an orgasm just from my mouth on her tits. I filed that tidbit of knowledge away for future use but tonight I had a different agenda. Tonight was all about the anticipation. I was going to please and tease my girl until she was begging for release. I wanted the tension to build and build so I could give my love the biggest, most earth shattering orgasm of her entire life. I wouldn't be satisfied until her screams of pleasure woke the whole damn city.

Bella rolled onto her side and took the champagne flute from my hand. She downed the last of my drink and set the glass to the side. "My turn," she purred.

"What?"

"Turnabout is fair play, buddy. Now lie back," she demanded.

I complied happily, enjoying the view as she rose to her knees and reached over me again. To my surprise, instead of grabbing another strawberry she dipped her index finger into the bowl of cream. She sat back and smiled mischievously before bringing the finger to her mouth. Even though she wasn't even touching me, my dick throbbed eliciting a tortured hiss from me as I watched her slowly suck the cream from her delicate little finger. It felt as though there was a direct connection from her finger to my erection and I involuntarily bucked my hips as her tongue swirled around the tip of her finger.

"Mmm," she moaned, "that's yummy. I think I need some more."

She leaned over me again, her breasts just inches from my face as she ran her finger through the cream. This time she smeared it along my chest and I understood what she'd meant by it being 'her turn'. Slipping her hair over one shoulder to keep it out of the way, she lowered her head to my chest. I closed my eyes as I felt her tongue against my skin. She followed the trail of cream from one nipple to the other before gathering another dollop on her finger and painting a line down my stomach, ending just above the waistband of my boxer briefs.

"Fuck," I groaned at the sensation of her hot, little mouth licking a trail down my body.

When she reached the end of the trail she looked up at me with a naughty smirk and hooked her fingers into the waistband. The tables had officially turned and I could do nothing but surrender to her. I lifted my hips so she could slide my boxer briefs off, my dick springing free from its confines but still aching with need.

Bella gathered more cream on her finger and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Hmm," she mused innocently, "wonder what I should do with this?"

"Baby, please," I begged, my desire so great that it physically hurt.

Thankfully she seemed to be done teasing me as she scooted back and settled herself between my legs. My breath caught as she rubbed the whipped cream around the head of my cock before sucking her finger clean. Taking my shaft in her soft hand, Bella lowered her head and I watched, completely entranced as her pink tongue darted out to lick the cream from the tip of my penis. She swirled her tongue around the head a few times before taking me as far into her mouth as she could manage.

She'd done it so abruptly that it caught me off guard and I nearly rocketed off the fucking bed. "Holy shit," I cried.

Embarrassingly, it didn't take long before I felt my release drawing near. "Baby, move. I'm gonna…" I warned but she gripped my shaft a little tighter, her hand and mouth increasing the tempo, hastening my climax. She ran her tongue along the underside of my shaft as she sucked me harder and I saw heaven. Bella slowed but didn't stop, swallowing everything I had to give her and licked me clean until I grew limp in her hand.

Once I came down from my high, I realized how my plans had totally fallen apart. What a selfish fuck I am, letting my climax come before hers. Needing to rectify the situation, I grasped Bella around the waist and flipped her onto her back. Before she could say a word, I slid her lacey panties off and parted her legs as I settled between them. The scent of her arousal was heavy in the air and I breathed it in like an addict needing a fix.

I hooked my arms around her thighs, holding her to me as I began my assault. _Fuck, she tasted like candy. _My girl gasped as her hands flew to my head, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. That only spurred me on. I shifted a little so I could insert my fingers into her dripping pussy while my tongue worked her clit. Bella's hips ground against my face while her hold on my hair tightened letting me know that she was getting close. I flicked her clit rapidly a few times with my tongue while increasing the pace at which my fingers pumped into her. My initial plan had been to delay her first orgasm as long as possible, letting it build, but I couldn't stop. I _needed _to make her cum. Her satisfaction was now directly tied to my own satisfaction.

"Sweet Jesus, yes! Oh God, Edward. Oh God, oh God," she cried as her legs began to tremble. I knew she was dangling on the precipice and wrapped my mouth around her clit, sucking the tender flesh as my tongue continued circling it. Her hips bucked wildly and then I felt her walls clench around my fingers and her entire body stiffened.

"Fuuuuucccckk!" she screamed, her back arching off the bed. I slowed to help her ride out her climax which seemed to stretch on and on but I didn't mind. I lapped up her juices as if I were dying of thirst until she fell back on the bed, gasping and trembling. I sat back and took in the image before me. Bella looked gorgeous. Her skin, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, glistened in the dim light. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically as her breathing regulated. Her eyes were closed and her face was calm and serene, making her look like an angel with her hair spread out around her.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered, my words almost sounding like a prayer as I slid up the bed to lie next to her. She smiled in response but it was another minute or two until she regained the strength to roll onto her side to face me.

"Thank you," she breathed. Her hand came up to caress my cheek and she smiled again. "God, Edward, that was the most intense thing I've ever experienced. You're always good at taking care of me but that? That was otherworldly!" She fell back again and closed her eyes, completely sated.

"Oh, I'm not done with you yet," I murmured. "I plan on making you scream like that all night."

"You're going to kill me," she mumbled, trying to sound negative but the smirk that danced across her lips told me that she was game.

I refilled my champagne and topped off her glass before handing it to her. "Here you go, baby. Have a drink and catch your breath before I give in to temptation and devour you once more."

She giggled as we sat back against the headboard and I pulled one of the sheets up over us. I'd happily lie here completely exposed with her but I knew that outside of the heat of the moment, Bella often grew self-conscious. I couldn't understand that as I considered her to be perfection, the ideal female body, but I didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I held out my arm and Bella nestled herself into my side. We sat quietly for a while sipping our champagne and allowing our heartrates to slow.

It was Bella who broke the silence first with another small giggle. "I think strawberries are my new favorite fruit."

"I thought they already were."

"Oh yeah," she chuckled. "Well, now it's for a new reason."

It was obvious that the champagne and wine were going to her head so I plucked her almost empty glass out of her hand. "Alright, enough of that, I think. I don't want you passing out on me yet."

She giggled again and threw her leg over my own and snuggled against my chest only to sit back suddenly. "You're all sticky!"

I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of me as she poked at my chest to demonstrate. "Gee, I wonder why?" I asked facetiously. "Maybe we need a shower?"

"We?" she teased. "You didn't get any whipped cream on me and you were definitely thorough in getting all the strawberry juice off."

At that I reached over, swiped a dollop of cream and quickly ran it along Bella's exposed collarbones. "Uh-oh. Looks like you need a shower now too."

She cried out in protest but laughed as I scooped her into my arms and carried her into the bathroom. Once the water was warm, I poured a little body wash onto the little poofy ball thing she liked and slowly ran it all over her body. She wasn't giggling anymore but moaning, as I ran moved it down one leg and up the next, taking my time. She was tipsy and more off balanced than normal so I pulled her to me, her back against my chest so I could steady her as I ran my hands over her body. I made her cum once more on my fingers before the water grew cool and then dragged her back to bed where we made love for most of the night, napping in each other's arms in between rounds.

Exhausted and completely sated, we finally decided to sleep for good just as the sun was beginning to rise. "Can we do this for every anniversary?" I asked, kissing the top of Bella's head as my eyes grew heavy.

"I hope so," she whispered sleepily and then her head shot up all of a sudden and she looked at me questioningly. "Do you remember what day you started school in Forks?'

"Um, no. I think it was a week or two before Halloween though. So, sometime in October? Why?"

"Do you think your mom would know?"

I shrugged, trying to figure out what she was getting at. "Maybe? Why, B? What is going on?"

"I think we should get married that day," she said with a big smile. "You mentioned anniversaries and I immediately knew that I wanted to marry my best friend on the anniversary of the day we met."

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><p>I've reached the end of what I had pre-written but I promise to get the next chapter up asap. I was hoping to have it completed before I reached this point but then RL got crazy. I'm working hard to get it done quickly though. Drop me a review! I'd love to hear what you think.<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

I'm so sorry. I meant to post this a few days ago and then ended up trapped under a pile of math homework, parent teacher conferences, and tax returns. Ugh, responsibility blows, doesn't it? Anyways, we're at the end except for an epilogue that should post shortly as long as my math teacher, my children and the IRS stay off my back.

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

**BPOV**

Esme wasn't much more help than Edward in narrowing down the exact date that we'd met. Like her son, all she could remember was that it was a couple of weeks before Halloween and it had been a Monday. However, I was a teacher and knew that the information would be in his school records. I called around to a few co-workers until I found someone who had access to old records. It probably went against all kinds of rules and procedures but everyone was enraptured by our 'epic love story' as one lady called it and so they were willing to bend those rules enough to give me the date that Edward began at Forks Elementary. As soon as I hung up the phone, I ran into the studio and plopped myself into Edward's lap, completely interrupting his answering of emails.

"October seventeenth!" I cried, before pressing my lips to his. I watched the wheels turn in his head as he did the math.

"That's less than three months," he said hesitantly. "Or did you want to wait another year?"

"Absolutely not," I replied. I'd already had the extended engagement and all it had done was give me more time to stress and become overwhelmed. "You know I don't want anything fancy so we can totally pull this off."

"Can't wait. So, I guess the next thing we need to figure out is a location, right?"

I nodded and we kissed some more until we became too preoccupied to discuss wedding venues.

Over the next few weeks, I had either Alice, Esme, or my mom calling every day to propose a new location but none of them felt right. It wasn't until mid-August as I was up to my ears in last minute preparations for the upcoming school year that inspiration hit. I called Angela first, to get her opinion. She loved the idea though pointed out that it might not be possible. I called Alice next and asked for her help but otherwise, I kept my crazy idea to myself, not wanting to suggest something to Edward that might not even be possible.

The next day, under the guise of dress shopping, Alice and I took a little drive to our hometown. Miraculously, everyone was more than happy to help me with my dream wedding. In one afternoon, arrangements had been made. I was on cloud nine as Alice drove us back home.

"I really didn't think it would be possible," I gushed. "It feels like fate, Alice."

"It is. Even fate knows you two belong together."

I stared out the window, watching the green of the Pacific Northwest fly by in a blur. "Alice?" I asked. "Do you think we could keep this a secret? From Edward, I mean?"

"A secret? How? He sorta needs to be there if you want to marry him."

"I know but I want it to be a surprise. Do you think he'd go for that?"

Alice pondered that for a moment and then smiled brightly. "For you? I think he'd go for anything."

That night I made us a nice dinner though my stomach was in knots, hoping I wasn't going to start an argument. Edward came home from the gym and hopped in the shower just as I was finishing up. I set the table and opened a couple of beers for us, downing half of mine before he joined me.

We were halfway through dinner when I broached the subject. "So, uh, I found the perfect place for the wedding."

"Really?" he asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise. "That's great. Where?"

I dropped my gaze to my lap where I was fiddling with a napkin nervously. "Well, um, I was kinda hoping it could be a surprise."

"A surprise?"

I nodded and hazarded a glance in his direction. "Yes," I said sheepishly, suddenly feeling foolish for even having the idea.

He was quiet for a moment and sipped his beer. "So, how would I get there? I mean, if I don't know where to go?"

"Oh, um, Emmett or Jazz would drive you over, I guess. Or your parents, maybe."

"So everyone gets to know except for me?" he asked.

I nodded once more, chewing on my lip as I waited for his response. When it finally came I was stunned.

"Alright. I'm game for a surprise."

My head shot up in shock. "Seriously?"

He shrugged nonchalantly and smiled. "Sure, why not? I told you, I don't care where we marry or how we do it. I just want you. So, if you want to surprise me, then go ahead and try but I've got twenty bucks on you cracking before the end of the month."

"Twenty bucks? That's lame," I retorted. My mood had been instantly lifted and I was feeling playful. "We need better stakes than that."

"Oh really? Care to make this interesting?"

"Absolutely. You know I never back down from a good bet."

We had a long history of betting over silly things. He once had to shave half his head and leave it that way for two weeks when he bet me that Angela wouldn't sleep with Ben on their first date because her dad was minister. Silly boy, he'd been asking for trouble with that bet. I'd spent a semester and a half listening to Angela wax poetically about all of things she would do to Ben, given half a chance.

"Alright. First of all, I just decided that if you get to make the location a surprise, then I get to make the honeymoon a surprise."

I gasped but nodded in agreement. It was only fair. "Ok fine. Terms of the bet?"

"If you crack and tell me _or _if I can guess it before our wedding day then I win. If not, you win."

"Ok." I agreed. "Now the stakes. If I win then you do the dishes for a month. Oh, and I want a foot rub every night too."

"Sounds fair," he replied with a smirk. "If I win then we have a naked honeymoon."

"A _what?" _I cried.

"Naked honeymoon. Whenever we're in private, I want you naked."

"Even during the day?"

He wiggled his eyebrows lasciviously. "Especially during the day."

I briefly considered backing out but realized that I was pretty confident in the fact that he'd never guess my surprise location. "Deal. However, the bet ends the day before the wedding. No guessing in the car when you're on your way there and only a block away!"

"OK, you've got yourself a deal."

He helped me clear the table and wash the dishes, periodically grabbing me around the waist and attempting to tickle the information out of me. I was Fort Knox though and there was no way he was going to make me crack. Immediately after dinner I snatched my cell phone and called Alice swearing her to complete and utter secrecy. Eventually, I'd have to fill in a few more people so I could plan this wedding properly but with the stakes this high, it would be on a need to know basis. Edward always made me feel beautiful and he'd seen me naked plenty but the idea of just walking around doing everyday things with no clothing on made my stomach clench. My self-esteem was healing but I wasn't sure I'd ever be that confident.

The next weekend was my last before school started. I spent all of Saturday shopping with Alice, Rose, my mom and Esme. We'd decided against having a wedding party because we wanted it to be a small, intimate affair but that didn't stop Alice and Rose from buying new dresses for the event. After three different stores and a stop for lunch, I was beginning to feel discouraged. None of the dresses I'd looked at felt right.

Just as I was about to give up for the day, something caught my eye. It wasn't a traditional gown but it was beautiful. It was knee length, white lace over a simple, strapless, silk underlining. The sleeves came to the elbow and the waist was cinched with a pretty bejeweled embellishment. There was only one but it happened to be my size. I gave the rest of the women a hopeful glance before taking the dress into the fitting room. It fit perfectly and immediately I knew that it was the one. Simple and uncomplicated but also comfortable, lovely, and perfect, just like my relationship with Edward. I stepped out of the fitting room and both my mom and Esme began to tear up.

"It's the one," I whispered, choking back a few tears of my own. "This is my dress."

I was immediately pulled into a group hug, surrounded by the loving arms of both of my mothers and my sisters. Esme and Alice had always felt like family to me but it was soon to be official. My extended family was now complete.

The first day of school was hard, far harder than I expected it to be. I'd put myself in a happy, little, love bubble with Edward for most of the summer but my first day back at school popped that bubble. Most of my fellow co-workers had either been witness to the wedding disaster or heard about it through the grapevine. They danced on eggshells around me. Not a soul asked me how my summer had been. Instead I just got looks of pity and secondhand embarrassment. Lauren, the dance teacher, actually had the nerve to tell me that I looked 'surprisingly good for being jilted at the altar'. I didn't bother to correct her, she wasn't worth the effort.

The hard part came from my students. They hadn't been privy to the gossip like the teachers were so many of my return students came by to happily ask me about the wedding and married life. I fielded far too many questions about why I was still going by my maiden name. Most teachers would tell a student that it was none of their business but I enjoyed having a friendly rapport with my students. I didn't want to alienate them by telling them to butt out of my life but I wasn't about to discuss the details of my private life with them either. I managed to stay strong and settled on a simple response of "It didn't work out."

Of course, once I was home, the stress of the day crumbled my tough façade and I broke down. I kept it together enough to hug Edward, who was waiting eagerly to hear about my day, and then declared I desperately needed a shower. Alone in the shower, my tears fell as freely as the water from the showerhead. It wasn't that I was still sad about the end of my relationship with James. I was happier with Edward than I'd ever been in my entire life. It was just that the constant barrage of pity, inquiries, and eventually the rampant speculation and gossip had just gotten to me. I wasn't used to being the center of attention. Every time I walked the halls I could hear the whispers about me. Whenever I entered my classroom or any other room, all conversation ceased. It was the first day of school and I was the only thing people were talking about. It sucked.

In the shower, I sank to my knees and let the water flow over me as I sobbed. I was so lost in myself that I didn't hear the door open. It wasn't until I felt strong arms wrap around me that I even realized that Edward had joined me. While his arms comforted me, my heart sank, filled with guilt. I didn't want him to see this, to know that James and _That Day_ still had the power to bring me to my knees. I loved Edward so much, more than I'd ever loved James or any other guy that I'd dated. I was terrified that my tears would make him think any differently.

He pulled me to my feet, turned me around so my face rested against his chest, and then wrapped his arms around me once more. "Shhhh, baby," he whispered, "it's ok. I've got you."

He didn't ask what was wrong or say much of anything beyond. He just held me tightly and let me cry. When the water grew cold, he toweled me off, wrapped me in a bathrobe and carried me to our bed. He pulled me into his lap and let my head rest against his shoulder, unconcerned with my wet hair dripping all over his still bare chest.

"Was it that bad?" he finally asked after several minutes.

I nodded numbly as I searched for my voice. "I'm sorry," I eventually managed to croak.

"Sorry? What for, B?"

"Letting it still get to me."

He pulled back and stared at me in astonishment. "Letting what get to you? The gossip?"

"All of it," I mumbled, toying with the edge of the robe.

He grabbed my face and gently rose it to meet his gaze. "Why are you apologizing to me, love?"

The tears began to flow once more and I struggled to find the right words. "You deserve better than me, than someone who can't get over something that happened months ago."

"What exactly happened today?" he asked softly, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I sorta figured that there might be some talk since you had a few co-workers there at the wedding. It's why I came to check on you when you basically ran away from me, but I want to hear from you. Talk to me, love. Right now I'm just your best friend, not your boyfriend. Tell me what has you so upset and I'll let you know whether or not you need to apologize to your boyfriend," he said that last bit with a wink and an understanding smile putting me at ease.

I took a deep breath and recounted my day, telling him about the stares, whispers, and apologies. He listened quietly, taking in everything I said while rubbing soothing circles on my back. When I finished, I sat back and studied his expression. He looked confused which only made me confused as well.

"Bella, tell me truthfully, are you crying over James, because you miss him? Or are still upset about your relationship with him? Or is this just from the stress of everyone talking about you today?"

"I am completely over him, Edward. You need to believe that. It was just a really hard day today. I've never been talked about like this, especially by the students. I wouldn't go into details about why I didn't get married so, of course, they made up their own versions and some of them were less than flattering. I just," I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "I knew there might be some gossip but I never expected it to become such a frenzy. I felt like I was being stared at all day, like a monkey in the zoo or something."

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, pulling me close to him. "I thought as much. I know how you hate that. Baby, why did you hide in the shower? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I felt guilty crying about it, about him," I admitted, feeling ashamed. "He doesn't fucking deserve it."

"But you're not," he said quietly, "crying over him, that is. You're crying because everyone was talking about you, because you hate attention. Sure, they are talking about you because of him but you shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's not your fault."

"There's going to be a lot more talk," I realized out loud. "When the news that I've already moved on gets out. They're all going to be talking about me all over again."

Edward's face fell and I knew immediately that I shouldn't have said that. It had come out all wrong, like I was ashamed of him or something.

"We can wait," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "If that's what you want."

"No!" I insisted, "I don't want to wait."

"You're right, though. Clearly the entire school knows that your wedding fell apart, when you marry someone else a few months later, they'll have plenty to say about it and it won't be pity anymore. I don't want to be the reason you come home and cry in the shower every day."

When it was just me, it was too easy to let it get to me, to take it personally. However, I felt myself growing angry that it was hurting Edward too. I couldn't let that happen. Not to him, the man who had always been my biggest defender. I felt my spine stiffen and my nerves harden. "Know what?" I declared, "Fuck 'em!"

"Bella," he chided.

"No. I am not hiding you. I'm not hiding our relationship. It's taken us twenty damn years to get to this point and I'll be damned if I'm going to let a bunch of pissy teenagers and gossipy old hags make me feel like I should be ashamed because I'm not. I love you so fucking much."

"Sweetheart, I just picked you up off the shower floor."

"I know," I nodded. "It was a bad day, but I was caught off guard. I've been so happy lately, that I just forgot about everything else. I wasn't prepared to have it thrown in my face repeatedly. I'm prepared now and you have always been my rock, my favorite person, the best part of my life. I will _not_ let what anyone says or thinks dictate our life. Let 'em talk. Besides," I added with a playful smile as I turned to straddle him, "once they see how sexy you are, they'll totally understand and if not, I don't care. Let 'em talk."

Talk they did. Edward had flowers delivered to work on my birthday. A beautiful arrangement of red roses and white calla lilies. They were gorgeous. I wasn't lying when I told everyone that they were a birthday present from my best friend. However, the flowers peaked some curiosity and eventually my friend and fellow English teacher asked about the ring I wore on my left hand ring finger. "I thought maybe you were having a tough time letting go so I didn't want to bring it up," she remarked, "but then I noticed that it's a different ring."

"And?"

"And you got those gorgeous flowers and I'm just wondering if you're not telling me something."

I liked Bree, she was one of my closest work friends and the wedding was only a month away so over lunch, I spilled the beans. She was a good friend and kept it to herself but once the cat was out of the bag, I decided to just embrace it.

A few of the older, more conservative teachers made their disdain known. Apparently it didn't matter that my ex had been cheating and knocked up another girl. In their eyes, it was simply scandalous that I had moved on so quickly. _Whatever._ I'd already decided not to let them get to me. I couldn't wait to marry Edward and no one was going to make me feel bad about it. Not even some cranky old biddies.

Before I knew it, September melted into October and then it was the big day. We had decided against bachelor or bachelorette parties. What's the point when your best friend can't come? We briefly considered a combined party but neither of us was really into the idea. It just wasn't our scene.

I woke early on our wedding day, having a million things to accomplish. Before leaving the house, I took one last look at my best friend, thrilled in the knowledge that the next time I saw him, we'd be getting married. I placed a kiss on his forehead and lowered my lips to his ear.

"Happy wedding day," I whispered as he began to stir. "Jazz and Em are coming to get you in a little while and I'll see you at the altar."

"I can't wait," he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep. "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied, placing another kiss on his cheek. "By the way," I added, "I win. You owe me dishes and foot rubs."

"Anything for you, Mrs. Cullen."

The only thing that kept me from crawling back into bed with him was the urgent need to make that title official.

I drove to Port Angeles with my sisters and mothers. We spent the morning being pampered at a small salon there. I wanted to look beautiful for Edward and so I'd actually agreed when Alice suggested the complete package; massage, nails, hair, makeup, the works. Esme and Renee left the salon before the rest of us, to head over and begin decorating for the ceremony. It was going to be a small affair, only our family along with Angela, Ben and a few other guests.

By the time I arrived at Forks Elementary School, the room had already been decorated with a few flowers, the tiny desks of Mrs. Cope's class room had been moved to another room temporarily to allow space for a small archway and seats for the guests. I'd come to the school on a whim and a prayer, meeting first with the principal who gushed over my sweet love story before walking me down the hall to my old second grade classroom. I was stunned to see Mrs. Cope's name still there next to the door, and even more stunned to see the woman herself flitting around the room getting things ready for the school year.

To my astonishment, she actually remembered me and began to tear up as I told her the story of Edward and I. Our years of friendship and the way we finally found true love with each other. When I told her my far-fetched plan of marrying my best friend in the place where we met, she and the principal happily agreed to facilitate my dream. Fate was again on my side, especially when I was informed that our wedding date happened to fall on a half day for the school. This allowed us extra time to ready the room once school let out for the day. It fell together so easily that for a long time I worried that I had dreamed it.

The principal had happily allowed us another class room to dress in though I did find it a little odd to undress in a room covered in art projects and papers with names scrawled in large chunky handwriting on them. I couldn't keep my eyes off the clock, counting down the minutes until I could join my life with Edwards. It was unconventional to be sure, but I was elated that the school had been willing to let us marry here. My only regret was that I wouldn't see Edward's face when he arrived. I hope he enjoyed the symbolism and didn't find it odd or inappropriate.

I was nearly out of my mind with anticipation by the time my father knocked on the door and told me it was time. Alice and Rose excused themselves to go sit with their men, leaving me a moment alone with my parents. They didn't say much except to tell me that I looked beautiful and that they loved me. They sandwiched me in a warm embrace before my mother scurried off to take her seat.

"Ready?" Dad asked, holding her arm out for me to take.

"Ready." I repeated eagerly.

"Alright, let's do this."

I turned to my father, handsome in his suit, and raised an eyebrow. "What? Not going to encourage me to sneak out the back this time?"

"Nope, I reckon that you're exactly where you're supposed to be this time." I nodded in agreement as he continued. "Now, I'm your daddy and I'm not supposed to think any man is good enough for you, but Edward? Well, I think he's always been a good kid and he's grown into a fine man. I think he is as close to good enough as any man could be when it comes to my baby girl. I trust him to take care of you and that's all any father can hope for."

I had to blink away tears so I wouldn't ruin my makeup as I slipped my arm into my father's for the second time this year. We walked down the familiar hallway to Mrs. Cope's classroom, listening as the music playing softly on a CD player gradually grew louder. Unlike the last time, there were absolutely no nerves this time. It had only been a few hours but I couldn't wait to see Edward again.

Then we turned the corner, entered the room and there he was, looking incredible in his suit and tie. I walked with my father down a makeshift aisle of flower petals strewn over tile, but I only had eyes for Edward. I didn't see anyone else in the room, even as I walked right by them. In my mind, there was no one else but Edward there with me. I vaguely registered my dad kissing my cheek before literally giving my hand over to Edward. With his hands in mine, I felt whole again.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered to me, just before the judge began speaking.

Given the short time frame we had to plan this wedding, we'd decided against writing our own vows and opted for the traditional. So, I was caught off guard when the judge reached that point of the ceremony and simply turned the time over to us. _Shit! _What was I supposed to say? I hadn't prepared anything. Just as I was beginning to freak out, Edward handed me a small slip of paper. It was a photocopy of another paper, one I hadn't seen since I was a child. I looked up at Edward with a gasp. He smiled and nodded, motioning to the paper in my hand, the paper that held vows I had written two decades before.

"I, Isabella Marie Swan," I began, my voice shaky with emotion as I read from the small piece of paper, "promise to be Edward's best friend forever and ever, and I promise that I won't let that stupid Jane make fun of his hair and to never ever fight with him even when he eats the last cookie."

Our families laughed and my heart warmed with the memory of the day two silly kids had written these friendship vows. There was more to it now though. I wasn't a child anymore and I had more promises to make so I continued, speaking from my heart as I looked deep into Edward's eyes. "I promise to be faithful, understanding, and supportive. Most of all, I promise to love you for the rest of my life and beyond that. I promise to love you forever and ever."

Edward squeezed my hands and smiled tenderly as the judge handed the time over to him. I hadn't heard them for twenty years but I knew what he was about to say. Though I didn't realize it, the words had been tattooed on my heart.

"I, Edward Anthony Cullen, promise to be Bella's best friend forever and ever and to protect her from the stupid older boys when they call her clumsy, to let her beat me sometimes when we race even though I'm way faster, and I promise I won't eat the last cookie anymore," he said with a wink but, like me, he wasn't finished.

"Bella, you are the love of my life. Before I even knew it, my world revolved around you. I cannot wait to live the rest of my life with you, to start a family with you, and to grow old with you, my best friend and my reason for existence. You are my forever and ever."

I desperately wanted to kiss him right that moment but waited impatiently for the judge to finish. The moment he announced us husband and wife, I launched myself at Edward. He was ready for me and captured my lips with his own right as the judge said the words "you may kiss the bride."

It wasn't exactly 'church tongue' as Drew Barrymore in _The Wedding Singer_ would have called it, but we weren't in a church and I didn't really care. It didn't even matter that my mother, father, and brother were watching. I just needed to kiss this man and kiss him hard. We kissed long enough that my father had to clear his throat a couple of times to break us out of our little bubble. When we came up for air, I heard Emmett guffaw loudly and offer up a little wolf whistle until Rosalie jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

As the judge introduced us as husband and wife, Edward pulled me against his side and nuzzled his face into my neck. "Surprised?" I asked.

"Very," he murmured against my throat. "How did you pull this off."

"It was easy. Apparently, the principal and Mrs. Cope are hopeless romantics."

He lifted his head and stared at me as if I'd sprouted a new nose. "Mrs. Cope? She's still alive?"

"And teaching," I added, "in this classroom. Didn't you notice the nameplate on the door? Or wonder about the vaguely familiar looking older lady sitting in the corner?"

He glanced her way and gasped, recognition finally setting in. "Oh my God, it _is _her!"

I laughed lightly and kissed him once more before our families pulled us in separate directions for hug and congratulations. Sweet Mrs. Cope was in tears when Edward and I approached her. She pulled the both of us into a big hug, gushing about how happy she was for us. Edward, ever the charmer, took her hands in his and thanked her repeatedly. "She's my life, Mrs. Cope. I'll owe you for eternity for introducing me to my soulmate. Thank you for letting me sit next to her that day."

She hugged us both once more and kissed our cheeks. "Cherish each other," she said softly. "Even when you were in my class and just little ones, I could see that you two had a special connection. Not everyone gets that. So, you hold on to it, ok?"

We agreed and went back to our families for a few more minutes before the party moved to The Lodge, Forks' only relatively upscale restaurant. I just wanted a simple family dinner instead of a grand reception, but my parents along with Esme and Carlisle had rented out one of their private rooms. It was possibly the world's smallest reception but there was delicious food and soft music so it was ok with me. After we ate, my dad insisted on a dance to which I happily complied. When the song ended, Edward cut in and we shared our first dance as a married couple. The evening flew by in a happy blur of drinks and dancing with the people who meant the most to me. I imbibed a little too much but Edward switched to water after the impromptu toasts had finished.

As the small party wound down, Edward pulled me outside where his car was waiting. Emmett and Jasper had gone to town decorating it with balloons and streamers and the words 'Just Married' emblazoned on the back window in that special chalk paint for cars. Edward held open the door for me as we waved good-bye to our families. I laughed as I folded myself into the car. It was filled with condoms, some blown up like balloons and another one rolled over the shifter. Edward came around and took his seat behind the wheel, joining in my laughter as he carefully peeled the condom from the shifter and tossed it into the backseat.

"How'd your car get here?" I blurted out. The alcohol having lowered my filter.

"I needed it," he replied simply. "So I had Emmett follow us in my car while Jasper drove me here, blindfolded the whole way I might add. Do you know how boring a three hour drive is when you can't see?"

"But I surprised you, right?"

"Sure did," he said, flashing me his brilliant smile. "That was probably the last place I expected to end up."

"Was it ok?" I asked nervously. "I know it's a bit untraditional but it felt right."

"Baby, it was fucking perfect."

Edward's big honeymoon surprise was taking me to his parent's home on one of the San Juan Islands. It was very close to home but right on the beach, secluded and beautiful. As we pulled up, he told me he'd chosen this place because it was homey and he didn't plan on us leaving until it was time to return home.

Since he wouldn't give me any hints about the honeymoon locale, I had Alice pack my bags for me. Clearly, she was on her brother's side because when I opened my bag, all I could find was bikinis and lingerie along with only one day's worth of actual clothing that had probably been intended for me to wear home. _Fucking Alice. _

Of course, by the time we arrived, it was getting late and I'd had a bit too much to drink so I was feeling adventurous. I pulled on a white silk nightie and padded out of the room to find my husband.

As it turned out, Alice had packed too much. Edward and I barely left the bed except to retrieve food which was usually shared in bed, feeding each other. It was bliss.

Because of the short notice, we'd only managed to snag a few days away from work and far too soon, we were getting ready to make the short drive home. "Ready to begin our new life together?" I asked as we loaded suitcases into the trunk of his car.

"Absolutely, Mrs. Cullen," he said with a smile, cupping my face in his hands. "You are mine now and I am yours."

"Forever and ever?"

He kissed me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. "Forever and ever, my love."

* * *

><p>Well, I hope you were satisfied with their wedding. When I began thinking of wedding locations for these two, I had a few different ideas but, like Bella, none seemed as right as this one. Would love to know what you think!<p> 


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